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May I gently suggest?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
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    1.
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    Busy bee
    lobster    August 2010   New York, NY

    Hi ladies. My boyfriend and I are getting engaged soon. We looked at rings together and last weekend I chose the design I want w/him at the jeweler. Yay! The jeweler gave us an estimated finish date of Thursday, July 2. When I heard that, my heart sunk a little. Why? One selfish reason: I want to be engaged before our trip the next weekend b/c I want to show the ring to my close friend who I only see every 6 months.

    Yes, all hope is not lost. The problem is July 2 is right before 7/4 weekend and it's unlikely my boyfriend can pick it up then and he cannot leave work or go after work. The jeweler is also over an hour away by car so it's not easy to make a quick trip from NYC.

    I have 2 questions...1) can I gently suggest or hint that I was hoping the ring would be finished earlier, say by the end of june/one weekend earlier? and 2) Does anyone know how long it takes to get a ring appraised + insured? Or do I just have to sit tight and hope he has the right sense to know my bday is coming up and that our engagement would be the *perfect* bday gift. :D

    Thanks for your help!

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    1. May I gently suggest? :  wedding Img DSCN2780.jpg (510.6 KB, 65 downloads) 1 year old
    2. May I gently suggest? :  wedding Img DSCN2781.jpg (467 KB, 36 downloads) 1 year old
     
    2.
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    Bee Keeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Sit tight. One thing I have learned is that men don't like to be rushed into proposing. You are stealing their thunder that way. Especially if your reason is to show it to your friend. I'm dealing with getting my ring appraised and insured. I'm under the impression that an appraiser can do it in an hour or less depending on how much paperwork you provide and you just fax it to whoever you want to insure it under. I'm hoping <1 week

    You never know what he has up his sleeve. Maybe he plans on proposing in August! 

     
    3.
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    Busy bee
    lreighard1    8/22/09   Washington, DC

    DEFINITELY sit tight. Suggesting anything about WHEN you get proposed to might really upset him, as it did my FH.  :)  It's coming!  YAY!

     
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    Helper bee
    alundberg    February 13, 2010  

    Just take a step back and relax!! you want it to be a surprise, right? He probably has some amazing plan to totally WOO you, so let him do his WOO-ing!! :) It will be so much more worth it to have a wonderful engagement story and happy memory than to think you rushed it to show your friend. And depending on the length of your engagment, you will have EVERYONE asking to see it!! Best of luck!

     
    5.
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    Busy bee
    hbowar    May 15th, 2009   San Jose, CA & MN

    I agree with everyone else...just let it happen!  I was very involved with our engagement...was with my now husband when he bought it.  He waited 2 weeks to propose.  Let him do it on his own time!  You want to be surprised too!  I was not expecting to be proposed to when he did it, so just let it happen!

     
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    Blushing bee
    TheEditrix    10/17/2009   Bethesda, MD

    While I know exactly how you feel, I agree with ejs4y8 ... chances are your BF has something in mind already, so I wouldn't push him just for the sake of showing off your ring to a friend. Trust me, there will be plenty of friends to show it to! But I can totally understand why you're excited ... I was there too! Just know that your engagement will probably last a while, so enjoy it ...

    I think our whole appraisal/insurance thing was just a matter of a phone call ... we have it insured under our renter's insurance, and FH had it appraised before he gave it to me. So we just had to call the insurance agency to update our policy. (But then again FH handled all that so I could be wrong!)

    Attachments

    1. May I gently suggest? :  wedding Img My_Inspiration_Board_2.jpg (143.3 KB, 92 downloads) 1 year old
    2. May I gently suggest? :  wedding Img My_Inspiration_Board.jpg (242.7 KB, 76 downloads) 1 year old
     
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    RecessionistaBride    January 28, 2012  

    Definitely wait it out!

    Before we got engaged I mentioned, jokingly, "You should really propose [insert location] when we're there next weekend..." Oh my gosh, he flipped. Apparently thats how he WAS going to propose. He was so upset and I felt like an ass. Then I waited a looooong time to get my ring.

    Pushing it, little hints, suggestions, etc never work out... Men know what to do. They know we want it. They'll do it in their own time.

