Post # 1
I feel strange even writing this, but I’m seriously waffling about having the wedding as we planned (next August, fairly small and low-key with about 50 guests). The site we want only accepts reservations 1 year in advance so we haven’t booked it, or anything yet. The only things I have for the Wedding are some silk flowers I got on sale and some thrift store vases. But the time to book all the big stuff that requires deposits is swiftly approaching, and I don’t know if I want to do it! The thought of spending all that money (our budget is far from huge, but still) and just doing all the planning and decision making makes me tired, not excited.
I just want to be married to my amazing, wonderful fiance without any fuss! We could just fly somewhere with a sunny beach and do this thing! Or heck, drive to the courthouse, do this thing and then fly to a sunny beach! We bought our rings, they’re in the safe deposit box. Nothing is stopping us. And if we get married this calender year we will save a lot on our taxes next year.
Except I really do want to bring together all our wonderful family and friends. The idea of seeing everyone we love in the same room is just incredible!
Will I always regret not having the big day with all the preparation, and the photographs, and the flowers, and all my fabulous bridesmaids around me? And giving my parents and grandparents the chance to see me get married? I know you can’t answer those questions.
I’m not sure what advice I want here. Just trying to figure out my own thoughts. Oh and my fiance is totally on board either way. He’ll do the wedding next summer, but I know if I said I changed my mind he’d be perfectly happy with that too.
Thanks for reading my rather confused ramblings…
Post # 3
We had to cancel our wedding and went to the courthouse (daughter had urgent surgery) and four years later we’re doing a vow renewal because I regret not having real vows and photos. Honestly, I don’t regret not having some big wedding, just those two things. Only you two know what you may or may not regret. Even our vow renewal will be super tiny (under 20 people).
Maybe downsizing the wedding is what you need? Do you want to marry sooner? See how much money you can pull together, slash your guest list, and do it this fall? Or Christmas season could be pretty?
Post # 4
@MojitoMeg: Girl, I hear ya! I just wanted to be married to my FI as quickly as possible. We did consider elopimg, but it would break my parent’s heart if we did it without them. The thought of having all of our friends and family together is what really convinced us to have the wedding. We’re sticking with 75 people, and have spread the planning out over a year. The stress has been so low, and we’ve been steadily knocking stuff off the list. We’re 7 months out (to the day!) and while I’m excited, it’s actually kind of fun to be in this position.
So, I would say have the wedding. Wear the white dress. Have someone walk you down the aisle. Take pictures with the people you love. It sounds like you really want to have them there. Don’t worry, time will fly!
Post # 5
I am a month out from our wedding and I wish I could cancel everything, get our money back, and just freaking elope.
Post # 6
I had th same feelings! So we scrapped our small June ’14 wedding and are getting married on the beach this September. I couldn’t be happier about it!
Post # 7
I don’t think ( if you are like me; this may not be true for you ) you will regret not having bridesmaids and decor and all the pomp and circumstance, but I think you will regret not having some family there.
Can you compromise? Get married in view of your family at a local park or at someone’s home, have dinner/lunch/whatever with them, and then fly off to your sunny beach?
Post # 8
Thank you for the insight all! I was definitely having a moment this morning! (I may have looked at the Sandals wedding packages…)I think we’re going to keep the plans, but I might be simplifying drastically as we go!
It also doesn’t quite feel real yet, ya know? Once we start making bookings with deposits it will definitely get real!
I’m going to focus on how mindblowing it will be to have amazing people that we love gathering from all over the country to have a party with us. That’s actually pretty awesome!