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A con to having it later is that your elderly guest and some of your married couples (if they have kids) will leave before the end.
I think most people are used to waiting a little in between mass and reception, so I vote for the first option.
I agree I would go with the first option, because most people expect to have some sort of gap in between the ceremony and reception. This will give you some time to relax and take pictures, and your guests can hang at a bar or take a walk around the city until the cocktail hour.
First option. The gap will give you a great time for pics. And with the later ceremony, your guests will start to get very hungry. Also, we had our ceremony at 4, our cocktail "hour" from 4:30 to 6:00 and then dinner and dancing until 10:30. It ended early but it was long enough (we were exhausted) and if you want you are in NYC, so you have a lot of options for a formal or informal afterparty. Ours was on a Sunday in Vermont, so no afterparty for us.
I think the gap is a bad idea unless all of the guests either live very close by or are staying in a hotel close by. There is nothing worse than having to sit somewhere and wait for 3 hours in between a wedding and reception. Catholic masses typically last closer to an hour and a half than an hour and even if the reception is 10 minutes away, it will take about 30 minutes for the first guests to get over there because people chat and dilly dally. How about doing the mass at 3:00, which will last until closer to 4:30 and then starting the cocktail hour at 5:00 pm. At 6:00pm or even 6:30pm guests will go in for dinner and you can take the reception until 10:00 - 11:00 pm without that awful gap.
I'm sorry but I HATE gaps. If her is a large gap and I don't live near by or have a hotel room, I just go to either the ceremony or the reception. Sitting around for three hours in an evening gown? no thank you.
I say go for the latter option. Your guests will know ahead of time that it will be a late evening wedding and will plan their day accordingly. Grandma can take a nap during the day. I've been to lots of weddings that go until 2am and most people stay until at least 1am. Just think of it as a party.
Some pros for having it later is that you have more time to get ready and take a ton of photos before the ceremony! Plus, no one likes gaps!
If you pick the 3:00 slot, then you won't have much time for pictures afterward before people start wandering in for the next mass. You might have to do pictures offsite or before the ceremony. Your guests will be forced to leave the church by 4:30 or so, and the OOT guests will be stuck in limbo until the reception site opens. Maybe you can fill in the gap by having someone from your FI's side of the family "host" a happy hour at a local lounge or something.
If you pick the 6:30 slot then you might skip the coctail hour in the interest of time, or make it a coctail half-hour. (Sorry for the pun!) Then push up the special dances, cake cutting, bouquet toss, etc close to the beginning of the reception, so grandma doesn't miss anything before she has to leave. :)
I loathe gaps that are 2+ hours long... I vote for the evening mass.
I've never been to a wedding with a gap-what are people supposed to do, especially if they are from out of town? It seems like a huge imposition to me. But then I also think it is rude when the bride and groom take endless pictures while everyone stands around and waits for food and drink. I like Mrs. Louboutin's suggestion.
I don't mind the gap. I think you could easily give people a list of things to do in NYC for that time period.
But I voted for 6:30 because that way the mass would fulfill the Sunday obligation :) And it would give your guests time to check into their hotels before the wedding.
I picked the second option. I don't like gaps either. Especially if you are out of town, it is hard for guests to think of something to do that fills that time. If am in town and go home in between the wedding and the reception...it will be a pain to get redressed and go back out.
I am surprised that Jacqi is the only one who mentioned that a later mass would fulfill the Sunday obligation. That was my first thought...I find it more thoughtful for your Catholic guests....and for you as well. Do you really want to get up early for mass the morning after your wedding night?
I prefer weddings that start later, and I hate gaps, so my vote is definitely for the 6:30 pm mass.
I don't mind gaps. Most of the weddings I've been to were Catholic. And the gap is standard. Why not poll your family an ask which they'd prefer. Maybe grandma feels up to cutting a rug at midnight? Or maybe they prefer the earlier mass.
The nice thing about an evening mass, though is that it would meet their Sunday obligation. ;) Whereas the earlier would not. Well that's debateable. But the evening one would definitely meet it, if it's a full mass.
I'd vote for the latter. Those with kids or elderly would be just as likely to leave early, especially if there is a gap and everyone is tired from sitting around all day to wait.
Folks will be excited and amped up and at least if you have a good portion of younger friends and families, they will definitely stick aroudn once all the plates are taken to have a great party!
I don't like gaps either. I'd also prefer a later mass that would fulfill your Sunday obligation. Then you and your guests can sleep in the following day!
However, like you said, there's plenty to do in NYC that your guests could kill a couple hours. You're probably in a better situation to have a gap than most people.
Why inconvenience your guests with a gap if you can avoid it? 8pm is a totally normal dinner time in New York.
Well, I am in your shoes too...although I wasn't even give a 2nd option! It was 1:30PM or not at all. There is 4PM confession and 5PM mass and the priest doesn't want the wedding running into confession (ugh). He initially said 1PM until we begged for 1:30.
