Post # 1
I have already visited 3 different bridal stores. None of these stores had gowns that I wanted to take home. I have been with my mother to all stores and was disappointed. There was one dress whose bottom I loved but the top was too conservative for me. My mom believed I loved the gown and wanted it and then changed my mind. I have since told her that I wished I could alter it but then decided against spending that time and effort and decided to keep looking. I have an after hours appointment at another bridal shop this Wednesday. I am really hoping this is the place where I find my gown. But now my mother is saying that even if I absolutely love a gown, she won’t buy it right then and there. I need to sit on it for a week.
I am a bit annoyed. She is kind enough to buy my dress for me but I would know what I want. If I absolutely love something, I think I should be able to buy it and not sit on it for a week. I have done my research, pinned enough dresses on Pinterest to know exactly what I am looking for. Also, I think there is some charm about finding a dress and buying it then and there with your closest friends present (2 of my friends are going out of town for a good 6 months after my dress shopping). If there’s a dress that I want to purchase and I know I will purchase, I would rather just buy it then and there with everyone present! There is no other reason for her wanting me to wait. I have tried to explain to her that me loving that other dress and then not wanting it anymore was not due to me being fickle and indecisive but was due to me not wanting to go through trouble of altering it to fit my more glamorous/revealing style..
This shop has most of their dresses online. I have saved the images of the dresses they have that I like. Basically I know I will like something in their selection. I have $1,500 play money that I’m tempted to just spend then and there on the dress if there’s something I absolutely love. This store is small and well-priced. I really don’t know how quickly their things sell. I am wondering if I should use some of my $1,500 I would spend on other fun things on a dress my mom said she would buy. I just hate this principle and find it foolish. I probably would find this more reasonable had this been the first store I’ve been to.
What do you think/what would you do?
This topic was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by ruphiolis.
Post # 2
I can see why she wants to do things this way; it does make sense.
I guess if there was chance that waiting a week would mean I might not get the dress that I want, I would say that I would like to buy the dress as soon as possible. If there wasn’t a chance of not getting the dress because of waiting, I think I would wait and get the dress a week later.
Post # 3
If it’s your mom’s money, she gets to set the guidelines. Pay for it yourself if you absolutely have to have it right at that exact moment.
Post # 4
I have been to every other bridal store in my price range in my city. I basically have exhausted all other options.
Post # 5
Well you never know. If you find the dress you love, she might decide to just buy it. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait.
Post # 6
What do you want us to say? That you DESERVE to have the dress you want when you see it, and that your mom should pay for it? Again, if you find something you love, buy it with your own money.
Post # 7
If someone offered to buy my dress I would just wait one week unless it’s a sample or something that won’t be available in a week. I understand why it’s annoying that she set that guide line in place but I wouldn’t turn down the offer because of it.
Post # 8
Stick around and you will see how common dress regret posts are here. Your mom is being smart! A wedding dress is super expensive and usually can’t be returned. If you find the YES dress, why don’t you scream and cry and *put it on hold* for a week to satisfy your mom’s wishes? I am pulling this out of my butt, but I feel like most businesses that sell expensive items will do things like this, since they want your business and are not likely to be moving several $2000 dollar dresses of the same style every week anyhow. If the dress truly is the one and is on sale or something, in the moment, test your mom out and see if she will be swayed by the possibility of missing out on a great deal. Otherwise, I say just follow your mom’s rule and hopefully avoid the dreaded Dress Regret.
Post # 9
Based on the number of Bees posting about dress regret and buying more than one dress (myself included!), it’s not a bad policy. It’s very easy to get swept up in the emotional excitement and make an impulse purchase. I get that you want your Say Yes to the Dress moment with your friends, but you can have that shared excitement and still purchase the same dress a week later.
Post # 10
When you have parents who offer to pay for everything and then argue with you about the dress, cake tiers, center pieces, all because they aren’t picking their battles, it gets exhausting. I am not trying to be unappreciative but they offered to pay for it all and then some (because I am an only child) but are really making my fiance and I regret it. I think we will do it our way and pay for it ourselves.
Post # 11
I’m sorry, I agree with your mom. I think waiting a week and thinking about such an expensive (and often non-refundable) purchase is wise. If you still love the dress in a week and can’t stop thinking about it, then you will know for sure that it’s the right one. Bridal dress shopping can be overwhelming and emotional enough without adding in impulse shopping.
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
Pay for the wedding yourself so you can call all the shots.
Post # 13
ruphiolis: A week will go by in a flash, if you’re certain you love it you can still give it the big tick when you’re there with your friends and simply pay for it a week later. I can see where she’s coming from, it’s a big investment.
Are you purchasing it as is off the rack and taking it home immeadiately? If not, you’ll be making lots of trips back and forth for fittings etc. anyway and won’t see your actual dress for a while so whether you pay now or in a week won’t actually make a difference 🙂 I didn’t put the deposit on my dress the first time I decided it was the one and it hasn’t made the experience any less special!
Post # 14
Money often comes with strings. If you don’t want to argue with them, pay for everything yourself. Problem solved.
Post # 15
Unless you are talking about a sample sale or a discount off the rack purchase, I am not sure why or how dress would be sold out from under you. Don’t you have to order it anyway in most cases?
There is nothing that I find so much more charming or romantic about buying a dress the day you see it as opposed to waiting a week to look some more or be sure. TBH, I think you are just playing into the whole reality TV show a la Say Yes to the Dress mentality. In real life, plenty of brides want to be sure before putting down that kind of money. I think your mother has the smarter approach.
If you are considering counseling for issues ranging from your FI nor being excited about marriage to not thinking it is important to honor your wishes to threatening to leave if you drink again, I think your bigger issues are elsewhere. Truthfully, if I were the mom in this situation, forget the one week waiting period, I’d be encouraging you to postpone.