Post # 1
This week I am meeting with the officiant with my FH for the first time (we are having a destination wedding thus are not familiar with him). Likely topics of discussion include:
- we don’t know what to say during our vows (I don’t think we will write our own, though I wouldn’t mind)
- I don’t mind a semi-religious ceremony, but my fiance does. I am brewing in my mind how I can delicately discuss with the officiant how to bridge my spiritual needs with my FH who… well has none. We compromised- I wanted a catholic priest. Obviously, having an outdoor wedding off the confines of church doesn’t bode well with catholic priests. We found an organization called The White Robed Monks to provide an officiant. They are very familiar with providing ceremonies among mixed religion couples etc.
I was wondering, to help me prepare for the meeting. How was all of your first meetings with your officiants whom you have never met? Do you have any suggestions of things to ask that I should bear in mind?
(sorry the link to imbed a hyperlink wasn’t working for me… but here is the officiants website: http://www.whiterobedmonks.org/ )
Post # 3
Last Thursday we had our first "we’re looking for an officiant meeting." Here’s what I wish I had known going in:
- Run it like a meeting. I’m crazy enough that I might even consider an agenda, at least for you and your FI before the meeting, if not actually when you sit down with your guy.
- Your officiant needs to know who you are, what both of your backgrounds are, why you are getting married and what you want reflected in the ceremony. (i.e. you were raised with some religion, your FI wasn’t. You want to bridge that gap by having a only slightly religious ceremony.)
- What do you want the ceremony to look like: how long is it, # of readings, any special rituals, unity candles, sand vases, jumping the broom, etc.
- Who are the VIPS you want represented in your ceremony. Are they readers? is it mentioning family who couldn’t travel/late grandparents, etc?
Good luck! I hope it goes well.
Post # 4
I second the suggestion to be over-prepared. You can’t really count on your officiant to take the lead, especially if there are things you and your FI need to get straight.The reason I say ove-prepared is that you’ll want to know what kinds of things can go in the ceremony and bring up any that are appealing to you.
Take a look at some sample cereomonies and decide together what you two want to include. I used the book suggested by several bees — The Wedding Ceremony Planner (Link from Mrs. Petunia) and even if you don’t use the book to write your ceremony you can get a really helpful breakdown of the segments of the ceremony from that post.
Just be sure to be yourselves, too, so that the officiant gets a good idea of you two as a couple, and be really honest about what you want from him and the ceremony. Good luck!
Post # 5
Thanks ladies, I really appreciated the feedback! I am hoping all goes well with the officiant! =o) I guess before we meet with him, I will have to look at that one post by Miss Petunia.
Are there any other links that were helpful for others when they were brainstorming the ceremony part?
Post # 6
Wow thanks for asking this question…we’re meeting with ours next month and I’m CLUELESS…now I better start making a list!!! Thanks for the input!
Post # 7
Post # 8
No I haven’t checked the Wiki… but I will now!
(I am getting overwhelmed with the details aspect of wedding planning- tunnel vision is setting in!)