Post # 1
How did you NICELY handle an uninvited guest messaging you that she and her bf (whom you have never met) are trying to figure out a way to come to your wedding?
She is a second cousin, and saw the save the date that we sent to her parents. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in nearly 3 years, though she will occasionally comment on my FB posts. She does not live at home (she’s 26or27 and lives with her bf), so I am not sure why she assumes the invite is extended to her as well. FH and I live two states away from them, so I’m not sure if it will even become an issue, considering they would have to travel if they attend the wedding.
Because of the cost per person at our reception, we have to limit our guest list to close family (no further than first cousins) and closest friends only, which will be about 90 guests. FH and I are paying.
The biggest issue, and I don’t mean to be rude, but she can be inappropriate in social settings. I’m a little worried that she, and possibly her bf, would make our other guests uncomfortable.
I would like to be as gentle as possible, considering that she has very delicate emotions and a tendency to be easily offended.
Post # 2
just say that due to venue size restrictions, you have a strict number of guests that have been invited, and she was not one of them.
Post # 3
af123: Well seeing as though it was rude of her to suggest to you that she was invited in the first place lol, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you telling her like it is; budget, small guest list, you’re not on it.
It doesn’t sound like you’d be burning any bridges by doing so, either. Honesty is the best policy!
Post # 4
well, if she only saw the save the date at her parents….maybe she will get the hint when you send out invitations and she doesn’t recieve one.
Post # 5
Could you ask her parents to gently explain to her that she nor her bf are actually invited?
Post # 6
I would straight up say it was a small venue and we didn’t invite any second cousins because it wouldn’t be fair to cherry pick and you simply could not invite everyone.
Post # 7
I think we will put “2 seats have been reserved in your honor” on our response cards, and only send the invite to her parents. Surely that will get the point across. If not, I guess an awkward conversation (which i HATE) will have to happen. Thanks so much for the input, ladies!
Post # 8
You respond and kindly say what you said above, that due to budget and space restrictions you had to limit your guest list. You hope her parents can come and represent the family.
Post # 9
since she’s mentioned it to you, and she and her BF seem to be making plans, I wouldn’t just ignore her at this point and wait for the invitations. I’d simply say, “Oh, I’m glad you liked our save the date I sent to your parents. There must have been a misunderstanding because, Unfortunately we have limited space, and aren’t able to invite all of our extended families.”
Post # 10
I would mention something now, as much as the conversation sucks, because you said she was trying to figure out a way to come and it would be best to have the talk before she’s actually made plans and travel arrangements. Just explain the situation and hopefully she gets it then.