But I figure mass will go until probably 2:30-2:45. Cocktail hour starts at 3:15 at the reception which is a good 20 minutes from the church. Then, we plan on arriving around 4-4:15 dinner served shortly after...dancing after dinner until whenever!
So, even though there's a gap i think we'll manage it well. We are even providing a shuttle at the hotel so most may go back there to change into fancier clothes (my fam does this!) and catch the shuttle. We are both catholic families so I'm sure they will understand. Our friends, not so much but honestly i don't care b/c there's nothing i can do :)
So, I vote 3PM!
I could be mistaken, but I believe that if you do the 6:30 mass time then you have to use that Sunday's readings, not ones that you pick out (because it is after the vigil).
Another thing to keep in mind is lighting for your pictures--will you want outdoor pictures after your ceremony? If so, go with the earlier mass!
We're actually having a 1:00 ceremony, followed by a gap, then cocktail hour starting at 4:00. We are arranging a tour for our guests during the gap of the university campus where our ceremony is being held. We had wanted to have the ceremony at 3, but someone else booked that slot before us (it's really competitive to get married at this church---we were calling like crazy people the day they started booking). At first I was really disappointed, but someone pointed out to me that the lighting will be much better for pictures when we get out of our mass at 2:30 than it would be at 4:30.
Screw the gap. I'm in your shoes, and we went with the 6:30 mass. It allows for the party to go later, which we preferred, hands down.
I am in a similar situation you are. I can only have our wedding at 1pm or 6pm due to a mass at 4pm. I was really bothered by the time selection but decided on the 6pm wedding and here's why...
I hate gaps at weddings and I didn't want our guests to sit around and wait. I think it kind of ruins the fun for guests to sit around and wait for the meal or the party to be started. By the end of the day people are tired just from the hurry up and wait of it al.
What is more romantic than an evening, candlelight church wedding?!!
We are doing our photos before the ceremony so I don't have any worries about getting pictures done after. So this means I don't have to get up SO early, my bridesmaids and I can get a facial or pedi before we get ready and I won't be exhausted by night's end.
Ultimately it's what YOU want but there is my two sense. Good luck!!
I hate gaps, so I voted for the later Mass (also fullfills the obligation for practicing Catholics). However, if you can afford to book a tour bus for the gap, that would be fun and awesome. If that option is in the cards for you financially, I think the earlies mass would give you a good chunk of time for pics and give you the timeline for the reception you seem to desire.
Though, don't worry about grandma. It is totally normal for older guests to leave before the end. I'm expecting it at my reception (and planning the music accordingly ;-) ).
Ok so I did NOT want to have a gap. However, that is what ended up happening to be the best option and everyone says don't worry about it. Our ceremony will be 2:30 and the reception at 5. The nice piece is that we will be able to actually enjoy the cocktail hour. I figure that during the gap guests can check-in to the hotel (a lot out of town people) and then relax around the hotel or enjoy the area around the reception. After people are done talking and stuff after the wedding and then get over to the reception there shouldn't be much of a gap. Hopefully, people don't feel like they are waiting because I didn't have a later option. It was a a Catholic ceremony with a gap or no gap and the ceremony at the reception site, which my mother is still horrified that I even considered.
Do the earlier time, but without the gap. Your guests who want to party will find a way to keep it going (like at bar/club/hotel). Your guests who are traveling home or who don't stay out late will appreciate it!
I voted for the 3 time slot. and then have an earlier dinner. Older guests or people who don't normally stay out late will feel more comfortable.
Really the gap isn't that big if you do a receiving line after the ceremony (like 30 minutes)
Plus, my cousin had a late mass for her ceremony, and everything just felt so rushed, and people were tired and leaving by 10:30 anyway, when it didn't officially end until midnight. It just makes for too-long of a day.
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I had always wondered why my friends had a big gap between their ceremonies and receptions...now I'm in their shoes!
My church does weddings at 3pm or 6:30pm (because there is a 5pm mass). We plan on having a nuptial mass and our reception venue is nearby (about 10 minutes away). We don't mind doing photos either before or after the ceremony. The wedding is black tie-ish and in NYC so we feel like it should at least go until around 11pm (it seems that most here go until midnight) and all the venues we are looking at give you a five hour time block.
So...the dilemma is whether to:
A) Have the ceremony at 3pm - 4pm. GAP, cringe. Start cocktail hour perhaps 6-7pm, then dinner/dancing 7-11pm. Not sure how we would fill the gap for our mix of local and OOT guests...procrastinate saying hi to everyone outside the church, send them along to local bars, hire a bus to drive everyone around.
OR
B) Have the ceremony 6:30-7:30pm. Start cocktail hour 7:30pm (though realistically will be closer to 8pm), then dinner/dancing until 12:30-1am. Hopefully my grandma, and even my parents, will still be awake!
I have been going back and forth and have read just about every post on the issue and am still confused! Ideas?