Post # 1
I saw a thread a few days ago where someone mentioned their BM’s hair. It was a crazy thread, but one comment I kept seeing come up was something along the lines of how unfair/controlling it is to ask your BM to have a particular hairstyle.
Is this really so bad? I’ve not been to a lot of weddings, but every one of them the BMs have had their hair matching. Maybe it’s just because I’m in the UK? I’ve been a BM once before and had ny hair how the bride asked. I always assumed that was part if the role, just like wearing a dress.
I guess it just seems odd to me. In your area, Is it normal for brides to request a particular style for their BMs? Do you find it rude for a bride to ask their BM to do their hair a certain way?
Post # 2
I saw that too and the same thought struck me! All the ‘traditional’ weddings I’ve seen here in Australia have had bridesmaids with matching hair dos. I’m sure I’ve seen threads on the bee too about matching hair dos and none of those had the same reaction as that thread.
Post # 3
It seems kind of controlling in my opinion to demand that someone look exactly how you dictate. The way I see it is that other people aren’t there for you to style like barbie dolls. They should be able to have a choice in how they want their hair and makeup done (as long as it’s not ridiculous). If someone told me I had to have a hairstyle I didn’t think was flattering on me or even just wasn’t “me”, or wanted me to wear a dark smoky eye makeup (again, not “me”) I would feel uncomfortable the whole time. It might be different in the UK, maybe it’s a more acceptable practice there?
That said, I don’t think it’s overbearing to request a certain level of formality of hairstyles though… (does that make sense? As in someone could have an updo or something down but it should look polished and formal to match the rest of the event)
Post # 4
I see nothing wrong with matching hair dos, especially if the bride/groom/person paying for the wedding pays. I think in the US where it is more common for the bridesmaids to pay, asking them to have matching hair dos can be problematic.
Post # 5
It can get to be a bit much imo if a bride is very specific about a bunch of things like hairstyle, makeup style, nail polish color, and jewelry, but the bride isn’t paying for any of that herself and the bridesmaids paid for their own dresses etc. it’s completely fine to require something specific in one or two of those categories if the bride is paying for it to happen. But, if the bride isn’t paying, then the request should be way more general (like an updo or down or half up or to the side) or the request should be optional. I don’t think bridesmaids should be forced to pay $400+ for dresses, hair, AND makeup etc that they don’t like. I’m used to buying the ugly dress, paying for flight and hotel, but it’d be nice if some brides either paid for their other preferences or were more flexible on some of hair, makeup, shoes, nails, and jewelry when the brides aren’t covering any costs.
Post # 6
ZebraPrintMe: In my area in Canada it is common that the bridesmaids pay for their own hair. I don’t think I have ever been to a wedding where all the bridesmaids have had matching hair. Not everyone looks good in the same hairstyle so I personally couldn’t imagine my girls all wearing the same hairstyle. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it as long as everyone is on the same page about the look. Its also common that the bridesmaids pay for their own attire so its kinda hard to say “the bride and groom should pay if they want the same look for everyone”. I picked my bridesmaid dresses with my girls, made sure it fit their budgets and than told them to pick a hairstyle they wished to wear that were simple (due to timing of the day). They are paying for everything so I didn’t want to be too controlling and want everyone to be comfortable as possible on the day.
Post # 7
I don’t think this is too bad if the bride is paying for it. I’ve told my girls to do whatever they want. I trust them to show up looking gorgeous! The only thing I cared about was having them all wear the same dress so that they are recognisably bridesmaids to the other guests.
Post # 8
Nay. I think it’s weird for everyone to look the exact same, however, that is the norm around here.
I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if the bride would pay for it but in my experiences I’ve always ended up paying for it…
Post # 9
Ugh, I personally hate matchy-matchy everything for bridesmaids. I have been in weddings where the bride has demanded matching dresses, matching hair, matching shoes, and matching jewelry. It is just total overkill in my opinion. I honestly do not see what the point is. We aren’t carbon copies of one another, so forcing everyone into the same dress, same hair, same accessories and expecting them all to look great is unrealistic and has made me dread some of my best friend’s weddings. It also just seems as if you don’t trust your ladies to pick a hairstyle or something. Unless you are afraid someone is going to pick a lime green mohawk, I don’t see why a bride can’t trust her ladies to just choose their own hair. I don’t find it “rude” to ask your bridesmaids to wear their hair a certain way, I just think it’s a bit much and unnecessary. As long as all girls are in the same dress, that should be cohesive enough. The only way I could see it alleviating anything is if a bride offered to pay for a certain hairstyle. I can’t complain about something I’m not paying for.
Post # 10
I paid for my bridesmaids to get their hair done, as I thought it would be fun for them to feel a little pampered and that way they could share the morning with me at the hairdresser. However, there was just no way they could have ended up with similar styles even if I had asked for it. One girl has super thick model hair that you can do anything with and the other one has silky hair that resists hairspray to the bitter end. I think we were all just happy that her hair stayed up for the entire day!
For the weddings I’ve attended as a guest (all in Canada), the bridesmaids weren’t wearing the same style. Guessing it might be because they’ve paid for it themselves.
Post # 11
My BMs didn’t pay, and they didn’t match. Everyone has different hair. I think I would prefer to see the same accessory or something than all the same hair style, but that’s just my opinion. If it’s what the bride wants, and it’s easily doable, I wouldn’t have an issue with it as a BM.
Post # 12
It has always been that way from what I remember growing up. Things are just changing so much these days that it’s apparently controlling to do that?! I personally think it’s cute to have everyone pick their own hair because I chose the dress. I feel like it allows the bridesmaid to have some individuality. I don’t think people are controlling if they want them all to have the same hairstyles. My bridesmaids asked me how I wanted their hair, so it seems like it just depends on the people & who they are.
Post # 13
I don’t like the idea of matching hairstyles. I can think of the 4 girls I would pick to be bridesmaids and me, and there is just no way I could make it work without them having to get haircuts and I’m not trying to make people later their lives outside of My one day.
That said, I got a pixie cut because I hate doing my hair and I didn’t wanna deal with long hair anymore. I have no intention of growing it out for the wedding if ever. I hate doing my hair so I wouldn’t make other people
Post # 14
Do not like. The matching dress is one thing, I can’t get behind the matching shoes but I know some people care about that, but matching hair is just too cookie cutter and “these people are props for my pretty photos”
Post # 15
I agree, that’s a bit much. I’m in Canada and I’ve never seen matching hairstyles. The wedding party I was involved with, the bride told us to do what we wanted, as long as it was done nicely. what if all the BMs have different lengths?