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@UpstateCait: I feel betrayed! ;)
I don't make it up, but I don't have a very good story, so maybe I should start!
My friend had a friend who it came out at their rehearsal dinner that they met on MySpace and she was like, embarassed and furious about it. So at least you're okay with it! You could even put a cute little note about it in your program or something, and mention "yeah, we lied to you...sorry!"
@UpstateCait: We kind of met on Myspace too. We had a mutual friend and had seen each other in passing but he added me on Myspace and we started talking online until we decided to actually hang out in person and go on a date. I don't really lie, I will tell people the story if they pry. However when asked how we met I always say that it was through a friend and leave it at that. The longer version of the online talking is cuter than "We met through a friend" but it seems so dorky sometimes and as you said, the whole online/Myspace thing (although we had seen each other in passing, it was still like meeting online) was considered weird a while back (mine was a little over 5 years ago). Also, I remember his picture like you remember your fiance's (a picture from his strange Halloween costume including his "Squirrels Gone Wild" shirt).
My friend and her husband met on WoW. He lived in MD and she lived in Canada. She moved down here to be with him, so there was no made up story that she tells everyone but when people say "Oh my gosh! You lived in Canada? How did you meet Dave?" She'll make up some story off the top of her head that makes them scratch their head haha :)
Um yeah I lie about it all the time!! Loooooong story short a substitute doctor told me I had herpes (the genital kind) when I actually don't. Ruined my life for a brief time, but offering comfort is why my boyfriend took me out on our first date. If my doctor hadn't been an idiot and my last boyfriend a total jerk, my sweetie and I probably wouldn't be together.
Our relationship essentially started as "friends with benefits." But we just say "Well, we were friends for a long time then realized we wanted more!" A little stretching the truth to make everyone more comfortable.. I say he's the Chandler to my Monica. : )
we did. We tell people that he walked in to my work and asked for my number
My FH and I met on OKCupid just over 2 years ago. I had been doing the online thing for a couple of years and everyone and their brother knew, so we didn't ever lie.
My best friend met her husband through the Craigslist personals about 6 years ago though, and they totally lied about it. In fact I think their families still don't know. She came clean to me before they married. It was funny because she totally built up to it like she had this huuuge confession. It was cute. I could not have cared less, but I was glad she told me the truth. Now, I think the only reason they don't tell their families is because they are embaressed by the lie itself, not that they met online. LOL!
My fiance and I met in a chat room 6 years ago (we lived 5 hours apart.. I just moved here about 2 months ago).. at first we would stutter over a story of how we met and so would the people who knew the truth (both our families) lol but now that we are engaged we don't care... It is SO weird to think back how we met and its amazing how much we have changed together! I love it! :)
We met on the online dating website Plentyoffiish.com. I had just gotten out of a on and off again relationship about 4 months earlier and just went on that site for seeing what was out there. I think he messaged me first. We talked on and off on that then on yahoo messenger and then on the phone.
We decided to meet at a Red Lobster not to far from where I lived, he lived about half an hour away. When we met there, the wait was for an hour and half so we decided to go to a little Italian place not to far away. We had good good and conversation. We didn't want to the date to end so we decided to park his car in my apt complex and go a movie. Well little did I know once we got back to my apt complex and started to drive away in my car, did I realize that I blew a tire out. Luckily we were still in the parking lot, we got my car back in the one car stall I had, it was night time and really bad lighting or he would have tried to change my tire. I told him not to worry and I would take care of it the next day.
So we had couple of hours to kill before the movie started, we had planned on going to look at Christmas lights around the area first. (We met end of Nov) but instead decided to just sit in my apt and talk. Not to worry ladies at the time I lived with a male roommate who that is all he was to me was a roommate but he was a big burly guy and he was home so I knew if things got out of line he would toss my date out.
Nothing got out of hand we talked for hours and realized we had missed the start time of the movie. By the end of the night, he was all gentleman like and asked me first before he could kiss me.
From there as they say was history.
Oh and we tell the truth how we met see no need to lie
I met my Fi on yahoo and i was honest about it with my friends and family...he was the only guy i was interested in meeting so i did it and i am so happy about it!
