Post # 1
So here’s the situation. Both my husband and I were laid off from our jobs within 2 months of getting married. We have bills piling up and absolutely no spare money. My sister is getting married in 22 days, and the wedding is in Las Vegas. Because of my money issues my parents have offered to pay for my flight and bridesmaid dress. Also, my husband just found another job just a few weeks ago and all of his money goes to rent, bills, groceries, and basically stuff to keep us living (we have no expenses for enjoyment). I just got a job offer for a really good job, basically my dream job, and I start next week. This means that she would expect me to take a day or 2 off work within less than 3 weeks of starting a new job where I really want to make the BEST impression. I am feeling like the best idea may be to tell my parents not to buy the dress or book the flight (save that money for their own entertainment) and that I’ll just have to miss the wedding. I don’t want to be selfish, but at the end of the day, no one else is paying my bills and I don’t think it’s appropriate to take off that soon after starting a job especially when my husband and I have been really struggling. So I think the best idea would be to miss the wedding and just buy her a REALLY GREAT wedding gift when I get my first paycheck. I’ll finally be making great money unlike everyone in my family who already has been making great money for a long time, I don’t want to mess this up. Am I completly wrong if I don’t go? Oh and did I mention I’m the matron of honor? *hangs my head down in shame/guilt*
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands
@HUstrawberry: I think you should ask your bosses for the time off, honestly. It’s your SISTER’s wedding, not a random friend or cousin. They should understand.
Post # 4
@mepayne: I hear you and I still may, but I’m really on the fence about this. I really want them to know I’m serious about this position. And I’ve already been delayed in starting the position due to waiting for certain documentation of mine to come in the mail for my employment papers. I need this job, like we will not survive the month (financially) without it, it has literally come in the nick of time.
Post # 5
I would at least ask. And if they say no? I don’t know. Is she getting married on the saturday? Maybe ask for a half day the friday instead of the whole day to give you travel time? Will it be possible to leave late on friday or super early the Saturday morning to make it to Vegas in time for the wedding? Even if you ditch your BM duties and show up in the nick of time for the ceremony… I’m sure that would be a whole lot better than not being there at all…
Post # 6
Unless she were in the hospital dying, my sister not being at my wedding would irreverably damage our relationship. Jobs are important yes, but there are and will be other jobs, family is forever. I would at least try. Though I am not sure why you waited until less than a month before her wedding to make travel arrangments and buy your bm dress?
Post # 7
I can’t imagine a boss so evil they’d cause problems over a sister’s wedding?
Post # 8
I think you at least need to try to go. Explain to your boss how important the job is and you totally understand if it is impossible but you would love for them to think about letting you go to your sister’s wedding because she is extremely important to you and would love to witness her marriage.
Post # 9
I think you should explore your options with your new job before making a decision.
Post # 10
With the type of job it is, I may be working weekend at times, or need to be available. I will still ask and see if it’s possible for me to go, but I don’t know. I waited this late because I truly didn’t have the money, we’ve been going to food pantries just so we can have something to eat for a week. It has been really hard. And jobs just don’t come and go, it is hard out here, some folks just have no idea. I really want to be there and witness her day, I’ve played a really active role in helping her plan for a lot of the wedding, and I’m super excited for her and her husband to be. But if I get even a feeling from my supervisor that it will risk my job, then I unfortunately will not be able to go. I will not end up out on the street for a wedding, sister or not. But I hope it doesn’t come to that; I’m just getting kind of worried that it’s not going to be able to happen.
Post # 11
@HUstrawberry: Negotiate. Say in return you will work over Christmas when others might need leave etc etc. Unless you boss is pure evil or your work hours are uncoverable then they should be able to accommodate you. Is there anyone at work who does a different shift that could cover you or swap with you? I would try and find this out before going to your employer. If you have a workable solution in hand it will make it harder for them to say no.
Post # 12
@j_jaye: I’m definitely going to do what I can. I really don’t want to miss it. I will be the only person in my position so there literally isn’t anyone who can cover for me, but I will try and see if I can make it happen. Believe me, I feel like s*#t over this. I’ve felt like s*#t for several months and this is just the cherry on the sundae. I am sick over this.
Post # 13
I’m going to have to go against the grain here and say that if I were your sister I would be horrified to find out that you had potentially jeopardised your new job and your ability to pay your bills for the sake of coming to my wedding. I would like my sister at my wedding, but it wouldn’t damage our relationship in the slightest if she were unable to attend because she couldn’t take off work soon after starting a new job. I think you should talk to her and see how she feels about the situation.
Post # 14
I don’t see any harm in asking your employer if you could have a day off to go to the wedding. But I would make absolutely sure that I was only asking for a single day and let them know where would be no hard feelings if they had to turn your request down.
Post # 15
Ooooow… you didn’t mention it at the interview? Well no matter. If they let you go/don’t hire you for taking one or two days off for your own sisters wedding it is probably not the “dream job” you are thinking anyway.
Post # 16
@HUstrawberry: Is it possible to ask for just the Saturday off, and be there for the wedding for the absolute minimum amount of time? i.e. fly in late Friday night, fly out late Saturday night, You say you’ve got to be available for weekends, but surely you can request one day? Or organise a swap with someone?
EDIT: But if push comes to shove, bread on the table comes ahead of your sister’s wedding. When your sister decided on a destination wedding (which is what I assume Vegas is), she’s got to expect sometimes people can’t travel.