- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I'm really torn. I love it here at wedding bee, but I think I may need to say goodbye to all of you girls. Here is my reason why.
I told someone about wedding bee. I love it here so much and figured since she was planning a wedding too, that she would find it really helpful here, just as I have. Well, my good intentions backfired.
I have posted a couple vents about people and my bridal party. But thats all they are, vents. I just need to get some things off my mind to clear my head and keep moving forward. They don't mean anything, nothing I even need to talk to my bridal party about. I just need to vent.
This girl I told about wedding bee showed some of my bridal party these vents. It ended up not being a big deal, as we talked about it and worked everything out just fine, but it is really frustrating. I love the fact that I can come here, tell my thoughts and feelings to an unbiased 3rd party, and have you guys help me look at it all from a different perspective and calm me down. I feel like anything and everything I post on here now, she will see and tell people.
I don't know what to do. I love it here and want to continue talking and sharing ideas and stories and such, but I just feel like have to monitor everything I write. So, it may be time for me to say goodbye, even though I don't want to. I am so frustrated that I even talked to my FI about it! :)
So, I am asking for advice once again hive. What do I do?!
Hmmm that majorly bites. I am definitely not an advocate of changing names etc, but in this case I probably would change my name or ask administrators if at all possible you can have a name change due to privacy issues (i don't think that they can do it, but who knows, all they can say is no, you know?). But I don't like it when anyone leaves the hive, I feel as though you are my friend so you have to stay :P LMBO!!
Oh no she didn't! You are staying. Change your profile name, be mindful of what you post so there are no direction connections to you and stay around the hive. It's a shame because she will soon realize that sometimes you need to vent about your wedding party and in no way is it to be mean... you just need a release.
I agree. I wish you wouldn't go, and I'm most concerned that this girl- not in your BP- showed the posts to them. I would question HER more than the bee! If you need to change your name, do it... but stay with us! No one else on the bee will judge you or tell your BP! Promise :)
Some people just love to stir up trouble. It sucks for you but don't let her get the best of you! Change names if you have to but don't leave. I would hate for you to have to give up such a great resource because of someone else's bad behavior. And take solace in knowing karma will take care of it eventually!
wow, I can't believe all the friend/fellow bride drama I see on here...people need to grow up! Though, this is why I purposely stay anonymous and haven't posted any pics...I need to be able to vent! Of course if you knew me and read my posts in order, you'd know it's me...but not likely to happen. ;)
I hope you don't leave WB over this.
some people just create new user names when they need to write a post about something annonymous. Good luck. That must have been a truly uncomfortable situation, but I'm glad you were able to work through it.
Wow! How obnoxious. (I hope she is reading this right now cause girlfriend... that move wasn't cool).
I say change your name - you've gotten a lot and given a lot of support through Bee.. don't leave
Maybe you could just start a new account and reacquire anonymity. I wouldn't give up WB, I would just start a new account that she didn't know. Even, as PP mentioned - if you just set up an account for vents only.
That's a really hateful, back-stabbing thing to do. I sincerely hope you don't leave WB because of it. Sometimes, venting is just venting, and if you don't let it out, you'll explode. Talk to the admins about changing your username. If they can do it when someone becomes a Blogging Bee, perhaps they can make it work for you, too.
I was actually wondering about this yesterday, as I've begun to refer some people to this site.
Question - Did you tell her your name on WB?
I would probably do a name change, b/c we do love you here and you've commented on some of my questions and shed some light on things for me!!
Get a name change or a new account and come back bigger, better and stronger than ever girl! It bites that a friend did that - especially as we all do that about our weddings from time to time. This is exactly why I haven't referred anyone yet though - I love WeddingBee and I quite like my divide between WB and my real life and don't quite want them to mesh yet.
Oh wow, that's actually why I don't suggest WB to my friends.. b/c I come here to vent and be way more honest than I would in real life. I also think you should get a new profile and start over!
But even if you changed your name, your old posts would show up under that new username... and since she has the URLs of your posts from before, it'd be pretty easy for her to find your new username!
I like the idea to create a secondary username for when sharing more private posts... it's really the only way to guarantee anonymity.
