Mature enough to marry, not mature enough to know what dress (apparently)

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

I can see why she wants to do things this way; it does make sense.

I guess if there was chance that waiting a week would mean I might not get the dress that I want, I would say that I would like to buy the dress as soon as possible. If there wasn’t a chance of not getting the dress because of waiting, I think I would wait and get the dress a week later. 

Post # 3
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

If it’s your mom’s money, she gets to set the guidelines. Pay for it yourself if you absolutely have to have it right at that exact moment.

Post # 5
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Well you never know. If you find the dress you love, she might decide to just buy it. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait.

Post # 6
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

What do you want us to say? That you DESERVE to have the dress you want when you see it, and that your mom should pay for it? Again, if you find something you love, buy it with your own money. 

Post # 7
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

If someone offered to buy my dress I would just wait one week unless it’s a sample or something that won’t be available in a week. I understand why it’s annoying that she set that guide line in place but I wouldn’t turn down the offer because of it.

Post # 8
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Stick around and you will see how common dress regret posts are here. Your mom is being smart! A wedding dress is super expensive and usually can’t be returned. If you find the YES dress, why don’t you scream and cry and *put it on hold* for a week to satisfy your mom’s wishes? I am pulling this out of my butt, but I feel like most businesses that sell expensive items will do things like this, since they want your business and are not likely to be moving several $2000 dollar dresses of the same style every week anyhow. If the dress truly is the one and is on sale or something, in the moment, test your mom out and see if she will be swayed by the possibility of missing out on a great deal. Otherwise, I say just follow your mom’s rule and hopefully avoid the dreaded Dress Regret.

Post # 9
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

 Based on the number of Bees posting about dress regret and buying more than one dress (myself included!), it’s not a bad policy. It’s very easy to get swept up in the emotional excitement and make an impulse purchase. I get that you want your Say Yes to the Dress moment with your friends, but you can have that shared excitement and still purchase the same dress a week later.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  .
Post # 11
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I’m sorry, I agree with your mom. I think waiting a week and thinking about such an expensive (and often non-refundable) purchase is wise. If you still love the dress in a week and can’t stop thinking about it, then you will know for sure that it’s the right one. Bridal dress shopping can be overwhelming and emotional enough without adding in impulse shopping.

Post # 12
Member
5286 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Pay for the wedding yourself so you can call all the shots.

Post # 13
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

ruphiolis:  A week will go by in a flash, if you’re certain you love it you can still give it the big tick when you’re there with your friends and simply pay for it a week later. I can see where she’s coming from, it’s a big investment.

Are you purchasing it as is off the rack and taking it home immeadiately? If not, you’ll be making lots of trips back and forth for fittings etc. anyway and won’t see your actual dress for a while so whether you pay now or in a week won’t actually make a difference 🙂 I didn’t put the deposit on my dress the first time I decided it was the one and it hasn’t made the experience any less special!

Post # 14
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Money often comes with strings. If you don’t want to argue with them, pay for everything yourself. Problem solved.

Post # 15
Member
6900 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Unless you are talking about a sample sale or a discount off the rack purchase, I am not sure why or how dress would be sold out from under you. Don’t you have to order it anyway in most cases?

There is nothing that I find so much more charming or romantic about buying a dress the day you see it as opposed to waiting a week to look some more or be sure. TBH, I think you are just playing into the whole reality TV show a la Say Yes to the Dress mentality. In real life, plenty of brides want to be sure before putting down that kind of money. I think your mother has the smarter approach.

If you are considering counseling for issues ranging from your FI nor being excited about marriage to not thinking it is important to honor your wishes to threatening to leave if you drink again, I  think your bigger issues are elsewhere. Truthfully, if  I were the mom in this situation, forget the one week waiting period,  I’d be encouraging you to postpone.

 

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