Post # 1
My FI and I had a funny discussion on the phrase “marrying my best friend”. I said to him, “You’re not my best friend! Mer is!” b/c it’s true! Same goes for him and his best friend…and there’s nothing wrong with that.
My FI is my heart and soul, lifeline and partner but I would never say “best friend”. I think people overuse that cliche without really thinking about it. For example…
As much as I love my FI for doing this, he can be a little over protective. Sometimes I like to do things that are bad for me like eat something I shouldn’t, have a cigarette, or get drunk without criticism. FI always has my best interest at heart. Meanwhile, my bff would say, “F it! Have another!!” when she knows I’ve had a bad day.
I feel like my bff will be BRUTALLY honest with me whereas my FI might consider my feelings more. Not sure which I prefer lol, but I suppose they see me differently. FI has rose colored glasses and my bff will tell it like is.
There are so many things I don’t care about/understand/know about my FI and his bff, like their nerdy computer stuff, online games and weird sci-fi references…GOOD!! They have that, and I think that’s great! I don’t expect him to give a shit about my gel manicures, Broadway shows and obsession with all things houndstooth!!
Does that make sense? Point is, there are just some things only a true best friend can understand, and that is not always your SO.
Post # 3
@BurlapnLace: I totally get your point, but for many people their SO and their best friend happen to reside within the same person. My Fiance is more understanding and more supportive than anyone else I know. I have a female best friend who cannot compare to the level of friendship between my SO and I! He is the first person to tell me to take a break, de-stress, reward myself, or the first person to say hey, you’re slacking off. That level of honesty and companionship is what I think distinguishes a best friend, and he is that for me!
Post # 4
Totally makes sense. I think it depends a lot on when you met, and what was going on in your life at the time. For instance, I consider DH is my best friend, but we also met when I was 18, and had just moved away from my best friends and was making new ones. If I had met him earlier or later in life, things might be different. Even still though, I find the phrase to be a bit cliche, and I avoided saying it at my wedding (though the Best Man commented on it in his speech).
Post # 5
Yes, I agree with you.
I am not sure why there’s such a huge debate over this, though (I see it everywhere). It’s just semantics lol.
I think of my best friend as my female best friend that I’ve had since grade 10. My husband definitely is the most important person to me, but I guess I differentiate by not calling him my ‘best friend’ since he is my husband.
Post # 6
Fi isn’t my best friend, but apparently I’m his which makes me a little sad. We were talking about our wedding parties and I said that L was gonna be my maid of honor because she’s my best friend. I asked him who his best man was going to be and he didn’t know. I said, “Well, who’s your best friend?” “Uh…probably you.” That spun off into how I should be the bride and best man and just wear a tie and blazer with my dress and stand behind him when it’s time to give him the rings and then pop back onto my side for bridely things. I still have no idea who he’s going to pick.
Post # 7
I don’t typically call my husband my best friend. I have a lot of close girlfriends, and I met him later in life. I went through a lot of stuff before he came along. Do I share my life with him and love him and want to tell him everything (almost) etc? Yes, but I don’t have the same relationship that I do with him as I do with my female best friend. He’s my husband, which that in and of itself is a trump card over all overs.
I do think that people feel pressure to say “oh I”m marrying my best friend”. Like if they don’t call their SO their BFF they are marrying the wrong person or are going to be judged. I certainly wondered if I was doing something wrong by feeling like he wasn’t my “BFF FOR LIFE!” Until I got married. Like I said, he’s my husband for life, and that’s 10x better.
Post # 8
DH is totally my best friend. We help eachother out when were feeling down, act silly together, go do activities.. I mean I have two really good friends, but I’d always prefer to do things with DH over them. I think it’s healthy to have friends outside of your relationship, but I just happen to marry the guy version of myself lol
Post # 9
@HonoraryNerd: OMG stop. My FI needs more guy friends. For real.
Post # 10
@BurlapnLace: makes sense to me. my husband and i laugh at the notion when people feel forced to say “and today i marry my best friend”. no. i’m not his best friend and i’m okay with that. lol we are closer than that. a best friend has its place but i am who he goes to first before talking about OUR decision with his best friend.
basically i agree with you 100%.
Post # 11
I get what youre saying, but my SO actually is my best friend. Nobody understands me like he does. He knows more about me than anyone on earth, including my parents and other family. I feel comfortable around him more than anyone. He is my biggest fan and supporter. And when good things happen to me, he is my ‘first call’ (also when bad things happen too, lol). I trust him with all of my secrets, more than I have ever trusted a best friend before. His loyalty to me far surpasses a regular best friend, in my opinion. I think everyone should marry their best friend because when the novelty of love temporarily dims and fades, the friendship is always there as a backbone.
Post # 12
My FI truly is my best friend. We were best friends for several years before we became a couple (we felt more for each other while we were friends but the timing wasn’t right for various reasons…until it was!). I have a few really good, close girlfriends, but if someone asked me who my BEST friend is, it’s definitely him.
It’s not like that for everyone though! I don’t feel like it’s weird either way. It’s totally okay if your SO isn’t your best friend and it’s also perfectly okay if he/she is.
Obviously he is MORE than my best friend, but he’s also my best friend.
Post # 13
I always said that DH wasn’t my best friend. And one day he was like “Please. I’m WAY more awesome than your BFF.”
So maybe he is, a little bit. But I think a lot of couples are not one another’s BFFs!
My DH is just a little bit of a girl deep inside, and he’s more fun shopping and gossiping with than my female BFF!
Post # 14
@BurlapnLace: I’m marrying my male best friend, but I also have a female best friend. We were also best friends in high school before we dated.
Post # 15
My SO feels the same way, and I think I see our relationship that way as well. He’s the most important person to me, he’s who I tell things to first, but I turn to different friends to fulfill different needs – he is not my eating buddy or my spa friend, but I can talk strength-training with him, cooking, travelling, etc.
Post # 16
@BurlapnLace: I don’t think my husband and I regard each other as best friends either.
While we enjoy each other and have fun and confide in each other…its still not a friend dymanic to me.