(Closed) Men and Violence

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Vintagekay:  Your post is sort of hard to respond to but i did want to at least acknowledge it. Patriarchy is a real thing, violence against women is a real thing. You are not alone. Perhaps you might want to look in to a feminist organization in your area and talk more with women who are working to end violence. 

 

Post # 4
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It has A LOT to do with how we socialize boys in this country. What it means to be men etc. But aside from that, our society is set up to not acknowledge crimes committed by white men. I was reading an article the other day about how we might all be a little safer if we profiled white males the way we do men of color. Anyway, it’s hard and frustrating and VERY scary so I am right there with you. I work as an advocate in a domestic violence agency so I see this stuff every day.

Post # 5
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Vintagekay:  Society allows it by normalizing the behavior and engaging in victim blaming.  Usually when a woman is a victim of DV the response isn’t “How could this man do such a thing?” but more “Why is this woman with that guy?”  

Post # 6
Member
7796 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s not just an American problem, there are violent guys everywhere.

I think it’s to do with human nature. Instinctively (and it comes from our physical characteristics), men are the providers/protectors, women are the nurturers. Being a protector means being at times strong and (in a good and protective way) sometimes aggressive. So if the protector trait gets twisted or distorted, it can easily turn out violent. [While if the nurturer trait gets twisted or distorted, we’re more likely to nurture badly: bitchy, jealous, manipulative, etc].

Of course this is a generalisation. Many women are violent, many men are bitchy. But I think this is why men are overrepresented.

Post # 7
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I i noted this on the other thread, but in reality our society is getting less and less violent all the time. There’s a great book called The Better Angels of Our Nature: Why Violence Has Declined. You’re just more hyper-aware of these incidences because of the ability to google and the 24.7 media.

Post # 8
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@Vintagekay:  women are abusive too if that makes you feel better. men just dont feel like they can speak out.

look at rihana and chris brown. that was (is?) a mutually abusive relationship but because of his image he couldnt publicly say it.

Post # 9
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Children learn from example. They need positive role models in their lives and they need to see their parents respecting each other. Nothing much I can say about the present population, but we can hope for the future.

Post # 10
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@subtlebee:  Where did you hear that?

Post # 11
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@zerlina:  people who knew them as a couple said that they had a violent love life (s&m) stuff and that the lines seemed to blurr sometimes. People had seen them get into fights before “the incident”. After it happened a lot of their friends tried to make him come forward with the balanced truth but he wouldn’t because of his image.

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