(Closed) Maybe I made a mistake … I put # attending … people adding guests …

posted 8 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I know exactly what you are saying! My mom’s family is huge. She has 13 siblings, and most of them have grandchildren now…some even have greatttt grandchildren! I don’t like most of them. Yet we have to invite them. They also do dumb/rude things like bring their children and grandchildren and even great granchildren to family weddings EVEN IF THEY WEREN’T INVITED.We are going to make it so that only my aunts, uncles, and immediate cousins are allowed to come to the wedding and reception. They will  have to leave all of their rug rats at home. We are having a seated dinner, so we HAVE to stick to our list. There will be someone seating people at the reception, and if they didn’t RSVP, they won’t be able to come in…plain and simple. And if they RSVP and then bring a child or random guest, they will not be allowed to come in. Half of the time they just want to come to weddings to eat a free meal and critique the decor so they can go gossip about it…they aren’t sincere people at all! Sad part is they will likely get angry and blame my mother if they aren’t invited…but they will do anything to stir up drama! Iwould rather invite people I LIKE to the wedding over this bunch of jealous/low class spectators. I’m seriously thinking of telling my mom we canonly invite like 5 of her realtives, but this may cause afamily riot where her siblings all gang up on her because they all feel like they “have the right” to be at family weddings no matter what.

 

But getting back to your issue, I think you need to call those who add guests on the RSVPS and let them know that they cannot do that because yhave only planned for a certain number of people. You should not feel forced to allow rudeness…it is your money and your wedding.

Post # 4
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

What i did is add the following underneath “accept with pleasure”

___ out of _3_ guests attending

that way i still knew how many people they’d have in their party, but i made sure they knew how many people i was expecting too..

Post # 5
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I put at the top of the RSVP “We have Reserved 2 seats in yout honor” and then put 2 lines underneath for names (or however many people we had for them).  Only my grandmother added a line, and she told us ahead of time.  Still frustrating, but my numbers were low anyway so it was ok.

Post # 6
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My fiance and I have these same concerns. Although it will me a ton of extra work for us we plan on putting each persons name on the RSVP:

Mr. John Doe  ___Accepts ___Declines

Mrs. Jane Doe ___Accepts___Declines

I’m guessing someone will find a loophole but we hope this will cut down on the guests that are not invited.

Post # 7
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2009

“My fiance and I have these same concerns. Although it will me a ton of extra work for us we plan on putting each persons name on the RSVP:

Mr. John Doe  ___Accepts ___Declines

Mrs. Jane Doe ___Accepts___Declines

I’m guessing someone will find a loophole but we hope this will cut down on the guests that are not invited.”

 

Sadly I think I will have to do that method too just to control my mom’s relatives. And then each person will have to circle the letter “C” if they will be eating chicken, “B” for beef wellington, and “F” for fish (salmon).

Post # 8
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Man, what an organizational heap of work for brides because guests don’t respect invitation etiquette…

Post # 9
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ugh, I do not look forward to this, I have family who feels free to add on who they’d like too!

Post # 10
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

So far we don’t have any “additional” guests, but we’ve only gotten back about 25 RSVPs and are still waiting for another 90 or so.  I’m more concerned with friends that have 2 years old who will want to bring them – I’ll just have to wait and see.

American Bride that’s actually really good to have each attendee circle their meal.  I didn’t, so people just put the number of meals by each one, and I’m guessing as to who wants what.  I figure they will be sitting next to each other and can just trade plates if necessary.  Usually when my FI and I go somewhere he’ll order beef and I’ll get chicken, and we split it halfway through.

Post # 11
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We put “We have reserved __ seats in your honor”

And at the bottom placed a line for total numer attending, this their max is what we have reserved. However, lol….I’m sure we will have a few that will disregard and add more…such a pain!

Post # 12
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We’re doing the “We have reserved __ seats in your honor.” thing too to try and cut down on this kind of thing from the getgo.

Post # 13
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

That’s their mistake, not yours.  If you addressed the invite to Mr and Mrs only and they added someone else, you have a right to call them and say they can’t bring her.

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