Mentioning/Honoring Deceased?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

@SparkleBee11:  I think that with either way you go (include or not) someone is bound to be offended.
I agree that it’s a touch morbid (for lack of better words) to include pictures of tiny babies clinging to life. I would include pictures of your loved one’s weddings, I think that’s a beautiful way to honor your loved ones!
I think a wedding should be a celebration of two lives beginning. My family is a lot like yours, in the sense we feel we carry our loved ones in our hearts, and they know we love and miss them dearly.  
Good luck! 

Post # 4
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@SparkleBee11:  WE meant to, but forgot to, put a sign on one seat in a pew, with some flowers, saying “this seat is reserved in honour of our loved ones no longer with us.”

I also added them into the prayers of the faithful during our mass.

Post # 5
Member
2150 posts
Buzzing bee

@SparkleBee11:  

We’re going to have a small table with pictures of my mother and her parents, as well as pictures of FI’s paternal grandmother and maternal grandfather. 

We might have a candle on this table to symbolize their spirits. 

Post # 6
Member
2262 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2007

@SparkleBee11: I think it’s important that whatever you do, you and your FI are both comfortable with it. 

My best friend lost her mother when she was young, she wore a piece of her jewelry on her wedding day and had a candle dedicated to her at the head table. Some of her family was upset that she didn’t have photos or make mention of her in the speech, but she was happy with what she did an that’s what matters. I thought the candle was sweet. 

Post # 8
Member
10999 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

We had an eight-page, formal wedding program, and one page was reserved to honor our grandparents who are no longer with us.  We simply noted that and listed their names.

 

Post # 11
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We are saying something to the effect of:

Bride and Groom have asked that we take a moment to honor the memory of those loved ones who could only be here today in spirit.

 

No specifics, just a moment to think about them.

Post # 12
Member
9532 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Everyone grieves differently. I think you should do what makes you comfortable. My mom passed away 4 years ago and my grandfather passed shorlty before my mom and my uncle passed shortly after my mom. My family really needed a happy occasion to get together. I also lost my other grandfather as a teenager and my husband lost his grandmother as a teenager (the other grandparents and his uncle had passed before he was born). 

When our pastor did a little intro at the begining of the ceremony he mentioned how important it was for us to be married surrounded by our loved ones, those attending in person and those there in spirit. We also mentioned them in the prayers section. And that was about it. One of the signature cocktails was the first drink I had on my twenty first birthday when my mom took me to New Orleans – I wrote that story on the cocktail menu. That’s all I can think of. During the ceremony a butterfly was flying all around us and my mom’s family all thought it was my mom and my husband’s mom thought it was her mom and it people loved it and thought it was pretty cool. But it’s not like you can plan that. 

I’ve known people that lit candles for loved ones. One that put a single rose on a chair during the ceremony for his mother. Prayers. Pictures. Moment of silence. Whatever works for you.

Post # 13
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@SparkleBee11:  We aren’t mentioning anyone during the ceremony, but there’s a note in the program acknowledging those no longer with us/attending in spirit.  I also plan to have candles (for the 4 grandparents no longer with us) with a nice poem honoring them at the guest book table.

Post # 15
Member
4163 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

We had something at the bottom of our program, can’t remember the exact wording, but we thanked our family for support, blah blah blah
friends for being part of our lives
and thoughts with those who are with us in spirit
list of five names (grandparents and a very special friend who passed.)

I also like ardowns suggestion a lot. I think the wedding photos would be a lovely touch.

Post # 16
Member
2882 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@SparkleBee11:  It’s quite common in our area to do a memorial bouquet or a vase with X number of roses.  We are doing the first, and our programs will have a small note at the bottom;

The bouquet on the alter is in loving memory of those who have gone before us. 

I’m debating names still.  We have 7 deceased grandparents between the two of us, and I have a close friend from HS who died.  I’m leaning not mentioning names and letting people think of who they want.

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