- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
Ok. I won’t go into it too much, but we have to again change our wedding plans, courtesy of a best man (bro of groom) who is being difficult. He claims he cannot change his work schedule 3 months in advance and come to our wedding only one weekend earlier.
We cannot have it at my sis’ house on Aug. 7 (we were going to change it to July 31 and have it at her gorgeous riverfront home) because the best man claims he cannot be there. And my FI has been teetering on a line, on one hand trying to keep me happy, and keep his brother happy too. Well we found out today that there is actually a prior “committment” his bro and sis in law his and I’m madder than hades. He may have a profession and level of job that is important, but my bro in law is a surgeon and he’s clearing his schedule for whatever weekend we choose b/c my sis and bil are 100 percent there for us.
The overriding reason we can’t have it at her home on the 7thof August is b/c her children (heck mine too) goes back to school the following monday morning and it would be utter chaos having so many people over to their home and then doing a massive clean up (I offered to do it and also pay for help) and then trying to get the kids ready for school. That I totally understand. It’s also hard for us to fly around somewhere and get married on the 7th and then fly back into town and have my son start school the day after we return. It is simply different when you have school kids rather than a baby. My FI’s brother apparently doesn’t get this situation.
His (FI) bro got married 2 years ago and had a big wedding out west and T went and did all he was supposed to do. Truthfully, bil to be is treating our wedding as a vacation for him and his w, since they have a 6 month old and will be letting the grandparents babysit the little guy quite a bit. They’re taking off 6 days for our wedding..? It’s convenient.
So…here I am, having felt like I’ve been hugely let down by my usually wonderful FI. We’ve never even had a disagreement before. I’ve never even been really angry at him and this is a first after two and a half years. But I feel awful.
I mean, it’s not like I had to change things because I wanted to. I didn’t. It would’ve been perfect, but sadly there was the spill and in time it will probably be worse (talked to a specialist at NOAA and FI’s mom is a retired marine biologist). We didn’t want to change our wedding date by one week because we wanted to, but b/c it was easier for my son, and my sisters’ school aged children. Almost all the kids in our area go back the same week.
Now it appears not only will we have to change things yet again, but that maybe two of my 3 bridesmaids might not be able to come. My new approach is different. I had the meltdown…the queen mother of all meltdowns two days ago and last night, and decided that we’re just going to go on our familymoon (with my son…as our real couples’ only honeymoon to st. lucia is in the winter) and wherever we decide to end up, that’s where we’ll get married and that’s that. I know it will be difficult for one of them (she has 3 children and a husband) to put all five of them on a plane and then there’s my other bm who is now penny pinching everything (just found out it’s b/c she’s going to Nassau/Paradise Island in a few weeks) because of a vacation she’s taking.
I cannot possibly make everybody happy, but know my sis and bil and their kids will be there along with maybe two couples, T’s parents, and maybe his bro and w. My sis suggests we figure this out, and then have two sets of wedding papers made up: 1)the actual invitation for our quickie destination wedding and 2) have a separate wedding announcement created announcing we basically eloped and that we’d be celebrating our marriage by having an elegant dinner at one of our favorite restaurants in ATL, having cake and show the video and pictures and have our minister there to bless our marriage (this is my sis’ idea).
Prob is this. I’ve totally lost my wedding mojo. All of it. I feel absolutely nothing about getting married except that I do love T and want to marry him. I am perfectly capable (along with sis and S, the bm/designer) of tossing together an elegant intimate wedding in 3 months or less but the wind is totally out of my sails right now. From having my grandparents pass away recently, to my mom flipping out and taking our (sis and I) inheritance, to having had to use my dress money (can’t access the 401k b/c it’s too restrictive) to hire a lawyer to taking my ex to court a few weeks ago to the darn oil spill…..I’ve had it!
So. I’m taking a break from all things in my life wedding-ey right now. Maybe a week or so and hope the mojo returns. It’s like a super power my sis and I have to toss together parties and celebrations, but I’ve apparently found my kryptonite and now I feel wedding powerless and just darn sad right now.
Your ideas on how to recoup the mojo? I’d love to hear something positive and uplifting. Need it.
I am like this right now: