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Maui Engagement Shoot/Fiance Tanning bed Question

posted 1 year ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: How does your man feel about tanning beds?
    He hates them and would never go. : (23 votes)
    64 %
    He tans all the time! : (0 votes)
    He has gone to one to prepare for vacations in the sun. : (10 votes)
    28 %
    Other, explain. : (3 votes)
    8 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    808 posts
    Busy bee
    Mrs.LilyLunaLove    July 7, 2012   Midwest

    Ladies,

    I'm just so excited I don't think I'll be able to sleep for hours!!!!! My family is taking a trip to Maui, Hawaii in May and bringing Fiance along. It's kind of a last minute trip with relatives and I got this crazy idea to take some engagement shots there professionally! Well, I'm pretty sure I've found the photographer, they are available for the date I want, and things are just falling into place beautifully! We live no where near the ocean so engagement pics like this sound like a dream come true!

    So, we will be taking the pics a few days after we arrive. Currently Fi and I are still very pasty from the winter and I really want to go tan a few times at a salon to get a base coat tan to prevent "lobster-like" sunburn. (been there, done that, vacation spent in the shade not the sun)  I also want Fi to tan a little too because he tends to burn easily as well. However, I know he does NOT like or agree with tanning beds for health reasons...but I think it would be a good idea for us to both go together and get a little base tan to protect ourselves from the sun frying our winter-white skin. Fi is a guy's guy and wouldn't want to be caught dead in a tanning salon...so how can I get him to go with me? Anyone tackled this before? Maybe before going on a tropical honeymoon or something?

    Advise would be great because I know his first reaction will be, "absolutely not," and I really don't want to argue about it or force him to go tan because I'm so excited about this engagement shoot opportunity and don't want anything to spoil it like red splotchy sun burned skin...on either of us.

     
    2.
    Member
    523 posts
    Busy bee
    mrsawesome09    June 5, 2011   Madison, WI

    It's just my opinion, but if he hates them for health reasons - definitely a valid reason to avoid them - I'd just leave him alone about it.  I've been tanning before, we have it free at our apartment complex, and FI has considered doing it a few times before the wedding, but I'd never force him to.  If your e-pics will be within the first few days you'll be there, just have him wear lots of sun screen so he doesn't turn red.

     
    3.
    Member
    2,055 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Miss Godiva    June 1, 2012   California

    My FI would never use a tanning bed for health reasons, too, and I wouldn't want to force him into something he didn't want to do. But I do understand your concern for the lobster tan! I've gotten many a sunburns on vaca :/

    But - what about a compromise? Do you have a spray tan salon anywhere near you? It might be a little more than a regular bed, but no rays, so a win-win. They last like 4-7 days, so maybe he could get one the day of or before you leave, and by the time you're a few days in, he'll have a natural looking glow :) I spray tan all the time and love it!

     
    4.
    Member
    361 posts
    Helper bee
    Luckygir15    July 9, 2011  

    Ask him to try a bed out...you never know, he might love the relaxing warm feeling of just laying in bed. Who knows!

    My FI will start a few times in a couple months (Not sure if HE knows that yet, lol)

     
    5.
    Member
    2,665 posts
    Sugar bee
    bookworm88    August 4, 2012  

    I can't even imagine my SO laying in a tanning bed, but he couldn't care less if I went!

     
    6.
    Member
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    CookieBee    June 30, 2012  

    tanning in a tanning bed is safer than doing so in the sun because of the type of ultra violet rays that penetrate your skin. Tell him to tan in a bed that gives off UVA rays as opposed to UVB. i know this i used to work at a tanning salon back when i was in college. i'm was very "jersey shore" at one point in my life lol

     
    7.
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    Bee
    626 posts
    Busy bee
    biscuit    July 30, 2011  

    @CookieBee:Actually, UVA rays exacerbates the damage of UVB rays and many studies show that UVA rays directly cause melanomas.  By tanning in the sun, you get the UVB rays that burn you, telling you you've had too much.  You don't have that in tanning beds, but just because you don't burn doesn't mean that you're not doing damage.  Also, these UVA rays are 2 to 3 times more powerful than what you get from the sun.