Don't leave! I think we all vent about our FIs, families and friends on here, so you are not in the minority. Just make a new username for any vents/sensitive posts, and use your regular one for everything else.
I'm a big fan of facing problems head on, not running away from them...so I would just stay! I would also keep posting under my username, and just be more aware of what I'm posting in the future & hopefully there won't be any more problems with ths person and their big mouth.
I, too, suggest creating a second username! You could use rosie girl for the majority of your posts or your non emotional posts and then you could use your 2nd name for posts that involve other people or that you think others might be offended by if they found out. Please dont leave!!!
No rosie girl don't go! Use a 2nd username and hope all goes undetected. So sorry to hear that, too bad your good intentions were used against you. But really you have great posts, and contribute so much, don't go.
Well shes going to see this post....so just stay. If you worked through your "issues" per se, it doesnt matter. If you feel like you need to vent, just make up a new user name with a fake yahoo email account. Then no one would be the wiser. Put in a different location.
But I agree with Lillindy-I wouldnt change it. Don't worry karma is a bitch and it will get her for it backfiring on you. She will soon learn that she will need a place to vent about her own wedding and then she will have a better understanding of what you said and why you said it.
Stay, don't go :)
me again..Just wanted to share this quote. I think I am going to post it to all Bee's posts who say they want to leave because of situations like this and situations like Layla's
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." by Eleanor Roosevelt
Not this this friend is making you feel inferior per se, but you can't let her dictate on how you are suppose to vent your feelings, fraustrations.
Sometimes its just better to get advice from people that are removed from certain situations.
two things.
1) re: the girl- "when people show you who they are, believe them." - maya angelou (i think? also-- sp?)
2) I kind of feel like the damage is done. I don't think that you can "delete" and account here and take away all your prior posts, so anything that you've put out there in the world is there to stay and if this girl is going to show it around-- wow that sucks-- but you leaving isn't going to help. For the future.. I think we all make a choice when we come into situations like this. We can stay totally and carefully anonymous and say whatever we please, or we can open ourselves up to discovery and be a little more careful. I chose the latter and two people from my "real" life have recognized me from here and contacted me. Lucky for me-- I came into this realizing that someone from real life would probably see my posts some time so I don't say anything that I wouldn't say to most people in real life. I think moving forward you should stick around and just be more careful about what you post. If you really need to vent, use another sn.
This is imho no different than the facebook issues we've seen before!
If somebody can find you, they can read what you've written.
I do second creating a whole new username. In the meanwhile, I'd work to mend the relationship with my friends.
That was not a very friendly thing for her to do! Goodness, why are people sucking more?
Stay, keep posting, and if you need to vent, vent under another name.
Was this post helpful? Probably not, hahaha, seeing as I just repeated what everyone else was saying. BUT I want you to stay! 
Wow. This is exactly why I haven't shared Wedding Bee with my bride friends. While I feel guily that they may never find it, I kind of think of this as my sanctuary. To invite someone into your sanctuary and for them to betray you, is a HUGE trespass. I wouldn't leave. Stand your ground. You were here first.
As far as the girl...Personally, I wouldn't want to associate with someone who could be so petty and underhanded and if she wants to be so bogus she can take a stroll over to the Knot. 
Ok, that was snarky--I apologize. I had a moment.
I admire that even though this girl took your gift of WB for granted, you didn't strike back by exposing her in return. You're clearly mature and thoughtful. If you feel the need to post vents under another name, it wouldn't be a big deal. Lots of people do it. You need a place to clear your head.
I'm sorry this happened to you. As someone who has also vented (yesterday in fact) about my bridal party, I would hate if my ability to vent and gain perspective from the wonderful bees was compromised. Mr. Bee has a great idea. A second username might be the way to go.
Rosie don't leave! The girl obviously needs to grow up and stop stiring the pot. WB is a place for brides and future brides to come and vent about wedding related things, and some of those things sadly include problems with bridal parties. Have you confronted this pot stiring Bee about her rude bee-havior? I would want to know why she is intent on basically it seems to me, turning your BMs against you. Is she jealous of you? If I were you I would create a new account and the people you chatted with the most know your new identity but keep it secret from others so the bad bee won't ever find out.
how dare she share your posts with those other people! BAD friend! BAD! i'd change your name- don't leave us! We like you here! :) Also, this is exactly no one at all knows about this site outside my FI.