     
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    Helper bee
    Soon2BeMrsCLW3    July 31, 2010  

    latenitesnackin (haha i LOVE your username!!)  Wait it out girl!!! Im in that WAIT phase too...The boy and I have been looking at rings since Christmas, so WB is where I come to temporarily lose then regain my sanity....all the while saving my boy from the pressure of me asking him WHEN WHEN WHEN?!??!?!???!!? lol.  Sit tight, and definitely dont suggest times/places for him to propose bc..he wont do it when you want him to. 

    Also, if you are unsure if your boy will/ has taken care of insurance and appraisal on the ring, WHEN you get your ring and proposal, casually mention it then (in a way that won't offend your man) and you shouldnt have any problems....

    Welcome to the World of Waiting!!! :)

     
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    Sugar bee
    tessabella76    September 12, 2009   Ohio

    Trust all the other posters: the surprise is soooo worth the wait!

     
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    Honey bee
    hamster    May 2010  

    As much as I dislike writing this (I was in the same boat a few months ago) - I think it would probably be best to sit tight.  Of course it's difficult, since you know the proposal will be coming any day now - or at least any day after late June, but he will probably want to keep the proposal part a surprise since you played a part in picking out the ring.  Good luck and keep us posted when it happens!

     
    11.
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    Blushing bee
    Bear9206    7/4/09  

    Yes this a repeat post...WAIT IT OUT! You will always remember the suprise and how you felt at the moment he asked especially if you did not know it was coming at that exact moment. I was completely suprised, and I know others who were not and they have began to regret that because they have said they do not have the feelings I do or the stories, which is not an issue to some. But your engagement is something you want to always remember with your man. Plus if you only want it early to show it off, comes off a little bad, but honestly you will have plenty of time to do it and it some way you will get annoyed by people grabbing your hand and gawking. I absolutely adore my ring but am getting annoyed by people grabbing my hand or my freinds doing it for me. I guess I am territorial! But anyways, just wait it out and dont rush your man, that never turns out good.

     
    12.
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    Busy bee
    lobster    August 2010   New York, NY

    The response is unanimous. Zip the lip.

    You're right, ladies. I am getting ahead of myself and making this experience all about ME instead of us. Thank you for the reality check. I do want the surprise (one of the few things in my life that I want as a surprise). I'll post pics of the ring when it happens later this summer!! :)

    Attachments

    1. May I gently suggest? :  wedding Img P1030337.JPG (144 KB, 46 downloads) 1 year old
    2. May I gently suggest? :  wedding Img P1030342.JPG (101.1 KB, 41 downloads) 1 year old
    3. May I gently suggest? :  wedding Img P1030337.JPG (144 KB, 39 downloads) 1 year old
     
    13.
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    Worker bee
    nank    August 28, 2010   live in Utah, wedding in MA

    LNS... oh my goodness, i am in the EXACT same boat.  my boyfriend and i have been designing the ring and we just went to try it on last night before the hand engraving is done.  my boyfriend's brother's wedding is the 27th and we were hoping to be able to have it before then.  then the jeweler dropped the bomb that the engraver is going on vacation for a week and so the ring won't be ready until the 4th of july!  GAH!  i was so sad, but then my best friend and mom talked me down.  it wasn't meant to be - maybe someone would have thought i was trying to steal the bride's thunder, maybe the formal proposal will be all the more special now that there's no 'deadline', maybe now the pressure's off a little, etc.  i'm still sad (and seeing it made me WANT IT ON MY FINGER NOW!!!! ha ha) but i have to believe it's for the best.  i'm sure the same is true for you.

     
    14.
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    Blushing bee
    sal75    3-14-09   OC, CA

    It's best to sit tight like everyone has been saying and let your bf do his thing.  Sometimes we women like to take control and "push things a long" so that they are done in a more timely manner... but let your man be the man and pop the question and do the planning for that... you never know... the whole july2nd thing could be a cover... so just keep enjoying your bf and how awesome it is that you guys will be getting engaged soon!

     
    15.
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    Busy bee
    MissEdamame    July 2009  

    Sit tight and just wait for the surprise. I promise it will be worth it!

     

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