(Closed) Men really are from Mars? Ughhhhh.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would get one of those wedding list checklist/timelime books, with all the deeds, actions, purchases, etc that you need. Or make one in excel and make him see how much work there is left to do. Also you can start by crossing off things you don’t need and budget time for the rest.

Plan to knock out a few items from our list every weekend, so the whole weekend isn’t taken up by wedding stuff, but you still get things done. And schedule it in advance (This week is invites, next week we are going to see the band, etc). This should help ou relax by knowing it will all be done, and it will not overwhelm either of you.

Post # 4
37 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

I totally understand where you’re coming from, and am so happy you posted! My Fiance is the same way, and it’s driving me crazy! We finally decided to have our wedding in LA (where we live) after thinking about a destination wedding in New Orleans (where he’s from); then a week after we made the decision to have it in LA he posted a poll on Facebook (ugg FB!) asking who would come to NOLA and who would come to LA. I let him know I was NOT happy about this and he reply was, ‘we don’t even have a venue’ I don’t see what the big deal is. The big deal is, I’VE been researching vendors out here the whole time. While he’s sitting around buying a new toy, I’m working and he just doesn’t get it.

Anyway after he saw how stressed I was and I wrote him a list of everything I have to think of and plan he understood a lil bit more.
We are hoping for a September wedding too. I also got a wedding planner book, and that has helped me. Also The Knot, has a good planning tool.


Post # 5
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@Gleamingbridexo:  Take his advice, and do try to relax. Get all that negative energy out of your system, because it doesn’t help you, and it doesn’t help him hear your message to him. I was there once too, so I totally get you! Here are a few tips:

After you’ve taken a few deep breaths, organize in black and white exactly WHAT you need done, HOW to accomplish it, and WHEN to do it by.

Next, make sure you tell him in advance you need to chat with him. Make sure it does not conflict with any of his little shows, his video gaming, or his trip to the grocery store. Make it a comfortable, convienient time for the both of you. Heck, maybe take him to lunch on a Saturday in a restaraunt devoid of televisions on the wall, and bring your binder of info with you to chat about jobs. Split up the tasks amongst yourselves, and tell him how important it is to you.

If he doesn’t seem as receptive after you have a genuinely calm heart to heart, maybe seek out a lady friend who seems to be beside herself with excitement over helping you. Friends like that do exist, and often you don’t need to ask twice for someone to chomp at the bit. Many will be so stinking excited that you’re getting married, they will jump at the chance to help you.

I know it’s not a perfect situation where you want to be working 50/50 alongside a guy who is equally excited about planning a big fat wedding as you are, but really, he’s looking forward to all the action on the honeymoon. You’re right, that’s just how guys operate. I know it’s stressful– keep checking in with us, and we’ll try to help!

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