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Me and FI on different TTC pages... advice

posted 5 months ago in TTC
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    1.
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    Helper bee
    JRL2012    March 30, 2012   PA Wedding in MD :)

    So my FI and I get married in March. He wants to wait until Sept to TTC. I however would like to start right away. I have some issues and I feel like I will miss my chance if I wait ... granted it's only a few months. I can't wait to be a mom and I can't imagine not being able too.

    It also doesn't help that EVERYONE is preggers around me and while I'm happy for them... I'm also a little jealous. So what do I tell my FI? Do I do anything at all? I've also been on BC for YEARS! will that effect it more?

     
    2.
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    Bumble bee
    carrieknitscake    October 10, 2009   Chicago, IL

    You could get off birth control in March, let your body regulate, and then start trying in September. I've always found it best not to push a guy into anything he doesn't want or isn't ready for. Enjoy being married a bit, track your cycle, and then try.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    mmsva    October 9, 2010   Alexandria, VA

    Go read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertlity. Go off BCP and use that method to to prevent pregnancy. That way you can feel like you are moving forward toward TTC, but you aren't rushing into it (making your DH happy). Once you are ready to TTC, you can use the same method.

    How old are you? There is something to be said about just enjoying your 1st year of marriage and not having the stress of TTC and pregancy to deal with.

     
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    Bumble bee
    Moja Milosc    September 24, 2011  

    If it were an issue of being years apart in what you want I would think it would be a bigger problem, but those few months between March and September are going to fly by. I would just go with what FI wants to do as a compromise because it's only a couple of months to wait to know you're BOTH ready to start trying... and those few months could be spent relaxing after all that wedding planning and getting as healthy as possible to make a baby! Good luck and happy planning :)

     
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    Busy bee
    marjojo    July 24, 2010   Nashville

    I WISH it were only a difference of 5 or 6 months between when I want to start trying for a baby and when DH does! Count yourself lucky. Unless you're over 40 or a doctor has told you there are fertility issues, then you will be fine waiting until September.

     
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    Busy bee
    MCC919    April 16, 2011  

    @marjojo:  Yeah, I feel your pain... I wanted to start now (or a few months ago), and DH wants to wait 2+ years.  Talk about a timeline difference! :/

     
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    Busy bee
    PandasWifey    September 26, 2009   Denver, Colorado

    @carrieknitscake: +1 Sounds like good advice to me!

    @JRL2012:  I seconded Carrie's advice because I went off Birth control (after 12 years!) in February and it took my body until September to get back to a normal 30-day cycle. Now it's December and I'm finally preggo! It happened way later than we thought it would, but we're just happy it happened.

    Anyway, at least by getting of BC you can feel like you are being proactive about TTC, and having to use a Jimmy hat in the meantime will probably make your FI just as anxious to get to September as you are! ;)

     
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    Bumble bee
    78h2o    October 8, 2011   MD (wedding was in OR)

    @JRL2012: I completely sympathize because I am in the same boat! (I posted a similar thread yesterday).  I think it's a good idea to get off of BC soon, since it can take awhile for your body to regulate.  I will tell you though, that after being on BC for quite some time, I was surprised by the issues with my skin that I've had since going off of it. I've pretty much had one of those deep, painful zits at all times since going of of BCP (I think it's called cystic acne, or something like that). I hadn't even thought about that before going off BC a month before my wedding. The whole week before my wedding was like that scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding - big honking zit on my chin, mom and sister trying to help me get rid of it with all kinds of home remedies! Yuck! I can see it in my photos too. :( So that would be one thing to think about before going off of BC... that, and having to use condoms or another form of BC in the meantime if you don't want to avoid all together during your fertile window.

    Anyway, since I've gone off of BC, I've been charting and have read TCOYF. I appear to be ovulating, so that is at least making me feel a little better... It is so hard to wait though... my sister is pregnant and my two best friends have little ones... I'm so frusterated with my hubby for not being ready!!! I don't think he understand that it HURTS me to wait!!!!  Best of luck to you...

     
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    Busy bee
    ginnyc    April 30, 2011   Madison, WI

    Why does FI want to wait until September?  Is there something going on over the summer that he wants to focus on?

    I agree with the other posters that this would be a good amount of time to get off of BC and use condoms or a diaphragm while you chart your cycle.  

     

     
    10.
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    Helper bee
    JRL2012    March 30, 2012   PA Wedding in MD :)

    Thank you everyone for your advice! I will def be going off BC sooner rather than later.

     

    @mmsva:  I will go get that book! I'm 24... which I know is young but my concern is medical which is why I don't want to wait :/

     

    @MCC919: I couldn't imagine having a 2 year difference! I wish you luck with everything!

     

    @PandasWifey: Great advice! haha He will get annoyed with that :)

     

    @78h2o: I didn't even think of that! I will be waiting until after the wedding than! I don't even know what my face would do since I've been on it for 10 years! And I'm sure no one else noticed on your big day... you just see it because you know it's there :) Good luck!

     

    @ginnyc: My FI wants to wait because he wants a summer baby haha Because for some reason he wants me to be huge and preggers in the summer haha Stupid reason! He has the hopes that he will have a son around his birthday... which I think is kinda silly but hey my FI has always been kinda silly. I keep telling him it could take up to a year or longer to  get preg... if even at all in my case... and he insists he has "super sperm".

     

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