(Closed) May 2017 POAS

posted 4 months ago in TTC
Post # 137
Member
450 posts
Helper bee

FutureMrsGrabs :  No, I never did get any testing done. My doctor didn’t really seem concerned and just stressed that miscarriages happen and are more common than I realize. I do wish that I would have asked to get progesterone checked! I’m just going to try to trust my body and if this isn’t my cycle then maybe I will ask for testing. 

Also, for anyone who saw my earlier post about how I was annoyed with SIL who is 11 weeks pregnant…. I am feeling so guilty for venting about that because she had her first ultrasound a couple days ago and the doc told her the sac is the size it should be, but they aren’t seeing development. 🙁 I feel just terrible for her and terrible for being selfish and complaining! I just had to get that off my chest. Poor thing!

Post # 139
Member
554 posts
Busy bee

tm6173 :  I didn’t get any further testing done either. I went to see my OBGYN on Wednesday and we discussed further testing and she said we could do it now but she doesn’t think there are any issues and that I should wait so we decided to wait. I have a good feeling about this cycle but we’ll just have to see I guess. 

I’m so sorry about your SIL. Is the baby not viable or she doesn’t know yet? That’s terrible for her. There is nothing you or she could’ve done that would’ve caused this so try not to feel too bad. When I was going through my MC and my friend announced her pregnancy I was so upset I said some terrible things about her to my husband, but I didn’t mean them, and I wouldn’t wish having a MC on my worst enemy. We all have terrible feelings  that we don’t mean. All you can do is be there for her right now. 

MsGinkgo :  I read a statistic that said something like 75% of early pregnancies end in MC so it’s likely that’s what it was. I’ve been pretty open about my MC because there is so much silence around it. It wasn’t until it happened to me that a lot of my friends opened up about theirs. 

Post # 140
Member
554 posts
Busy bee

lucky_charm :  My seach history is the weirdest haha! 

MsGinkgo :  It looks like you BD just in time, FX so much for you!

piperpoppy :  I think the EWCM before the OPK is a good sign because you should actually BD in the 5 days before O, ideally the 3 days before O so that the sperm can make their way into your reproductive tract and be waiting for the egg. I track CM and cervical position but I also use OPKs. I’ve found that I get a couple surges of EWCM and then the two days before O it’s usually watery (sorry if that’s TMI) and then I get a positive OPK 12-24 hours before I ovulate. I like to know when I’m ovulating so I’ll use OPKs and temp but we try to BD whenever we see fertile quality CM, I don’t think you can go wrong doing that whether you’re using OPKs or not. 

Post # 142
Member
554 posts
Busy bee

MsGinkgo :  For me, the silence around miscarriages just made me feel more lonely and isolated than anything else so that’s why I decided to be open about it. I still don’t know if we’ll annouce until the 2nd trimester to the world at large though. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how I feel. 

Post # 144
Member
554 posts
Busy bee

MsGinkgo :  That’s a great plan! Most everyone in our families know we’re TTC although I’ve told them we’re taking a couple months off so hopefully that will get rid of some of the pressure. I know people are watching me and waiting to see if I can drink to tell if I’m pregnant or not. I’ll probably try to keep it a secret for a little while but we’ll see how it goes. 

Post # 145
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

I completely relate to the isolation one feels during a miscarriage. I’d had the mirena in for about 3 years and was on the depo shot for years before that. I was very very vocal about not wanting to have any more children. Then surprise! We were so shocked we didn’t tell anyone. We had only found out we were pregnant about a week or so before I started bleeding. Therefore, only he and I know about the pregnancy and miscarriage. 

 

The craziest thing is how quickly I fell in love with the opportunity to have a child with my husband (we both have kids from previous relationships but none together). I went from never wanting more kids to dreaming of a baby with him in a heart beat. 

 

When I did some research on miscarriages, I was also amazed at how common they really are. I believe I read that 1 in 4 confirmed pregnancies end in miscarriages. What really got me was what the doctor said when they confirmed the miscarriage. She was empathetic of course, but ended with “You can always try again”. As in, it happens all the time and there’s no reason you can’t give it another shot. No caution, no worries, no real reason this happened. So here we are, actively TTC 😊

 

Post # 147
Member
450 posts
Helper bee

MsGinkgo :  I know you’re right, I never wished for anything to not go perfectly! I’m trying to not beat myself up about it. 

FutureMrsGrabs :  it sounds like the doctor told her after ultrasound he does not believe the pregnancy is viable, but he was surprised that she hadn’t had any cramping or bleeding. Do they checked her HCG Wednesday and today and will go over results next Wednesday. Idk why they have to wait so long, I would go crazy! She did tell me that her Wednesday HCG was 22,300, which at 11 weeks is on the lower end I think. The sac is measuring at 9w5d, but when she asked the doctor if there was a baby in the sac he was standoffish and said they would know more next week…. so it’s a little up in the air right now for them. 🙁

i agree with what everyone is saying about the silence around miscarriage! I literally hid out in my house and took a week off of work when I had mine. I didn’t speak to anyone but my husband and my mom and lied to all my coworkers and said I was super sick. It felt like a dirty secret and I hated that feeling. 

Post # 150
Member
554 posts
Busy bee

aebe14 :  I am SO, SO sorry for your loss. I was shocked too about the statistics around miscarriages. I knew that they happened but for me I had a lot of magical thinking around “something like that would never happen to me”. I’ve always been really healthy and never imagined that I would get pregnant and would end up with anything other than a baby.

tm6173 :  That is so heartbreaking. Especially since she got to 11 weeks and then found out, I imagine that would make it much worse. I can’t believe she has to wait that long! I’d want an answer if there was a fetus in there and if it had a heartbeat, etc. She’s lucky she has you to talk to about this. Sending your family good thoughts. 

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