Post # 1
Hi everyone! This is my first post on wedding bee because this is just one thing I am stuck on while planning my wedding.
I have noticed some recent posts about non-matching bridesmaids which is exactly what I am planning. Deciding that was the easy part, now deciding how to match or whether to match the groomsmen is the hard part.
My wedding is very vintage inspired and I am not planning a really traditional wedding. For instance, I hate the look of matching bridesmaids, despise chair covers, and will not have flowers at the wedding ceremony because flowers in a church remind me of a funeral. My FI has been supportive about the mismatching dresses but when I asked his opinion on what the groomsmen should wear he thought each guy should match the girl he was paired with (i.e. the best man and maid of honor would wear the same color in vest, tie, and dress respectively). I, for one, cringed at that suggestion. I think that brings it too much back to everyone matching and losses the uniqueness that I want to it. Also, one of the dresses is a dark brown color (middle dress pictured below which is much darker in person) and with black tuxes (the only thing FI won’t budge on when it come to attire) I think it would look terrible. I was thinking about finding ties with the wedding and dress colors in them and have them all wear a cream colored vest with a tie like the one shown below but I cant decide.
Has anyone done this or seen what brides who have mismatching bridesmaids have done with their groomsmen attire? Or anyone have any suggestions on what to do? The dresses pictured below are the JCrew dresses in the style and color my bridesmaids have chosen to give you an idea
All help appreciated 🙂
Post # 3
I say no to matchy matchy also.
I love your dresses and your color scheme.
Use the cream coloured vests and ties that have the wedding colors.
Post # 4
I think using the ties with your wedding colors would be great. If your fiance really wants a little bit of “matching,” why not give each groomsman a different boutonniere in the color of a bridesmaid’s dress. It would be very subtle and actually break up the uniformity you’re chafing against.
Post # 5
I LOVE the idea of incorporating your wedding colors (which are gorgeous) into a tie and having all the men wear the same thing. I think this will look really polished and pulled together. Your FI’s idea is actually kind of cool in theory (and major props to him for thinking creatively!), but I think it might look kind of weird in reality… and too couple-y if the people matched up are not couples (which is unlikely).
Post # 6
If Fiance is hell-bent on black tuxes, and you’re hell-bent on a vintage/traditional look for the day, why not just keep the boys in black and white? Stick’em in black vests or cummerbunds and throw the hint of colors into the boutenneire as suggested above. Really, there’s nothing more vintage/traditional than leaving the men as blank canvas for the women’s dresses to shine on the evening. I think if you throw them in ties that pull together all the colors you will need to throw them in brighter vests (or no vests at all) and then you may go from Vintage to Vintage (slash) Modern Wedding Matchiness (which I think you’re trying to avoid).
As for the concern about the brown dress… I never ran into this until I started paying attention to my fiance’s wedding message-boards. I think this worry is a uniquely modern one where our only dress-up opportunities are prom and our wedding day and we’ve decided that the dates must match each other. None of the men will be “wearing” the bridemaid in the brown dress as an accessory. Just because a man in a black suit would not wear brown shoes doesn’t mean that the woman standing next to him can’t wear brown. There’s no ivory or brown in Bateman’s clothing and none on Leo’s. Sure the brown in the dresses don’t pop next to the black tuxes, but I don’t think the sight of brown next to pure black and white tuxes would be bad at all—especially in the context of a vintage-styled wedding party.
Post # 7
Ok so I tried to talk my fiance into the striped ties and was turned down. Verno, I liked your idea with the black tie/ vest. I pitched that idea with what Cinnamon Roll suggested with matching boutonnieres and I got a “whatever you want hunny” – much further then what Ive gotten in the past so I think thats a winner 🙂 Anyone think all black with white shirt then matching boutonnieres and/or matching pocket square still would look ok? I want them to look like they arent just another guest at the wedding but I also don’t want them looking too matchy to the bridesmaids either. Im really running out of ways to compromise here so still any and all suggestions are greatly welcomed!!
Post # 8
I am doing that. I let my bridesmaids pick there dresses and all of the groomsmen will be a simple traditional tux with platinum cumberbun’s and ties.