- 5 years ago
Hi there bees
first post! 🙂 nice to meet you.
Having a problem with my medical student FI. We have been together for 3.5 years, just got engaged a few months ago. We met in undergrad and are now both in grad school, but I am in humanities and he is medical. Needless to say, neither of us has much spare time.
I’m an only child with divorced parents, his family is much closer to one another. His siblings and both of his parents are either doctors or medical students. My family used to go on longer vacations together, but we haven’t since I was 12 or so. FI’s family has a tradition of taking international family vacations– but, here’s the thing, they take a ton of them:
Like, 4 separate international vacations each year on average, for about 1 week – 3 weeks each.
Bees, do not ask me how his family does this. I mean, WHAT? I feel like they are traveling every other month. Vietnam, Spain, Thailand, New Zealand. It’s totally crazy! His other siblings are not engaged or married, so this does not seem unusual to them.
FI and I, as grad students, are obviously broke. We’re pretty budget-conscious (FI especially), so our nights out are few and far betwen (once a month, which seems kind of sparse as recently engaged, no-children-having twenty-somethings iliving in a big city) . After three years, this churchmouse lifestyle has really worn on me, and I am itching to take a vacation away, just FI and I.
Here’s my problem: when his family goes on vacation, they invite him, but not me. I’m all for letting him have time alone with his family, but the frequency of the vacations makes it hard to get time in edge-wise. FI does not want to seem ungrateful (his parents foot the vacation bill) and wants to see his family, so every free vacation week he has, he goes with them!
I am feeling a little underappreciated here, bees. I can’t compete with an exciting international trip, and I want to do something together, but a night at a B&B in a nearby town can’t hold up to two weeks in Norway. I am longing to tell him to cut the apron strings and spend some QT with me, but I don’t want to sound ike I’m trying to break up his family!
FMIL and FFIL would not understand my plight — I’m a little worried about pissing them off or seeming like a threat.
Thanks for letting me vent…
Does anyone have experience with a family-bound FI? A med student/doctor FI? Please share!