Post # 1
Any bees out there who married or are in a LTR with someone who has an insane amount of student debt? I was lucky and got through school with no debt, but my SO has loan payments of about $800 a month. When it is all said and done with that plus the monthly utilities, gas, groceries, he has literally no $. We live together and have kept finances separate except for one account which we each put a set amount in monthly for shared expenses like utilities. He can’t save any $ for things like…engagement ring, wedding, kids…..all things that we both want. We love each other dearly and don’t want this to prevent these life goals from happening. It’s causing some relationship conflicts.
Anyone out there with similar circumstances who made it work?
Post # 3
@ms_margarita: I’m in a kind of similar situation – my FI is finishing up medical school and will have nearly $200k in student loans when all is said and done. We’re getting married after classes are over, but right before he graduates, so we’ll start out married life facing the decision of deferring or starting to make payments.
I know it’s stressful, and kind of terrifying, but I keep telling him (and myself) that there are a lot of people out there that make it work, so I know we will be able to as well. I know it’s going to be tight for quite some time, but I figure as long as we’re open and honest with each other and communicate well, hopefully it won’t cause too many issues. I guess we’ll find out soon enough though….
Post # 4
@ms_margarita: Yep, my FI has about $26k in debt and just finished up grad school. He is seeking better employment, but right now only makes about $30k a year. I make more than double him and only have about $4k left in student loan debt.
Up until two years ago, we split things 50/50. It left him with nearly no money at the end of the month. When we started discussing marriage more seriously, our financial approached change. We starting spliting things 65/35…so it more appropriately reflected our incomes.
Now, he is able to pay his debt/bills and have money left to save. In general though, I do most of the saving for the two of us. So the large sum in my savings account is going toward OUR house and OUR honeymoon.
Post # 5
I’m in a similar situation. Not only does my FI have student loan debt, but I am just finishing up grad school and will have a sizable amount my self ($800/month). However there are several options out there. I am looking into doing a graduate repayment plan so that I won’t have to pay as much while I am just starting out in my career and marriage. Most loan servicers will allow you to switch your repayment plan once a year.
Post # 6
It was the opposite for me!
I’m in 15K ish of student loan debt, and only make 20K a year (with a full-time job and a bachelor’s degree)
DH got through college with NO student loans (seriously eff that guy…) and makes 80K a year!
So it’s hard learning to balance things. I definitely had to swallow my pride a LOT when we moved into our exorbitantly expensive apartment where I only pay 30% of the bills!
Post # 7
It’s actually reversed with us…FI has no student debt and a great full time job. I have about 30k in student loans and work 3 crappy part time jobs with my bachelors degree.
In what world does that make sense?!
I do feel bad that he’s marrying into debt, though:(
Post # 8
@ms_margarita: I am in the exact same situation. I got through debt-free, but DH had significant loans. We pay the same monthly to his loans and our mortgage–$1,300 each. Our 5 year anniversary is coming up in a month and his student loans should only be one more year!
Post # 9
It’s definitely reversed for us…he is helping his parents pay off his student loans, but he has a great job making 6 figures and a lifetime career. I’m just finishing my first year of grad school and by the end will be nearly 70K in debt. Ugh.
Post # 10
Honey I finished grad school with 34K in student loans way back in in 1996. Today I was estatic to learn that I am a mere 1K away from paying off my student loans. Just about everybody carries some form of debt. There are ways to make it work. At least your man’s debt is from him investing in his future.
That being said, they originally wanted me to pay over $500 a month, which I could not afford at the time. I petitioned them to lower my cost and my new monthly payments were almost half of that. Maybe he could do the same???
Post # 11
Have you looked into one of the income based payment plans where its 15% of your income for 25 years and then its forgiven?
Post # 12
It’s not huge debt to what I know some people are in. DH got into a car loan, which was terrible. Got in to a few arguments as he wouldn’t refinance. The interest rate was something insanely high. All fixed! He has about 18k left, down from 26k. We will have it paid off in a year now, just gonna throw everything at it.
Post # 13
Kind of…though the amount he owed wasn’t anything like as much as I’ve seen you guys mentioning.
I did say to him I wouldn’t agree to get engaged to him if he had credit card debt so we worked out a repayment plan and got rid of it. Then he proposed and I said yes 🙂 He does still have a student loan debt but that only takes about £80 a month out of his wages so that doesn’t bother me.
Post # 14
@Milo: I feel you on that! My SO’s car loan is down under 10k now but we’re working hard to try to get it paid off. Her car & my student loans are the only debt we have but my loans won’t come due for another year (when I graduate) so we’re wanting to get the car down now if we can. It’s so annoying that cars are so expensive lol
Post # 15
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@ms_margarita: He could do forbearance for up to five years if he wants. However, it will continue to add on interest during that time and he will have to pay back even more. There are many different payback options, even one based on income which could reduce his monthly payments but then it will take even longer to pay back.
Student loan debt sucks. My loans look like that too and I don’t look forward to seeing what my payments are at the end of this year.
Post # 16
@ms_margarita: We dumped a lot of loaned money in the college pit, between us. But we never let it get in the way. Last year we went on vacation in Japan and he proposed with a gorgeous ring, this summer we’re paying for our own wedding. Honeymoon will have to be delayed until wintertime, but it’ll be nice to get out of the cold.
Oh, and in terms of pure salary alone, we make less each than almost anyone else we know. ;D