I sort of lie. FI and I made out on my friend's couch while our mutual friend threw up White Castle cheeseburgers in the bathroom. Not the most romantic of stories, lol. We simplify it and say we met through a mutual friend and hit it off immediately. It's still true, it's just not nearly the whole truth. ;)
we sorta lie. we met through our blogs but didn't feel like explaining that to or parents so we just told them that we went to school together. we did go to school together, we just didn't know the other one was there!
now we just tell the truth, well i think we do to everyone but our parents. at this point, six years later, it doesn't matter. lol
HAHAHAHAHA we met online too and lied for a really long time about it as well! well, sort of--our parents and close friends always knew, but we told most other people that we'd met at a bar. which is a total joke, because he's too shy to everrrr talk to a random girl at a bar, and i'd have been too skeeved out by someone randomly hitting on me with a cheesy line for that to have actually happened ;)
so after telling that story for about 2 years (it's been almost 5 years now), we realized that meeting online was actually LESS sketchy than the bar story, so we came clean. it wasn't a big deal, since the important people already knew how we'd met for real.
and honestly, i think it was the best way for us to meet. aside from above mentioned uneasiness about the bar scene for me personally, i moved to dc right after college graduation, and met hubs only 2 weeks later. i literally knew no one there--all my friends had stayed in the city where i went to school, and i had just broken up with this guy who i'd been dating for a few months (who i also met online--i went to a women's college so didn't know many guys in college, and my roomie/one of my bms made me sign up after a failed reconciliation with my high school ex-bf that made me realize i needed new guys to have crushes on!)--i basically chose my first post-grad job over the now-ex because he didn't want to do long distance. so i was in a weird state when i met hubs--totally alone but feeling like i was doing the right thing for me professionally. and then BAM. we met right away--i think i signed on to the dating site to update my location--and i knew immediately that we clicked. the first time we talked was on im for FOUR hours! (he had a really boring job then, and my new job hadn't started yet.) we went out 2 days later, and then that was that :)
whew, sorry for the novel of a response! i've been writing a grad school paper all day and night and am a little wired/long-winded......thinking about my hubs is so much more fun than my paper, hahaha ;)
i met my husband on match.com and have several "good friends" i met from an online music forum. trust me..it's not a big deal anymore. embrace it!
We met online too- never was a big deal for either of us. If we hadn't been online, we would never have met. Our paths would never have crossed otherwise.
If you want to come clean, you could have him break the news when he responds to the toast to the bride. He could tell everyone he has a huge confession to make. It might be kind of funny for you to sit back and see their reactions. On the other hand, if you are worried about people's reactions, you could maybe save it for another time.
It depends who I'm talking to- my FI and I met at a full moon party 6 summers ago, and we were both totally trashed drunk- we locked eyes, spoke for hours, and then made out behind a tree thinking we were invisible to everyone, but of course everyone saw us!
I usually omit the "we were drunk" part of the story for family members and some older people.
my bf at first didn't really want other people to know either but i think he just made something up at first. we met online too. then he finally told the truth and how he always said that online dating was dumb...and then the next thing he knows he meets me ;) i met my current SO through a common interest message board, not like myspace or anything. i dated another guy that didn't want anyone to know we'd met through myspace but he also didn't last very long :p
We don't lie, necessarily, and some of our friends know the truth, but I definitely don't tell my parents I was almost naked getting whipped at a kink show when we met. LOL. That could be really awkward...
I guess that is hard if you've been lying about it to now come clean. We met on match and never lied about it. We never had anything mean said about the way we met... although we do often get the too-nice-overcompensating-because-i-think-that-is-weird response: ooooooooOOOOOOooooo cool! my brother's dogwalker's grandpa met his wife that way and it totally worked out for them! so cool!
erm... thanks?
My FI and I met online too.
We told everyone the truth minus my dad. He was ANTI internet meeting. I mean 100% against!
Well one day I finally decided to tell him and at first he was like "Why would you lie for so long?" and then he joked around a bit about how he doesn't like my FI anymore. Then finally he looked my FI and said "Do you love her?" he said yes. He looked at me and asked "Do you love him?" I said yes. And then he said "Well then as long as you are happy, I don't care how you met. Just don't lie to me again."
