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I understand the desire to honor a deceased parent, but I do think it's a little weird for it to be on the invitation, especially in the way that you phrased it. I think people would definitely do a double-take at the implication that a deceased man was inviting them to a wedding. Perhaps you could honor him in the ceremony programs instead.
I lost my father and I was wondering the same thing - defnitely interested in this thread. I think even just saying "together with their parents" still implies the deceased relative, but doesn't bring the "double take" attention to it like others would. I don't know... I'm curious to hear other's suggestions.
I plan to honor my father by walking down the isle alone, and having a note in the program along the lines of "the bride is choosing to walk down the isle alone in memory of her late father *name here*"
I agree with LittlestBirds. Honor your father in the program and/or in the ceremony.
I lost my mother and didn't put her on the invite because it isn't really proper to have a deceased person invite everyone to the wedding. What I did was:
Father and Stepmother
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of his daughter
I did that because my stepmother didn't raise me, they were married when I was in college.
I'm in a sort of similiar situation, but in your case, i would probably word it...
Jane Doe
daughter of Mr. & Mrs. Step Dad and the late Mr. Bio Dad
and
John Smith
son of Mr. & Mrs. Josh Smith
request the pleasure of your company......
I know pps have suggested putting his name in the program, but for us there's just something about acknowledging your deceased parent in the actual invitation that feels right.
Once someone is deceased, they really cannot invite people. A better way to word it would be:
Mr. and Mrs. Stepdad
request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding of
Bunny Lovesbear
daughter of Mrs Stepdad and Mr Biodad
etc.
etc.
(it's "wedding", not "marriage", because wedding is a one-day event, whereas marriage is a life-long event that you don't really want all those guests hanging around for ;-)
I'm sorry that your darling dad will not be there on your wedding day. I think that you can be creative in how you mention him on the invitation (I like the suggestions of naming the hosts who will actually be there and then acknowledging you as "the daughter of..." underneath, but I too would hesitate at extending the invitation directly on his behalf. I hope that you have a lovely picture of the two of you together to place somewhere special at your reception. It might be nice to place your bouquet next to the picture.
And lest brides with printed invitations think "hell, I invited to people to celebrate or witness my 'marriage', and not my 'wedding'; did I get it wrong?" it is my understanding that if you are married in a place of worship, guests are invited to witness your 'marriage' and not a wedding. your invitations reflect that your marriage is the important sacrament celebrated on the day, and the ceremony that you are inviting guests to witness. In secular ceremonies, or for less formal occasions, 'wedding' would be appropriate (not that inviting people to your 'marriage' would be inappropriate if you were not getting married in a church either).
http://www.verseit.com/VerseIt_Etiquette.cfm
This site addresses many common situations with ideas on how to word them. Hope it helps!
Thanks everyone for the advice. Unfortunately, I didnt think about this until AFTER I gave our invitation people the official "okay" to start printing/production. Hopefully the wording of our invites won't raise any eyebrows.
But like someone said, mentioning my dad on our invites felt like the right thing to do. I never even thought it was weird to include him at the beginning, but now I can totally see how it's a little off. oh well...
@bunnylovesbear: I think it is a beautiful tribute to your father to have him included on your invitations. Best wishes on your marriage
I've been to a wedding where the father is deceased, and was still included on the invitation. I found these examples: http://www.lcipaper.com/kb/wedding-invitation-wording-deceased-parents.html
There are many ways to do this and it doesn't seem like the "rules" are firm. My father is deceased and my mother is not remarried so she insisted that he go on the invitations because in her heart she is still a "Mrs."
As someone who was close to her Dad and didn't have a stepfather I also wanted him on there. If my father had passed when I was very young or had not been in my life then the situation may have been different. My DH's parents, for many resons, were not listed on the invitations at all.
I didn't place my father's name on the invite.
It was just my name and fiancee's name (we're an encore couple).
But...on my bouquet I purchased a sterling silver angel charm to honor his memory as though he would be still in some way, walking me down the aisle.
While it is understandable to want to include it, proper etiquette says that a deceased parent does not go on the invitation as they cannot invite anyone to any event. You can remember them elsewhere at the wedding if you wish.
I think its perfectly fine to note a deceased parent on the invitation...in a situation like yours, who cares about proper etiquette. My FI's dad was killed 22 years ago and we are wording our invitations like this:
Mr. and Mrs. Bride's parents
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
ILuvDance17
to
ILuvDance17's FI
Son of Mrs. FMIL
and the late Mr. FFIL
We decided to word it like that because my parents are paying for everything, so they are the ones inviting people.
Yeah, it's definitely tough. I'm not all that concerned with the etiquette of it, but I'm hoping there won't be any raised eyebrows from our guests.
I am honoring my father in several other ways, but I still thought it was important to have him on the invitations. We are getting married on his birthday, and I purchased a bouquet charm, but for whatever reason, I just wanted his name on the invite, too.
Also, my mom and stepdad are paying for the majority of our wedding, so I that's why I have my parents at the beginning instead of writing "daugher of blah blah" after my name.
looking at all the samples of wording online really isn't helpful because they just leave out the name if the deceased parent is the bride's parent. that doesnt really seem like the right thing to do to me.
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The wording of my wedding invitations currently begins like this:
With joyful hearts
Mr. and Mrs. Stepdad
and the late Mr. Biological Dad
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
etc.
etc.
So my question is this: Is it strange to have "the late mr. Biologial Dad" on my wedding invitations? Anyone else mention a parent that has passed on their invitations? Thoughts?