Post # 1
I’m so happy to be in such nice supportive forum.
Anyway, my boyfriend of 4.5 years proposed last weekend! ::squeals::
Background: this is my first REAL relationship. When I was in 7th grade I had a boyfriend for 3 weeks. To me, that doesn’t even count since we never even spoke to one another at school. I didn’t date in high school or early college. I had opportunities and almost did a few times, but I never really desired to have a relationship with any of the guys I met. I liked just being friends with the guys that I met. Junior year of college, I “met” T (we actually went to high school together and were in similar circles, but our paths didn’t really ever cross). He was AMAZING. He had a kind heart, he made me laugh and feel like I was the most special person in the world… he still does. I’d never been happier. Anyway, after we started dating, my health took a tumble. I was diagnosed with several reproductive problems, had numerous surgeries and was diagnosed with a couple of autoimmune disorders. He’s been with me and supported me through all of it. Even through those tough times, I was still the happiest I’ve ever been; It’s beautiful. I’m actually tearing up a bit.
Throughout our relationship, my family members have brought up the fact that I shouldn’t marry the first man I ever dated. Their reasoning is logical. I don’t “know” what’s out there. These statements are always prefaced with, “he’s a great person. We really like him, and we know he’s been there for you.” They just don’t want me to miss out on something supposedly ‘better.’ For me the logic is out the window when you put it into real life. Why would I break off the best thing that’s happened to me so that I can go out in the world just to realize that I had the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s my relationship, my life, and, ultimately, my family will support me. However, I need some witty comebacks that are still nice but kill the topic when it gets brought up. A lot of the time they say these things behind my back, but when it does come up again, I want to be ready with my new snarky engaged response instead of my usual long-winded explanation as to why he’s my prince over all of the other possible toads.
When I’m feeling really cheeky I usually say, “well, I can’t help it that I got it right the first time.” I usually feel bad when I say that though. I’ve been told I’m delicate and sensitive, and I don’t deny it. So, I don’t think I have the cajones to tell my nearest and dearest to butt out (despite how much I want to.)
So, ladies, will you lend me some of your creative juices to help come up with a topic killing comeback?
Post # 3
I think that comeback is great, actually. Gets the point across without being rude.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Just get married – that will shut them up 🙂
I was half expecting you to write about how you’re 18 and KNOW he’s the one blah blah… but no, you sound totally reasonable and grown up. Don’t listen to them. Sure, you may be missing out… but I doubt it.
Post # 4
@MoodyFoodie: “You know, most families are HAPPY when their kids don’t sleep around!”
Post # 5
I don’t have a comeback but I know a couple people who married their first real boyfriend/girlfriend. If you feel like it’s meant to be and are comfortable then nothing else should matter.
“well, I can’t help it that I got it right the first time.”
I would refrain from saying that.
Congrats on your engagement!
Post # 6
@canarydiamond: I was expecting that, too!
Post # 7
Congrats on your engagement and ignore these individuals. wth. no response necessary. Ignoring them is the best revenge
Post # 8
@canarydiamond: Haha I was totally expecting that too. When I read how long they have been together I was like, uh what’s the big deal?
Post # 9
Honestly, I think graciously accepting their unsolicited opinion is the best way to go. Snarky comebacks just make you seem defensive and give them further leverage.
Post # 10
@figgnewton: I agree. Refrain from saying that, otherwise you’re just being bitchy and defensive.
Post # 11
[comment moderated for sockpuppeting]
Post # 12
@BrandNewBride: buahah! I love this!
I don’t have any cheeky comebacks, and usually I do, but I just wanted to say that I am my husband’s first girlfriend and he said he wouldn’t want it any other way. I wouldn’t want it any other way either, he is amazing and I would be devastated if we split because people said ignorant things like that to him AND he actually took them to heart.
Congratulations on your engagement! Tell you family to stuff it.
Post # 13
If you love him and he has proven to you that he is worth spending the rest of your life with, no one elses opinion matters.
I have had a few relationships to get where I am today, but I needed them to grow up. I was very immature in my 20’s. Honestly I dont know how my two long term boyfriends back then handled me selfishness at all. I am finally a more responsible person and can now handle a grown up relationship. I needed that time in my 20s to learn who I was and what I wanted. A lot of the people who are saying these things to you may have had experiences like me and think its better to learn who you are before you get married. (That doesnt mean YOU don’t know who you are yet, some people take longer to figure it out)
My parents got married when my Mom was 17 and has been happily married to my Dad for 35 years now. If I had gotten married at 17 I would have no doubt been devoirced by now!
EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT!
Post # 14
Sorry I’m terrible with come backs! I’m the type to say exactly how I feel and if you continue to bring up the same subject you will simply get the ‘face’ and get the hint to talk about something else.
Post # 15
@MoodyFoodie: I like your comeback 🙂
And just to make you feel a bit better, one of my best friends (we’re part of a circle of high school friends who are still best buds ten years after graduation) married his girlfriend of 7 years last year, and they seem happier than ever… They are both each others’ first real relationship! Some people really do get it right the first time. They are a great match for each other and it sounds like you guys are too!
Post # 16
Haha, I like your “got it right on the first try” response. If you want to say something more serious, just remind people how happy you two are, that’s all that matters, and you hope everyone who cares about you will be happy you’re happy. My parents were high school sweethearts, met when they were 14 or 15, got married at 20, and will be together for 40 years next year. You can’t help when you find “the one!”