(Closed) May HAVE to move up the wedding… downer..

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m so so sorry to hear about this difficult time in your lives!

I know the wedding is supposed to be a happy time free of stress, but often there are many unexpected things that alter the course of plans.

I think it’s important to think about how you would feel if you waited and possibly didn’t have your father-in-law there… would you wish you had the wedding sooner?

I’m sure he’d love to see his son get married, and I think it’s really important to consider your FI’s feelings in all of this. If this were one of your parents, you may also want to move up the wedding.

I know it’ll be tough financially, but in the end, the wedding is about celebrating your love with the people who care about you around, so with all these things considered I’d be inclined to do all I could to bump the wedding up…

Good luck…

Post # 4
4824 posts
Honey bee

It sounds like Dad is having a tough time and I think you may be right that doing a court house or justice of the peace at home (if he is too ill to go anywhere) with immediate family on both sides, then on your original wedding day do a blessing and your reception.

Your original day is far off enough that by then people will have been able to greive and your wedding blessing and reception will be a much more happy occasion that they will be happy to celebrate.

And then you could do a nice something to commemorate his dad.

Post # 5
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m sorry.  This kind of thing is always hard.  My Future Mother-In-Law died 2.5 weeks before our wedding.  My mom (bride’s grandmother) died 1 month before my daughter’s wedding.  Do what feels right to you, and know that even if you can move up your date, ultimately you don’t have control over the situation.  Prayers to all of you. 

Post # 6
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Oh StarIzInkd, I’m really sorry to hear that.  I would move it up if it’s important to your FH.  Yes, it might be stressful and not what you had originally envisioned, but you’ll always remember that all your parents were there and hey, you’ll get to be married sooner, too.  I hope your Future Father-In-Law gets through this.

Post # 8
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I am so very sorry that your FI’s Dad is so ill. My Grandfather was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in late June. Our wedding was scheduled for early October. My Grandfather’s goal was to be there for my wedding, but he died 7 days before the wedding. If I could do one thing differently, it would have been to hold our legal ceremony sooner so that he could have been there for it. 

In those last few days of his life as I sat by his bedside, and in the month since then, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how fragile and temporary life can be. Sometimes we just have to seize the moment, even if it isn’t ideal, to share the big stuff with the people who matter most to us. Don’t wait for tomorrow, because it isn’t guaranteed. So my advice to you is to do the legal ceremony now, and hold your vow renewal ceremony with the big party later, on the original schedule.

Post # 10
46 posts

That is a tough situation to be in, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. I really hope his dad will be ok.

I moved the wedding closer because my dad had terminal cancer in which the miracle we were hoping for was nowhere in sight.

We moved it up and unfortunately my dear dad didn’t make it. I have nasty inlaws that didn’t see why we moved it up OR kept it after he died (nice, huh?) Well the way I saw it was, my dad died knowing the date, but also, it helped to ensure that perhaps everyone else would be there.

Unfortunately, there was another death in the family, right before the wedding. I mean, I’m just saying, imagine this: his dad is fine, or worse: he’s not. Either way, choosing to have the date sooner you should think of it as helping to ensure the rest of your loved ones will be there. You really just never know when you’re gonna go, know what I mean?

I say, move the date up, hope for the best, keep the plans no matter what happens. Keep pushing forward.

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