    As for needing UVA for Vitamin D production, UVA rays penetrate through windows, so unless you're in a basement during daylight hours, you're often getting some dose of UVA (at least on your commute).  Studies have not shown conclusive evidence as to which is worse (tanning beds or the sun).

    I don't mean to sound all uppity about it, I just didn't want someone to get on here and think that UVA rays are just fine when they aren't.

    Doing it once or twice won't kill your FI or make him a bag of wrinkles, but please don't force him to do something he doesn't want to do.  Especially one that if done often could compromise his health.  Also, if he's fairly pale, you should realize that he may blister or burn in the bed, which would probably not be too attractive in photos.  It's a Catch 22-which sucks.

     
    8.
    Member
    499 posts
    Helper bee
    CrystalBlackheart    September 10, 2011  

    @Mrs.LilyLunaLove: Burning is much more worse on the skin than getting a base tan which can prevent burns which can lead to skin cancer.  However tanning beds are also really bad for you.  Like the PP poster said, UVA rays that tanning beds use are much stronger than the suns rays.

    Most tanning salons should have different beds of different strengths and you should consult with your doctor who could give you reasonable information.

     
    9.
    Member
    5,129 posts
    Bee Keeper
    organizedbride11    November 11, 2011   Illinois

    I wouldnt make him do it expecially if hes against it. You can get your base thats fine but I wouldnt force him..

     
    10.
    Member
    2,570 posts
    Sugar bee
    Wonderstruck    September 18, 2011   Detroit, MI

    The whole idea of getting a base tan so the sun won't affect you as much is honestly bs, it's just as harmful. If you want to prevent sunburn make him apply sunscreen often, but there is no way you should try to cinvince him to put his health in danger. If my FI suggested I tan I would be very very offended, and basically see it the same as asking me to smoke a cigarette cuz he thinks it looks cool, despite the cancer factor. Just don't do it.

     
    11.
    Member
    5,247 posts
    Bee Keeper
    cbee    July 26, 2010  

    @Wonderstruck:  I agree.

    Wear sunscreen or protective clothing and stay out of the sun.  Tanning beds are awful for you, and in tanning in general.  I think it went out of style with nude panty hose.

     
    12.
    Member
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    CookieBee    June 30, 2012  

    @biscuit: you're absolutely right. i guess what i was trying to say was that tanning is safer in a tanning salon than in the sun because it's a controlled amount of uva rays rather than getting them in a heavy amount like when you're in the sun at the beach. either way none of it is really safe in the long run. i haven't tanned in years and if anything i'd just hit up the spray tan

     
    13.
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    147 posts
    Blushing bee
    NJForever    November 19, 2011  

    I think that because he has health concerns about it, you have to be sensitive to that and let him decide for himself. I won't use a tanning bed because skin cancer runs in my family.. I'd rather be less tan with unwrinkled skin than tan with wrinkled skin when I'm older (my opinion because of my family's skin type. not saying everyone with a tan has wrinkled skin or skin cancer.) If he isn't going to tan though, then you probably shouldn't either, that way he doesn't stick out like a sore thumb in the e-photos for being "so white". I think you should both just use a high SPF so you can still enjoy the sun when you get there, but don't force the tanning bed thing on him. Plus, if you both usually aren't that tan, it may look unnatural if all of a sudden your e-photos are super tan. You may just want to look more like yourselves. Good luck!

     
    14.
    Member
    808 posts
    Busy bee
    Mrs.LilyLunaLove    July 7, 2012   Midwest

    Woah, I never saw how many posts turned up here. Thanks for all your opinions and concerns. We both ended up going to a tanning salon a few times just to get a base...which in FI's case wasn't very much at all because, as I learned on our trip, he really doesn't tan much at all and his skin is very different than mine. But there were no lobster effects, aka sunburn, so all is well that ends well. He said he'd go tan a few times but that NO ONE could know about it, haha. Then he just worried about someone we knew seeing him there. Anyway, we both looked very natural for the engagement pictures and used SPF constantly all vacation. All in all a wonderful trip and needless worry on my part.

     

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