And that was that. I think you should tell people. You will feel so much better!
edit: we met on craigslist
FI and I met online...in an AOL chat room which I think is way worse than MySpace lol Same thing we met when it was almost not OK to meet online (almost 7 years ago!). Those who are close to us know we met online - and if someone asks we typically will tell them the story, but if people we don't know ask how we met (which we get a lot since he is from TX and I'm from NH) we just say we met when he was living in NH with his Dad (which he was) and leave it at that.
We met at the club! What could be more embrassing. No one really knew. But we did a wedding video and said it there! Because the video was so cute it was overlooked about where we met! LOL!!!
It's weird you posted this because DH and I are living a lie. The only person that knows is my MIL because she is a big advocate of online dating. DH and I both had just gotten out of long term horrible relationships. I went onto a personals site just looking for new people to hang out with since my ex got custody of most of our friends and stumbled across my DH. He actually was the only person I talked to on there and I cancelled it after our first date.
We tell everyone that we met getting our hair cut because I had mentioned to some people around that time that there was a hot guy at my hair salon when I was there. DH has turned it into this whole elaborate story and I don't see any reason to change it.
We met on okcupid and I was totally honest with my friends and family. Most of my friends had done online dating and a lot of them had had relationships with people they met that way. My fiance on the other hand is a little more sensitive about it - one of his friends met someone online who his other friends didn't really like for awhile, and he was afraid they'd judge him for it. We just tell people that we met in New York, or if pressed that we met at a bar. (I have no idea how this is any better than meeting online.)
The way I see it, ANY way to meet people is really sketchy. I refuse to date anyone from work, don't want to meet anyone at the gym, hate joining activities just to meet potential partners... it's ALL creepy.
I'm pretty sure at some point his friends and family will find out we've been "stretching the truth" a little on this. I imagine it'll be pretty funny, though. I mean, it's not the sort of thing anyone's going to be offended about.
I've been where you are. Not with Mr. Lox, but with more than one ex. (With Mr. Lox I just fessed up.) Anyhow, the point is I get it. So it's been 6 years and I'm guessing most people aren't asking much anymore about how you met. If it were me (and when it was this is what I did) I wouldn't bother to take any action to get the story straight, but I would start telling the real story from this point forward. Eventually it will happen in front of someone who heard the old story. They may not even ask. If they do, just shrug it off. "Oh? Is that what I said? Well, it was kind of taboo then, but I figured it doesn't matter anymore since we're getting married. Now you know!"
And then the whole thing will basically go away. You'll feel better because you won't be hiding it anymore, and people will slowly catch on. It honestly got shrugged right off with my family and friends when I did the same.
DH and I met at work and people tune us out when we try to tell the story, so I understand why you would use that as your cover!
My sister met her Ex online and they used to lie about it, she even lied to me for a while which was weird since I already knew she was online dating. I always thought it was more trouble than it was worth to keep up the lie, no one really cares and like 90% of the dating population have some kind of online account anyway. Then eventually people find out you were lying and it's awkward, which happened to my sister.
If I were you, i would just nonchalantly start telling people (when asked) that you met online. And act like you don't remember lying about it if you're called out by someone just say "Oh I said that? I must have been embarrased about us meeting online at the time".
I'm SOOOO thankful to hear these stories!!! My FI and I met on Craigslist! I figured I'd post an ad stating EXACTLY what I wanted in a man and see what the results were. Its so dang embarrassing :) Only a couple of my good friends know. Our first real meeting was at the dog park, so if people ask, we say we met there. Its been 3 years now, and he is still exactly who I was looking for. Sometimes, you get what you wish for <3
we kind of told a half truth... FI and I met on a dating site.. not a very respectiible one like Match or eHarmony - it was actually a pretty trashy site (nothing like perverted or anything just not respectible LOL) and we tell / told people we met on facebook by clicking through a friend of a friend of a friend that of course neither of us can name so the story doesnt really make sense so I always throw in "LOL you know how facebook is with friends of friends you can find anybody"
we try to make it seem like its one of those rare things like his brother went to school with a girl whose mother sat on the bus next to my aunt while taking my cousin to school whose teacher shops at the same supermarket that my boss who brought a sweater from his mother kind of thing... see a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend LOL
@Ms. Peach: @Entangled: Yay OKCupid!! Me too!
