Post # 1
I was up all night last night crying and stressing. I had about 2 hours sleep. I have sorted everything for this wedding. I am stressed out enough. This weekend I said to my Fiance that we would be going for extra photos at the Castle because the venue we are having our reception at doesnt have much space for photos. He asked me why would you want to do that and pay more money when the Church grounds are lovely for photos anyway. I told him that the photographer had suggested that because there isnt loads of space around the church for photos.
So that was the first bit, then we fell out about that as he got all annoyed as I told him we would be having our own photos after the main ones for about half an hour without our guest (normal right). Well, he got upset and asked me why I am turning the wedding into a ‘photoshoot’ I said this was normal at weddings and he said he had never been to a wedding where the bride and groom take ‘ages’ as he put it away from their guests to have extra photos alone. He said it was rude to leave our guests on their own at the hotel. I couldnt believe this, I feel he is totally clueless. I was completely thrown by this as I thought he would just know this is what is happening. He got angry and asked me why I hadn’t asked him if he was ok with this before booking the photographer.
May I add that he DOESNT LIKE having his photo taken, so I think this is a sore point as he doesn’t want to spend too long with the photographer as he feels uncomfortable. I really want lots of lovely photos, and I am going to put a lot of effort in to look beautiful and I want photos !!!!!
I am so upset about this and feel like he should just suck it up and get on with it. I feel like he is being selfish, I have told him exactly how important the photos are for me. I think all he is worried about after the wedding ceremony is the party with the family!!!
I wish he would be more supportive, surely he should be the person on my side and with me during this.. please help 🙁
We have spent a fortune on an excellent photographer. Surely we need to make the most of it!??!?!
Post # 3
@danascully: Would he compromise on doing a post-wedding photoshoot at the Castle? It means you don’t have to be away from your guests for so long and most photographers will add one on for a fairly small fee.
Post # 4
I havent thought of that but thanks for the suggestion. Im not sure after its all over if I could even be bothered to be honest lol. rather get it all done in one go x I will ask him though
Post # 5
Does he have any friends, male or female, that he can talk to about this? Im’ sure ANYONE can tell him this is perfectly normal and that what you are asking is totally not out of the ordinary.
Post # 6
Not many of his mates have had big weddings like ours, and his sister got married two weeks ago and did it cheaply I have to say, and she only had about 10-15 mins with just the two of them and they only used the church grounds. My photographer quite rihgtly wants to use the church AND the village grounds. I have talked to his sister today to try and talk to him. my friends say may be he is just nervous cause he hates photos.
Post # 7
@danascully: We did it and it was so lovely to be able to get those shots when we weren’t worried about keeping to time or making sure we got the steps of our first dance right. Instead we were free just to get dressed up, pose in our gorgeous wedding clothes and have a laugh with it.
Post # 8
For photos, there is nothing rude about leaving your guests alone for an hour or so while the two of you take pictures. You are entitled to have some alone time to do this, and in honesty it will probably be the only time during the day where it will be just the two of you. My Darling Husband and I sort of went through this, he didn’t really see the value in the photos and wanted as little to do with it as possible. I don’t like having pictures taken of myself, and I did talk to the photograhper about this. However when the day came, taking pictures which were just us was one of the best parts of the day, it was calming in a way that we could be a little silly and enjoy our time together before the whole ceremony and reception started. I say put your foot down, but tell him you’ll talk to the photographer about him not liking to take photos so they can work around him more during the day.
Post # 9
i think we are ok. he came home today with ‘sorry i didnt reply to your text’ and handed me a bunch of flowers. i was so happy i threw my arms around him and told him i just want to marry him thats all that matters. so i think we are ok and he has accepted it, i think he felt bad about making me so worried and upset last night i dont think he realised how it affected me xxx
Post # 10
It sounds like you’re marrying my FI! My Fiance literally had the exact same reaction to our photography. I don’t have any super great advice. One kind of random compromise we made is that I told him he doesn’t have to take the normal amount of pictures with his groomsmen. If all he takes is one formal picture with them, I’ll be happy. And he said that sounds perfect to him.
Also, we’re having a cocktail hour, and I promised him that the guests would not be bored. I also talked to him about the types of pictures we would be taking as a couple. I basically told him that all he has to do is spend a half hour with me. We don’t have to take many pictures where we’re looking at the camera. Once he realized that we could make the photography a half hour of time for just us after the wedding (if it wasn’t obvious, we’re not doing a first look), he started to come around.
Oh yeah, I also promised I would never ask him to take another picture in his life…
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Oh man this sounds so familiar! Glad you guys resolved things. My fiance is the exact same way, but he’s resigned to “whatever you want, sweetie”. I’ve promised to try to zoom through pictures.
Just try to make it clear how important to you to have this day well-documented. Maybe compromise on something else he feels strongly about?
Post # 12
I’m glad he’s in a better mood about it. Don’t know how you feel about a first look, but it could be a great compromise between the two of you. You both get ready, go take your pics with the 2 of you at the Castle area, go to the ceremony, do the family pics after and head to the reception. Less time in between doing pictures this way and you still get all the shots you want.