Post # 1
I haven’t been talking about this on the boards for fear of jinxing it, but I have been job hunting recently, as I will be graduating from college in one week (eee!). I interviewed last month for my dream job and I honestly felt like I hit a home run with the interview. I felt like I would be an absolute perfect fit and was really excited.
Today, I got an email from them saying that, basically they were very impressed with me but that they hired someone else who was available immediately. His exact words were, “I probably would have hired you if you had been available sooner.” He went on to say that they may have enough work to bring me on in July-when I am available-but that there is a 50/50 chance and that if “another desirable position” is offered to me, he suggests I take it.
Well, the reason I am not available right after graduation is because we are getting married in June. When we decided this, I knew I would give up summer job opportunities but I never expected something like this to happen, and to be honest I am really upset. I am finding myself resenting the wedding. I said to FI, “I just really wanted to walk across the stage at graduation knowing I had this job,” and he said, “Well, you know you are getting married, and not many people can say that.” Okay, yes, and that is wonderful – but this is about me, my ambitions and aspirations, and I feel like they have been shortchanged because of the wedding.
Logically, I should be glad they were so complimentary and be confident that I will get another job. But right now I am just sulking and still really wanting THIS job. FI says I should keep pursuing it until they basically turn me away if I feel that strongly about it – after all, the guy said there was a 50/50 chance, and he even said he hopes I would be available in that case. But I don’t want to get my hopes up again, only be disappointed all over again.
Am I the only one whose career ambitions have been shortchanged because of wedding timing??
Post # 3
Why are you not available until after the wedding? Why couldn’t you start the job right away? I think we’re missing some details….
Post # 4
I wouldn’t get too upset about it and I certainly wouldn’t start resenting your wedding! MANY places look for immediate placement especially if they are in the interviewing stage. There are some places that do future hires, but theres also a possibility that they needed a person to start before you’d even graduated. About a month before I graduated I was offered a position to start, I was ecstatic! but then they realized I didn’t officially have a degree so they hired someone else, talk about a buzzkill!!! If you did that great in your interview to get all those compliments I’m sure you’ll be able to find another equally great opportunity! Good Luck!
Post # 5
i turned down a job offer because of the wedding. my current job is just so-so, so i had an interview and offer right after we got engaged. problem was—no vacation time for a YEAR. that meant i couldnt visit my family in ohio for wedding stuff, cant take time off for anything wedding related at all, and would have to postpone the honeymoon by at least a month. my fiance and i analyzed it to death, and eventually realized that in 5 years, i will regret not being able to enjoy the engagement & wedding stuff more, and that i wouldn’t likely stay at that job for 10 years anyway. it was a hard decision, but it was really hard to make. i know how you feel!!
Post # 6
@DemoDreamer: I’m sorry I didn’t explain it more clearly. I am graduating this weekend and going back home (TN) for 4 weeks to help my mom prepare for the wedding. I have been planning from out of town for almost a year now so I need to be there this last month. Then, after the wedding we have planned a week-long honeymoon, and then I am moving in with FI in MD, where this job is.
@june42011: Thanks for your kind words. I know in my mind that this means I should be more confident going into future interviews, but I am just really frustrated that I COULD have had this job if it hadn’t been for timing.
@blondeeebuckeye: That’s what I keep telling myself – that I will always remember how special this wedding was, but that there will always be other job. I guess I just want to have it all! It’s frustrating because FI has a job he loves, and he gets to enjoy the wedding and honeymoon, but because of the timing of my graduation, I will have to sacrifice some in the career department for the wedding.
Post # 7
You can’t cry over spilled milk you know? They’ve already hired someone else, so that just means that some bigger, better, brighter opportunity is waiting out there for you!
I am a huge believer in “Everything is Predestined” I don’t mean to get preachy, but I truly believe that God knows our path from the moment we are born. Many of my fellow classmates in my graduate program (who are less qualified, less enthusiastic, and have lower test scores than me) have gotten elementary school jobs in the area. I have applied everywhere and I can’t even get an interview! It is very frustrating, but I am telling myself that God has a bigger better plan for me, and that *my* job is out there waiting for me.
I believe that the job you are *meant* to have is waiting for you! Enjoy these last few weeks of planning and be comforted by the fact that job was not meant to be yours.
Post # 8
You may not want to hear this, but I don’t see why you need to be at home the whole month before the wedding. I’ve also planned my entire wedding from all the way across the country and I’m not going to be home until the week before the wedding (and could be home for even less time than that if vacation time forced me to do so).