I've been very open about how we met. I'm honest because 1) I didn't want to have to remember a lie and 2) there was no real concieveable way we *could* have met other than online-Mostly because we are both older, I was recovering from an illness that left me mostly home bound and it's really, really hard to meet new people unless you are super social and have super social friends. 3) I love spreading the news about OkCupid, how it's Free and how much fun I had on the site.
I think you should tell everyone at the reception or have the officiant mention it durning the ceremony.
J and I met through a friend's Facebook. We never met beforehand. We talked for awhile then he decided he wanted to hang out. I kept putting it off until one day I decided I wanted to go to Atlantic City. He drove down, picked me up, and 30 minutes later we were enjoying a wonderful afternoon walking on the boardwalk. We've been inseparable ever since.
So, when people ask, I just tell them we met through a friend. Just not the entire story. :)
I met my SO on Plenty Of Fish... I swore to myself I would never do online dating. Well there I was setting up a POF account. I was only on there for little over a week and I met the love of my life. At first I was a bit weary of what people would say when we told them but I never lied about it. I think it is the most amazing thing because not only is he the most wonderful man I have ever met but we are both scorpios ( our birthdays are exactly 2 weeks apart) our moms are both adopted and both of our loser real dads names are Dan .... if thats not meant to be I dont know what is... We love each other so much and are very happy together and I dont care who knows how we met. We have been together now almost a year.
I told a similar story in a post a couple months ago. I came clean at work and no one really cared. LOL I was so nervous about it, and then one of the other managers told me he met his wife on pof too. Made me feel better I wasn't alone.
We met on Craigslist and neither of us ever lied. I have known two people who lied about meeting online and I never judged them when I learned the truth. I can understand why someone would be embarrassed especially if they had waited so long. I would tell them if you wanted.
We met at a bar, but also we met when I was on vacation. I like the story better that "I was on vacation" because I don't usually do the bar thing.
But, when asked for more details, I tell the truth. Except to his grandmothers who think alcohol is the devil. To them, I tell the story of our first date (a beautiful lookout, the beach, and dinner out).
It depends on who I'm talking to. I work at our local hospital. I was admitted into the psych ward in 2006 for suicidal thoughts and severe depression. My now-husband was brought in for the same thing 2 days later. We started dating 2 weeks after we got out. Our families know, of course, and most of our friends know. However, when I run into people I haven't seen since I graduated high school or old teachers or whatnot, I simply say we met at work. It's not really a lie, it just omits details. It's not something we're ashamed of but it is sometimes best to leave out those details when it's not being discussed with people we see on a routine basis.
FI and I met on Okcupid too. He messged me in feb of 2009 and we sent messages back and forth for about a month, then started talking on the phone...and then at the beginning of april we met for the first time. we dated on and off the whole summer, and didnt make anything "offical" till october. that's when i told my family i was dating someone, until that point no one knew he existed. when people ask how we met, i just say "online" and no one has asked any further questions.
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Beekeeper
We met on Myspace. My disasterous relationship with my ex had recently ended and I was feeling kinda blah. I was looking for local people (really just to kill time but totally on the look out for attractive guys) when I came across his profile. He was 20 miles away and his profile pic was really cute (him with his nephew who was riding a red train. Is it weird that I remember that? lol) so I checked out his profile. He seemed pretty cool so I messaged him. We ended up chatting over IM and phone for a few weeks until we decided to meet.
We met at Applebees. I had never met anyone online before so even though I felt like I knew him really well, a little part of me still wanted to make sure I wasn't going to meet some 40 year old perv. I parked on the side of the building and looked for his car. When I saw the little red jetta pull up with the cute guy from the photo I was pretty stoked. It was outrageously hot that day and his car didn't have AC. He brought me flowers that were almost completely dead just from the ride to the restaurant (he was pretty bummed but I loved it). I ended up keeping those wilted flowers for weeks until my mom threw them away because they started to smell.
Buuuut... noone knows that. Online dating was kinda taboo back then (6 years ago) and we didn't think people would understand so we told everyone that we met at FI's old job. Pretty boring so noone really ever asked anymore questions. I feel like our real story is so much cuter but we've been living a lie for almost 6 years, I don't know if I have it in me to set it straight.
Did anyone else lie about how they met their SO/FI/DH?