- 5 years ago
I’ve written about this before, so some of you already know, but long story short – my boyfriend and I decided together to get married a little over a week ago, in a really cute romantic way, but without a ring. I consider it a proposal, but it happened pretty spontaneously, and my boyfriend (or fiance, haven’t really decided) feels enough social pressure that he really wanted to keep our mutual decision private until he gets a ring and really “proposes” in his words. We decided to tell a few of our closest friends about what happened, but to really keep it private/secret until he got a chance to do his thing. I was elated of course, and also kinda in limbo, still waiting, but feeling basically engaged and excited and really much calmer in a way knowing that he DEFINITELY wants the same things, and SOON. We started talking a little about wedding dates, and checked out a venue randomly because they had an open house the same night we thought of them. He asked me to give him through November though to get a ring and do it “the real way” whatever he means by that before telling people we were getting married. Of course I love him no matter what, ring or no ring, but I’m respecting his wish and his fear of being judged for proposing without a ring, and keeping it quiet, even if I don’t feel like it’s necessary. Ok, fast forward to this week.
We are going to NY on Thursday for a very short weekend trip (flying from CA) with my dad to see his parents (the only remaining grandparents on either of our sides), who are very old and sick and will definitely not make it to CA for our wedding, and who may not even be alive for the wedding. It might be our only chance to tell them in person and celebrate in person that we are getting married. Boyfriend and I talked about this, and he realized how amazing this could be and last minute has decided he is going to try to get us ‘officially engaged’ in time to tell them. He said he can’t promise because of logistics, but he got very serious about his schedule this week and when he can fit in looking for rings, and we also talked about a ‘stunt’ ring that I could wear that of course my grandparents can’t really tell the difference with since they are almost blind anyways. Now, I’m really excited that it’s probably coming sooner rather than later, but I’m also not wanting to have my bofyriend feel stressed and under pressure and just pick out a ring fast just to get it done with. I know I know, I want it both ways, and it’s unfair. Of course I can’t have it all! (the chance to share with my grandparents, and a perfect ring he spends weeks picking out and customizing with a jeweler, just for me, etc.). I decided to really leave it in his hands, I told him I’m ok with it not happening in time because I don’t want him to feel pressured, I want it to be fun and meaningful, but if it does happen, whatever ring he gets me will be amazing.
So possibly any day now, or if not, then still waiting until November (we have a trip to Hawaii and I’m guessing that was his plan). 🙂 I’ll keep you ladies posted about the ‘real proposal’ according to my boyfriend. Haha.