- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2018
I go home for lunch, mostly every day to eat with Mr. 99, its a nice break from the office and I get to hang out with my dogs, which is a bonus! Today we were sitting downstairs and I was goofing around with our puppy while Mr. 99 ate his sandwhich….we were watching Maury, which I know is honestly the dregs of daytime television, that doesn’t mean it isn’t interesting to say the least….
Of course, its one of those, I Know You My Baby’s Daddy episodes we all love to hate….and this poor type cast girl has cast a WIDE net of eight men to try and find the father of her child….I forget his name…..of course, none of these men is the unlucky soul…and she runs to the Crying Couch where Maury tells her he’s going to help her, even if they have to subpoena her entire zip code….as we looked on this horrendous scene…this conversation ensued….
Me: Isn’t there…like a pretty narrow window of time that you can actually get pregnant?
Him: Yeah…its like….72 hours or so…
Me: And none of those dudes is the guy….
Me: Well…we know she humped more than eight guys….I’m going to be conservative and say the REAL number is 12…..
Me: And we know that she had to sleep and eat and at least shower in that 72 hour window, right?
Him: Well, sure…humpin is hard work.
Me: So really, there was only about 42 hours where she was awake, conscious and not eating something where this could have happened…
Him: You’re point?
Me: That’s a different guy every three and a half hours!
Me: Right!? I mean, did she schedule them ahead of time….was there a line or something?
Him: Plus she lives with a dude, he’s number 4….
Me: So she’s gotta hump every three and a half hours AND avoid getting caught by the guy she lives with…that’s like Level 9 Stealth Sluttery there….
Him: Maybe it was an all once kind of thing….at like…a Denny’s, or something.
Me: Do they allow that kind of crap there…?
Him: Honey…it’s Denny’s….
Me: Either way, that’s an impressive…
Him: ….this would have made a good word problem in math class….