Post # 1
Well it’s been a couple months since I posted on here last but I just had some thoughts I wanted to share and get some oponions from people. I’m coming out of a failed engagment in December and now I finally feel ready to move on and meet someone. My ex has a new bf so clearly she has moved on.
I feel like right now every time I go out with my friends and do something I keep thinking to myself maybe this will be the time I meet someone. Is this normal?? Or should I just not thinking about it and just let it happen. Everyone tellls me it will happen when you least expext it and im finding that hard to believe right now. I come from a very small town and I’m sick of seeing the same people all the time. I recently signed up for match.com but really haven’t had any luck yet. My close friends are starting to settle down and get engaged and buy houses and have careers. I’m 24 still live at home and dont know what I want to do with my life. Just thought I would throw this out there and see what people had to say. Thanks!!
Post # 3
i met my fiance when i stopped looking, and stopped trying to find someone. and when he walked into my life, everything was good again. so yes, i believe in the “when you least expect it” thing. cause it happened to me.
Post # 4
I met my SO when I wasn’t looking. I was dating a scumbag at the time. Within a few months, I had dropped the scumbag. SO and I went out on a date. 7 years later, we are still together and very happy.
Post # 5
Focus on you. Figure out what you want to do with your life, build your career, get your own place — make a life for yourself. If you’re going out to the bars or whatever thinking that you’re going to meet your future wife, you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment and probably coming off as a little desperate to the people you’re meeting. Desperation isn’t an attractive quality.
Get a new hobby, join a club, join a team, read a new book — invest in yourself. A relationship isn’t going to fix your problems or make you whole. Another person can never do that for you, you need to do that for yourself before you can be ready for a serious relationship with another person.
Post # 6
I wasn’t looking when I met my DH. I had just gotten out of a relationship a month earlier, and I was at work when we first saw each other. I’m sure he wasn’t looking for anything serious at the time either as he had just ended his engagement about 5 months before we met. We met and were inseparable ever since. We were engaged 6 months later, and we’re now married and expecting our first baby!
I would jut say to real and go with the flow, don’t try to force anything.
Post # 7
I was totally NOT expecting to meet my FI when I met him. I was casually seeing someone at the time and prideful in my “player” status, lol! And then I went to a Halloween party with a guy friend and the rest is history.
Post # 8
@Packers12: I definitely was not looking! I had just gotten out of a three year on and off again relationship with a manipulative cheater, when BAM…here comes current FI out of nowhere. I was feeling extremely jaded and had sworn off men for anything other than sex. Very fortunately for me, I couldn’t help falling completely in love with him. Two years later and I can’t wait to be his wife 🙂
Post # 9
I worked with him and was totally not looking, since I was focused on leaving the country and moving to NYC (where I figured I’d meet an American and settle down.)
He came to visit a few months after I left. I opened the door and thought “Damn, this isn’t done.”
Two years later, he followed me across the border. It was totally worth the wait. And totally NOT in line with my ‘plan’ (or his).
Post # 10
I wasn’t looking to date anyone with I met my FI. I was open to dating someone if I met someone worth dating but I wasn’t going out trying to find someone. So I wasn’t going out to the bar trying to pick anyone up, etc. I met FI at a bar (after a wedding) and only because I had had quite a bit to drink and he was sitting where I liked to order drinks. I’m pretty talkative and friendly when I’ve been drinking. Got lucky there
Post # 11
I also met my FI went I wasn’t looking. I was single and happy. I was working part time in the gas station and he came in and asked me out. 4 1/2 years later we are still together and happy.
Post # 12
@Packers12: I do believe this. A rebound relationship can happen, but those things are meaningless. But most people I’ve known who have had lasting relationships have gotten into them not going out looking for one, but it popping up when they least expect it – including myself. You have to let it happen organically.
Post # 13
100% I met my husband when I was least expecting it. I had tried for a very long time to find someone, date, etc. and it was right when I sort of “gave up” and decided to just focus on my job and myself for a year. I had just turned 21 and I had a plan to go to New York at the end of the academic year to improve my social and dating life. In the end, almost a month after my birthday, I got a call from a friend and she put us in touch with each other.
Post # 14
When I met SO I was just out of a 3 year relationship and was just enjoying being single and playing the field so to speak. I truly thought he would just be a one night stand… 7 years later and he’s still here.
Post # 15
I was online dating and not having any luck. The day I decided to delete my profile and give up for a while I got a long-ass email from my fiance – he got a paid account JUST to send me a message. Said that the mention of keeping a GameBoy on my person almost all the time compelled him to say something because he didn’t want someone else to snap me up 🙂
So yeah, you can totally meet someone when you’re not expecting it.
Post # 16
For me it happened when I least expected it. I don’t think FI was even remotely ready either. We met the first week of school after transferring to the same 4 year university. He had moved 2000 miles to work on his second degree and was drug to the foam dance party we met at by his new roommate. I was also new in town (but only a 100 miles displaced) and agreed to go with my new roommates. I don’t know what happened to my roommates or his because all of them had ditched us, but we didn’t care, we had found each other to hang out with. Still when we had left home a week earlier we were both sure we weren’t going to even try dating for a year. He wanted to adjust to the new state and I wanted to focus on my studies but instead we ended up together. It took me 4 months to even figure out we were dating. The fact that we spent all of our free time together and I had basically moved in with him totally escaped my notice because I wasn’t looking for anything. We just were. I wouldn’t have it any other way. FI and I couldn’t have looked for each other because we would have gotten it wrong.
P.S. If you are unhappy in your small town. Get out. That’s exactly what FI did. He hasn’t lost any of his friends back home but he is much happier with his fresh start.