It was your personal choice to go home for a month after graduation – certainly not a necessary thing. Sure it will be nice to be with family for that time and help your mom but you don’t HAVE to be there. That choice lost you a job opportunity – such is life.
But it does sound like the interviewers were quite complementary of your and your resume so I’m sure other opportunities will come along. Good luck with your future interviews!
Post # 9
I agree with TEXASLAWGIRL!!! You never know, that job may be waiting for you when you are actually available to work. Or there may be something better for you. Who knows, but God. About a year ago I was in a situation that I worked hard not to put myself in. But I am now begining to see why I was taken down that path and seeing that bigger and better things are headed my way. And I am glad that things didn’t work out as I had orginally planned.
Post # 10
I’m sorry about that. Unfortunately, a lot of companies that interview want you to start right away. You might want to wait until after you come back from the wedding if you can afford it since you might not get something that will wait for you to start until a month later. It’s so tough right now to find a job, I hope you find something.
Post # 11
Aww, I’m sorry, hun. But, oh well, it’s all been said and done, so I would try to move on and redirect your focus to the wedding.
In all honestly, despite what others have said, I think you made a good choice to go home after graduation and spend time with your family. Not that I was planning a wedding or anything, but one of my only regrets in life (not so much a regret, but you know … )is I wish I had taken some time off college. Instead, I immediately went to work for what I thought was a great job, and I ended up quitting nine short months later because it was hell. I was just so knew to the corporate world that most jobs sounded amazing to me for the most part. After college graduation, you have a wonderful opportunity to relax a bit and enjoy that time with your family. Take advantage of it.
After the wedding, you can always get in touch with the guy and ask more about that 50/50 chance of getting hired. If it doesn’t work out, something else will come along 🙂 It always works out in the end and you can’t dwell on these “what if?” situations … you’ll drive yourself crazy over something you don’t really have any control over!
Post # 12
I agree with FutureKMM. You made the choice to say you couldn’t start till after your wedding. While it might be convienient to take a month off for wedding planning. Honestly; that’s a luxury not a need to do. If I had a job interview for my DREAM job. I would tell them I could start as soon as they needed me and made my arrangements around my job. To me a Dream job would have been worth post poning my honeymoon for a year. But that’s me.
Post # 13
I would be incredibly upset also and would probably be kicking myself in the butt. Employers want prospective employees to bend over backwards for them and it’s really inconvenient sometimes. I know that unless someone is an AMAZING candidate with lots of specialized experience, they are easily replacable and we hire someone who fits OUR schedule and it really sucks for the person interviewing. But whatever happens, it somehow wasn’t meant to be, just keep reminding yourself that. So, you never know, just try not to get too hung up on it. I know many people who worked all the way up to a few days before their weddings b/c they recently graduated and/or hadn’t accrued vacation time because they were in the same position as you. If having the time off to plan your wedding is more important, it is what it is.
I would DEFINITELY follow up with the interviewer, let him know you would be interested in any future opportunities, and when mid-July rolls around, casually send him an email inquiring about a position.
And, hit up some job fairs in the area!
Post # 14
Thanks for the encouragement, everyone!
To those who said I should have been available immediately: it was very important to my mom that I come home for that month. As she’s footing the bill and has really gone above and beyond this past year, I knew that honoring my family in that way was more important than a job. Also, I would have to take a lot of time off to make it back to TN for my shower, dress fitting, brother’s high school graduation, the weekend of the wedding, and our already booked honeymoon, and I felt like it would be unprofessional to take a job and expect to take time off.
Miss Chapstick, I appreciate what you said because right now it is easy for me to doubt my choice to go home before the wedding, but I know in the end it is more important than this job, even though it is my dream job!
I emailed him back and in a nutshell, I told him I hope we can work something out for July or even in the fall, and that I will remain optimistic as I feel I would be a great fit. He responded quickly saying he will keep me in the loop and that the fall “could be a very opportune time”, so I have not lost all hope. I will continue to apply for other jobs though!
Post # 15
If I was in your situation, I would change my plans so I could start right away. Maybe take off a couple of days before the wedding and a week for the honeymoon (or even change honeymoon plans if possible). But show your commitment to the job by offering to start as soon as you graduate. Maybe you wouldn’t have time to do all the DIY projects or the pretty details you planned on, but I think your wedding would still be amazing. And you would have a dream job, which is, in the long term, more important than the small details of your wedding.
Post # 16
@GirlWithARing: I certainly considered that, but it is too late. They already hired someone else for the position, and they said they would only be able to hire me if they brought on a new client in the near future (that’s the 50/50 chance). I also think its really important for me to spend time with my family before I move across the country, as I said before, so I am going to try to be at peace with it.