Post # 1
Does anyone who has a bridal party NOT have a Maid/matron of honor? And instead just have “bridesmaids”? I am having 4 bridesmaids, and I feel uncomfortable having any of them as the Maid of Honor. Two are my sisters and I can’t choose between the two to have a maid of honor…if u know what I mean. The other bridesmaid is too young, she is fiance’s little sis. My 4th bridesmaid is a friend from highschool, who’s always been there for me and kept in touch with me all this time… However, we aren’t best friends..we’re good friends, but we don’t see eachother often (due to proximity and just the business of our lives). I originally was going to ask my highschool friend to be the matron of honor, but now I feel uncomfortable asking her, because I don’t want it to be a burden on her. (Plus, I think she might think it’s weird since I wasn’t even a BM in her wedding, she had 8 BMs) I don’t want anyone having a responsibility of planning any parties for me…I would feel bad… I do know I need to have a Matron of honor to sign the marriage certificate, and give a speech, but I almost don’t want to designate a person the Matron of honor. I’m just really shy about these things, including asking people to be BMs, etc… My fiance said I had to have a Matron of honor…….but like I said, I just feel uncomfortable, although I do want one..I almost feel embarrassed to ask….and would feel guilty if I put an extra responsibility on someone….
Post # 3
My suggestion- leave them all as brides maid OR make your two sister Maids of Honor. There is nothing that says you cannot have two. I agree that asking the high school friend would be awkward. No reason your sisters cannot plan a speech together and flip a coin for who signs the certificate.
(just a note, you only need a witness to sign the marriage certificate, does not have to be a maid or matron of honor, and a speech is certainly optional. Many people have have MOH do not even have a speech/toast from that person)
Post # 4
I don’t have a maid/matron of honor!! I have 3 bridesmaids. FI has 5 groomsmen and no Best Man. Neither of us could decide who would get the honor so we just skipped it! We don’t want speeches/toasts so we aren’t concerned about that aspect either.
My really good friend (also a BM) was expecting the Maid of Honor title and was kind of put off that I don’t have one. But now its kind of a running joke that she is the “unofficial Maid of Honor”.
Post # 5
I do not have a maid of honour. I have two bridesmaids (my best friend and my fiance’s best friend) and he has a bestman (his brother). We are a lopsided wedding party, but we don’t care! 🙂
Post # 6
my cousins had like 4 bridesmaids and then BOTH her sister’s were Maids of Honor… they were escorted by his best man who was his brother.. it was cute. all 3 gave speeches.
Post # 7
I have four bridesmaids, none of which are designated as “maid of honor” – and FI has a best man! It’s not a big deal. Technically they’re all “of honor” since they’re the ones I asked to be a part of our day, right? Haha!
Post # 8
I originally had three bridesmaids and a maid of honor, but unfortunately the MOH could not make the wedding, so I just had three bridesmaids to my hubby’s four groomsmen (though he had a best man)
Post # 9
I refuse to pick favorites so I have three bridesmaids (two friends from high school, one from college). FH will have a best man and two groomsmen. We’re limiting speeches and will probably flip a coin for the witness (or use our officiant’s wife).
To determine walking order I’m going by height- one friend is significantly shorter than the rest so she is walking with the shortest guy, but my two other friends are exactly the same height, so whoever has the higher heels walks with the best man.
Post # 10
You do not have to have one. Your mom can sign the wedding certificate – or anyone you would like. Speeches – likewise.
I have a MOH but only an MOH, no one else, that worked for me, you should do what works for you.
Post # 11
I dont have a MOH. and Im a BM in a wedding with no MOH only BM’s.
Post # 12
I like the idea of making both of your sisters the maids of honor. There’s no set rule out there saying you can only have one or that you HAVE to have one. Is one of your sisters married and the other not? If that’s the case, one maid, one matron. If they’re both married or both not married, then have the older one sign the marriage certificate as the witness. Definitely do what works for you though…you certainly don’t need to have one if it makes you uncomfortable choosing!
Post # 13
I’d probably ask my sisters to share the responsibilities. They can both act as maids/matrons of honor. Its your wedding day, you can do whatever you wanna do. Having 2 might be good, it will allow each to be involved in the planning of events but not overwhelmed by it all.
Post # 14
I don’t have a maid or matron of honor. I refused to choose between them all so they’re all equal players in party planning and such. I’m having everyone stand in order that I’ve known them longest.
Post # 15
I agree with the PPs – either go without or have both of your sisters be MOHs. If I didn’t have a sister, and since I don’t have a best friend, I wouldn’t have a MOH either.
Post # 16
I don’t have a MOH. 5 bridesmaids… but I never asked any of them to be MOH. They are all stepping up and splitting responsibilities equally. My FI also has 5 attendants, but one of them is designated as the best man. I don’t really see this as a problem. We are going to pair the attendants according to who would get along the best, not “order of importance”.