Post # 1
So we have have our compatibility test on Sunday. It is 176 questions and another couple I talked to said that it took them 3 hours!!! Crazy! I am nervous for some reason… I know everything will be ok, but still… I’m nervous! Was anyone else?
Post # 3
I have never heard of this! I’m not Catholic though…I just opened your post because it sounded interesting 🙂 So what do you use the test results for? To work through stuff? They wouldn’t tell you not to get married would they…I hope not!
Post # 4
The FOCCUS test isn’t really a compatibility test, it’s really just a test to determine if you’ve talked about certain important issues. For example, there might be a question like “We have decided on how we will manage our finances after marriage” with options of “Agree, Disagree, Don’t know”. If you disagree or don’t know, it’s probably a good thing to talk about before the wedding.
Also, it’s 176 questions but you won’t fill out all of them. Some questions are for people who were previously married, some are for people who live together, and some are for interfaith marriages. I guess you could qualify for all sections, but most people don’t.
Even if you have to take all 176 questions, the test shouldn’t take any more than an hour. All questions are “Agree/Disagree/Don’t know”.
Post # 5
It didn’t take us more than an hour to do this.
Post # 6
We took the FOCCUS test yesterday and it took me all of 15 minutes, Fiance took about 20. Our deacon who was there giving it to us said technically you could fail but it is highly unlikely. I guess if you do fail that should be a huge red flag anyway!
Don’t stress out and let us know how it goes!
Post # 7
@CatholicBee: great synopsis.
our FOCCUS only took about 30-45 mins. there’s absolutely nothing to be nervous about! it’s almost like taking a personality quiz. we sat in the same room when we took it and were kind of chuckling at some of the questions because we’d already talked about most of the issues. i was actually kind of looking forward to taking it! we chit chatted about it on the car ride back to my house and we enjoyed it and already started discussing some of the things we’d answered “not sure” on.
Post # 8
Is this only for catholics? I keep trying to find pre-marital counceling for us but I am Christian he is Jewish and I need something that can help us walk through both.
Post # 9
I agree, our FOCCUS “quiz” only took each of us about 30 minutes at the most. It really is like a personality test and to see what you’ve talked about in your relationship. It also seems to restate a lot of very similar questions throughout to keep you on your toes. :o)
Don’t be nervous, you’ll be fine!
@kfricke89: We’re Catholic and it’s a part of our marriage classes, also we are going to an 8 hour marriage seminar this Saturday that is required by our state Archdiocese. Have you spoken to your pastor, or maybe someone affiliated with his faith about what to do? Who is officiating your wedding?
Post # 10
@kfricke89:I would ask the pastor or rabbi at each of your places of worship if they know any couples in a similar relationship. Though it wouldn’t be formal counseling it would probably be really helpful to learn what challenges they had merging their faiths, dealing with family, raising children etc…
Post # 11
Is the FOCCUS mandatory? We already did pre cana, and we had our one on one (or one on two?) with the deacon, where he went through the baptism certificates and asked us whether we want kids, how long we’ve known each other, etc. Nobody ever mentioned anything about FOCCUS.
Post # 12
Ya, the FOCCUS is pretty much mandatory to the best of my knowledge.
Post # 13
The FOCCUS test is not required to get married. I think it’s very strongly recommended that the parish uses it, but they do not have to (particularly when the marriage prep is for people who have been together for a very long time).