Matron on Honor-ZILLA

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
8418 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

jchristy0407:  I can understand not wanting to pay for hair/make-up and not wanting to stay in the hotel the night before, but the rest of it sounds pretty unreasonable.  If she really is stressing you out that much, maybe ask her to step down?

Post # 4
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

If costs are an issue, why don’t you offer to pay for it or have them do their own? I would be upset if I had to choose one or both and not have the option of doing myself if I’m short on money. 

Who cares if she stays at the hotel, as long as she shows up at the salon or even the wedding ready to go?

when is your wedding? I wouldn’t ask her to step down based on those demands. I would try and offer to help or let her do her own hair, makeup and just be at the wedding. I think you are asking too much if she and her husband don’t think they can afford it.

You asked her to stand by your side for a reason. What is most important – having your friend at your side or demanding she spend money on hair or makeup and a hotel room?

Post # 6
Member
6859 posts
Busy Beekeeper

This mostly seems like much ado about nothing. If the worst she’s done is to offer to help any way she can and make a unsolicited suggestions about bare feet and updos,  it doesn’t sound so bad. Just tell her those things have already been decided. If she just  won’t let go of a topic tell her that you appreciate her input, but you have your own ideas and vision. 

She may not have “lied” at all about the hair and makeup.  It sounds to me as if she thought your demands were unreasonable and discussed the matter with the other  bridesmaids.  Even if they agreed with her, they may not admit it to you in order not to offend. The truth is that unless you are paying, you had no right to dictate either of those things. She did nothing wrong there. 

As for affording to have the MUA there, maybe it’s someone that she knows that will charge her less. You don’t have to allow her to bring her own MUA to the location, though.  She’d have to do it on her own time. 

Ditto to sleeping in your room overnight. You can invite her, though  I’d want to have some privacy and rest, but you can’t require or even expect it.  

The most she sounds is slightly annoying and over eager.  But from the way you describe her at least,  I think it’s over the top to ask her to step down over any of these things.   As for not getting back to you for a week, you have no clue what might have been going on in her life. She did apologize proactively,  which is a big point in her favor. 

Post # 7
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

jchristy0407:  I think before you ask her to step down, there are other steps you can take.

For one, have a serious heart to heart with her before you destroy your friendship – because asking her to step down probably will.

Outline (strongly) your ideas about YOUR wedding and this is how it’s going to be, i.e: your hair, being barefoot etc.

As far as the hair and make up, let her bring her own make up arist if that’s what she would like – for HER hair, or suggest she do her own. As for the hotel, if she doesn’t want to stay with you, that’s not a maid-zilla, that’s up to her. But suggest staying with you and explain it’s so you can all ride the next morning.

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