Nope, sorry, you're not allowed to leave.
There, problem solved
what child like actions on her part. I definitely don't think you should leave the hive. We will miss and that will make us sad. But seriously, don't give her that kind of satisfaction but that is definitely a tough pickle to be in...I am sorry
Yeah, not only get a second account, if you need t ovent, but make little switches to your story that would throw them off. If you're having 3 Bms, say 4. Or make up a different venue setting. (As long as it's not pertinent to your topic.) If it's your cousin, just say friend or SIL, or vice versa.
I agree that in this situation, the best route would be to get a new account, and change minor details (like @tanya says above). I don't want you to leave, though.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. One of my friends found out who I was on weddingbee (I've told everyone about it because I love it so much!), and while I don't have many vents on here, I do have things I wouldn't necessarily run around telling my friends. It's not enough for me to change accounts, but if I could have changed my name, I would.
As the other bees have said, we'd hate to see you go. But maybe when you need to "Vent" do it on another more anonymous account (ala what Mr. Bee said) so you don't have to worry about it. But I'm so sorry that person did that to you.
just change the name and make sure you dont get too specific on locations and things that can be identifiers - no biggie. i had a fleeting thought about this when i told a few folks about this site, but ive never cared too much on what folks thought about me so if someone sees my vent its probably a good thing LOL
but seriously change the name and stay - i can definately say this site has saved me from losing it a few times when friends or family dont understand.
that's terrible!! seriously!! who does that? i hope you stay cuz I friggin adore you.
That is so wrong, but please don't go, especially like this. I know you don't want to have any regrets, but it goes both ways--don't do something because you feel forced by someone else's actions. Everything happens for a reason. Although awkward, it may actually be a good thing that your vent came out, so it could be resolved. Meanwhile, do what you need to do to feel comfortable, like create a second account. But definitely don't let this incident make you feel like you have to leave.
I definately think you should stay. If your friend is truly that, she will respect your freedom to express your frustrations/opinions/questions & whatever else online, hopefully as she would do in real life. You shouldn't be made to feel that you need to run away or operate under an alias just to be able to post here. That's crappy. It was kind of you to point out WB to this person in hopes that she could benefit from our community, your heart was in the right place, and I definately understand why you feel violated.
Like the others, I hope you will decide to stay regardless of the situation. If it would help you to create a new account, so as to not feel as if you're being stalked by a spy, by all means do so. Just don't leave entirely! You are a kind & caring voice here in the hive & it would be sad if you left.
I recently made the mistake of telling friends to come to the Bee. I just love the site so much I wanted to share! But then when I started posting, I thought "wow, it would bevery easy for Sally, Mary, Jenny, blahblah, and blahblah to figure out who I am" I didn't really want them knowing the personal things I post here, regarding my dress, my budget, etc, etc... I registered under a new username and used fewer idenitiying factors. I have to say, it's not as much fun. I don't feel as honest. But in your situation, I'd definitely change usernames. Please don't leave us for good.
Thank you girls. You have all helped a lot, and I think you are right. I'm going to stay (yay! I love it here to much!) and when I need to vent or something, I will create a new name. Thank you! :)
Don't leave! I love the hive more so for the outside perspective on everything. If you're having issues with your bridal party, you need somewhere to vent and ask if anyone else has been through it before. Just get a new user name and you should be fine.
Funny story...My fiance and I have been contemplating where to hold our rehearsal dinner. He knows I'm on this site far too much so he said, "Why don't you ask it on your blog thing?". He understands that its more about talking to people who are in the same boat as you than complaining or anything like that.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Rojocameo | 16 |
| Rivendeler | 15 |
| Suikerbossie | 9 |
| kat2014 | 8 |
| Future Mrs K | 8 |
| ellisrobertson | 8 |
| lionskitty | 7 |
| keranos | 7 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 7 |
| couawilou | 6 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| NotAnotherAnonBee | 2 |
| Sasha2011 | 1 |
| redheadem | 1 |
 sylvia.riggle |
1 |
| shychigirl | 1 |
| Future Tompkins | 1 |
