(Closed) Matron of Honor Does Not Approve of Destination

posted 8 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@AmandaBee…have a talk with your MOH and explain to her that while you may not have agreed with all of the choices that she made during her wedding planning process, you supported them and did your best to help her have the type of day that she wanted and you would like for her to do the same for you. If she doesn’t feel like she is able to do this, it would hurt you, but you would understand if she chose not to be your MOH….then pick someone who won’t cause this much grief =)

Post # 4
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Yikes – well she should not worry about other people.  Sounds like she is worrying about herself, and projecting/assuming that all of the other guests agree with her.  Is her problem financial? Is the cruise expensive?  Can you afford to pay her way or do something to offset her costs, if that is the issue? otherwise, I would say to just proceed as planned and tell her you respect her decision, and say you enjoyed being there for her through her wedding process, but that you cannot change your plans because of her objections.  I would point out also that if she has objections, to state them from her point of view and not worry about the other guests (who sound like they’re on board). try to figure out where she’s coming from and then go from there. 

Post # 5
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

You are being treated poorly. You aren’t asking her to fly to Timbuktu, its just a half-day drive. I’m so sorry.

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i think your friend is being unfair and your wedding plans dont sound unreasonable. i hope you can tell her calmly why your plans are important to you and your FI and she comes around to the idea…maybe she has personal reasons for her being against it (money??)

 

Post # 7
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sorry, my initial reaction was “some best friend”, she’s your MOH/BFF and she won’t spend 5 hours driving to your wedding and that you are ‘forcing’ her? I’d tell her I was very disappointed in her reaction at the very least… have you asked her why she’s reacting this way when you did as she asked of you?

My apologies if I’m speaking out of turn. x

Post # 8
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

this is what I thought too, but I sugar coated it.  You never know though, this is a very recent event – maybe the MOH had a sh*tty weekend or big argument with her husband or something.  I say see about what the specific problem is, and if it’s still petty, then just move on. 

Post # 9
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Where would she prefer you to have it?  In Dallas?  Is she having some financial issues that she is worried about and not handling the right way?  I would sit down and get to the root of why she feels so strongly about how YOU and YOUR FI see yourself getting married….there is obviously something else going on here.

Post # 10
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Awww I’m sorry she’s not being supportive of your decision, but it is exactly that – YOUR decision. Well, you and your FI’s decision. Where you choose to marry is very personal and I don’t think you should let her change your decision, especially since she seems to be the only one that isn’t supportive. I think you should talk to her and basically give her an out if she doesn’t want to participate because it seems like she’s already being a pain in the butt about it. You’ve only been engaged for a week! Congrats, btw! Welcome to WeddingBee!

Post # 11
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

Eek…it sounds like she’s more concerned about what’s most convenient for her rather than what you want for your wedding day! Is it going to cost her an arm and a leg? Never forget that this is your day, and if anyone doesn’t like what you’re doing, they don’t have to come!

Post # 13
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Nothing to say but I’m so sorry 🙁 oh! and of course CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT! Happy Planning!

Post # 14
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I don’t think that you are asking too much.  The crusies out of Galveston are a few hundred bucks so not like you are asking a lot for a DW wedding.  And most of them are 3-5 days long. You may ask her if it is the money or the time spent away.  If it is the money maybe offer to let her wear a dress she already owns and use the money she’d spent on dress/shoes towards the cruise and your gift to her be the remainer.  I agree with the others I think she just doesn’t want to go on the cruise for whatever reason.  You need to do what is best for you and your family.  If she can’t make it then let her know that you understand and hope she changes her mind. 

Post # 15
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think if she has the option of just attending the ceremony (will the boat also be docked for the reception?) and she is still complaining than she is just being UNREASONABLE.  She is lucky she lives in the same area as you, because most brides have wedding party members in different states that have to fly in just for the festivities.  None of FIs groomsmen live within less than 6 hours of where our ceremony is and NO ONE is complaining.

She needs to make a decision about what is important to her, you or spending gas money to drive 4 hours…..and as for the long drive –she won’t be doing it all in one day, c’mon lady…If she’s really your friend, YOUR WEDDING will trump these small inconveniences.

Wow.  Wow.  Wow.

Post # 16
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Wow.  She and her husband “aren’t cruise people” so you ought to scrap your idea?  I know we’re all very careful on WB about not being Bridezilla but sometimes it is about you and it is okay to say “It’s my day.”  This is totally one of those times. 

If she doesn’t change her mind, maybe it would be better to have someone else as the MOH?  You’ve known her forever, but it seems as though she’s not going to be hugely helpful or supportive during the planning process, and is already thinking about YOUR wedding in terms of HER inconvenience.  If nothing else, it means a lot to have a smiling, joyful person around during this time – not a sourpuss.

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