Post # 1
It seems like all the other brides around me just naturally know what to do and how to plan, like they were born with the “bride gene”. I think most men expect that all women have this gene but I think perhaps mine might be missing…
I have been planning my wedding for years but now that the time to plan is actually here, I feel like a chicken with its head cut off 🙁 I have a bazillion ideas floating around in my head but honestly I have no clue what to do or how to do anything…how do all these other women know what they are doing?
There are just soo many details to wrap my head around and I cant keep anything straight things like, programs, timelines, wine, rehearsal dinner, decorations…I dont even know where to start, I have never been a leader and now that every detail is being trusted soley to me, I am freaking out! I cant even keep myself organized, let alone everyone else! and its like everyone is just standing there staring at me and waiting for my instructions! I am about to hyperventilate!!
Post # 3
Step #1: Breathe.
Some people are born planners, others are not. I can let you know right now that had I not done event planning as a career, I would never have known where to begin with wedding planning.
My best suggestion would be to look up or purchase a “wedding planning guide”. There are many out there – and they basically tell you how to plan a wedding, step by step. They offer suggestions, budget spreadsheets, and timelines for when stuff usually needs to get done by.
You will be just fine – and your wedding will be fabulous. You must also remember that being on the ‘bee is probably one of the best sources of wedding advice you will ever get!
Post # 4
I had this frustation too! I think the number one issue is spending too much time looking at weddings and magazines and it’s all got muddled and mixed up in my brain.
My advice is to get organized. Make a budgets, decided if you want to diy, find your major vendors and your venue. I had several ideas about what I wanted, and once we found a venue certain things didn’t make sense in that space and it made it much easier to narrow things down.
Having a budget range in mind has made it easier to see what is out because we cannot afford it, and also I have fantastic vendors who been able to guide me and give me real life options which have made it easier too. I also got a wedding planner and I desribe the feel and what we want so she also been good at editing things down and giving me options. I still have changed my mind various times on our colors and the decor, so it’s normal. That you start out thinking one thing and the end product ends up being much different.
Post # 5
I think lots of people feel that way. It can be overwhelming. I am a planner but I am not what people would typically describe as “girly.” You don’t have to follow anyone’s time line. You and your Fiance need to be happy that is it. Fake it to you make it I think applys. Find one time line you like. Use that for your major things venues, vendors etc (just so you don’t get stuck without something, though you can usually find one even at the last minute). Work on one thing first. And like PP said breathe.
Post # 6
@raspberry bride: Thanks! I will look for one of those planning guides. Im just not used to being in control and I feel overwhelmed that everyone just expects me to have everything figured out 🙁
@TwoCityBride: Thank-you, I have already booked the major things like vendor, caterer and such. Its really just all the small details that I never even thought about until now. Unfortunately a wedding planner is not in our budget because that would be such a great help.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Check out one of those wedding timelines (I liked the one on Real Simple .com), and then don’t stress too much! Most everything gets figured out in the last 4 or 5 months, so you’ve got plenty of time.
Post # 8
To look at me now you would think I had the Bride Gene… but honestly I was exactly like you were in the beginning, felt overwhelmed, chopped and changed my mind so many times, and honestly the forums helped point me in the right direction.
I used an old photo album to put all my ideas together, pinterest and my own mood boards, my planner remains pretty much unused as I got all the lists of what I needed to think about out of Magazines and by asking other brides questions.
I also put the main items on a spreadsheet and put the maximum I wanted to spend on each item, then added in things as I went along
Hope that helps
Post # 9
I know some people hate The Knot, but I found some good information here: http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/planning-a-wedding.aspx
Post # 10
@Elvis: I am actually already a member on the knot as well, but thanks!
Post # 11
Well I am in school for wedding planning and if u just need a friend to help pull your ideas together I would be more than happy to help. My mom says she wasn’t in line for that gene lol.
Post # 12
Start with figuring out a budget first. After you allocate money to each thing you will need, you can then do the ‘shopping’.
Book what you can as far in advance as possible.
And keep in mind, it’s a one day event. I know it’s easy to get stressed about it, but put things into perspective. If the groom shows up, you’re good to go 😉
Post # 13
@MapleCreekBride: I have never wanted to plan a wedding, I never dreamed of it, never bought a bridal magazine until about a year after I was engaged. This is one of the reasons why I chose a Destination Wedding, less planning, go with a resort, smaller intimate wedding and it combines the wedding with our love of travel. I still get a bit frustrated as there are still descisions to make.
Edit: Just saw you have already booked venue etc, I second doing excel sheets, I just wrote a list of things I needed to pay for/buy and then an estimate column of what it will cost, based on googling, then another column for actual spend.
Post # 14
High fives to a fellow non-bride bride!!! I too do not understand anything bridal! My advice? Get your girlfriends who LOVE weddings to help you out. Mine are all about the planning and I am so thankful that they know how to do this stuff!!! No doubt you have loved ones who are willing to pitch in and organize this day for you too.
Post # 15
Haha. I actually was just saying something like this to my Fiance because of how much I’m dreading and annoyed by dress shopping/hate so many wedding traditions. Glad to see we all have some misgivings about the stereotypical make up of a “bride.”