(Closed) Maybe I wasn’t ready after all

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@sherryberry: all the best sherryberry. i hope you guys manage to get things sorted. 

good luck 🙂 

Post # 4
Member
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I know you might feel let down right now, but it probably is for the best. The fact that the two of you have made this decision obviously says a lot about the strength of your relationship. There IS such a thing as rushing or getting caught up in plans so … breathe and relax and take your time!

You’ll know when the time is right sometime in the future!

Post # 5
Member
29 posts
Newbee

Best of luck!  I totally understand being weighed down by all of the decisions, the pressure of creating this “perfect” wedding that the bridal industry tries to constantly shove down your throat…at the end of the day, what makes a wedding perfect is not some expensive set of invitations, a designer gown, or the most creative escort card display that you can possibly think of, but it is the bond that you share

I am not telling you this because you don’t already know this, only to reflect on it frommy own perspective and offer you my advice based on what I’ve been through.  My own fiance and I lost sight of that very important factor, and truly forgot the point of the whole wedding: our marriage.  We have been engaged for 1 year and 8 months, and the date was set for this November.  With only a few months to go, I had an epiphany and realized we had been preparing for our wedding, but not our marriage.  We both made this difficult realization, talked it out, fought, cried, and just now, two months out, decided to postpone.  It was a REALLY hard decision, and we feel terrible about our guests having to change their plans and the stress it’s caused our families, but ultimately we knew we were doing the right thing.  We wanted our day to MEAN something, more than just a perfect color palette and a creative theme.  None of that actually should hold as much importance if the relationship is in the right place.  Ours was not at the time, and the bridal industry hi-jacked my brain for over a year, and I am finally taking control of it.  We are starting new, fresh, from the ground up. 

I am telling you this because I wish I had had the strength and clarity you are having earlier on, and I applaud you.  Take all the time you need.  I would hate for you to be standing where I am, fully planned wedding, two months out, and facing what I should have long ago.  At the end of the day, the people who love you and who want to be there for you will be there for you and your fiance, whether it is a ceremony that takes place in a week, or 5 years from now.  As long as you both are happy and confident in your decisions, so too will everyone else be.  🙂  Glad you’re trusting those voices inside your head!!  See you when you return!

Post # 6
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@anonymous625: That must’ve taken so much courage to postpone at this point, but what a mature thing to do for the health of your relationship!

I applaud both of you (and your fiances) for taking a stand and making such a difficult decision!

Post # 9
Member
29 posts
Newbee

@sherryberry:  It will come, I promise.  Weddings have a weird way of bringing out the worst in people, some how.  In-laws, parents, siblings, guests.  It’s honestly kind of frightening.  Here it is, this happy moment you wait your life for, and everyone loses their head and goes bonkers.  I don’t get it.  As long as you both are patient, and have open communication, trust, honesty, you will get through this.  Take this time to work on your communication skills, and anything else you feel might be lacking in the relationship that’s causing the tension (if taking wedding planning out of the equation doesn’t solve everything off the bat, I mean). 

Last but not least, remember that wedding planning IS stressful, and I don’t think there is anyone who has experienced otherwise.  It can create riffs between families, between parents and the Bride/Groom, and it most certainly can create arguments between couples.  Just remember that the whole point of planning is preparation for your marriage, learning how to communicate, make decisions together, etc. It truly can be practice for the way the rest of your lives will continue!  So now is the perfect time to set up a sound foundation, and I am so happy for you that you are taking that time when it is most important.  If you ever need ANY advice, we bees are here for you.  🙂

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