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I think you should ask someone else. Maybe your mom can do a small cake for the rehearsal dinner, if you are going to have one. Your mom doen't seem to be comfortable doing this for you. You could always ask her what else she might feel comfortable with and have her do that for you.
Sounds like she really doesn't want to do it. Maybe she's just worried it won't be perfect because of the arthritis and how long it's been since she's made one. I wouldn't push her if she doesn't really want to, but I understand why you'd want her to be the one to make it. :/ Maybe she'll change her mind?
She might change her mind but you should probably look at finding a vendor. It sounds like she's coming up with some excuses but all in all just really doesn't want to.
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my mom was a cake maker for 20+ years. 9 years ago she had to retired because she have horrible rheumatoid arthritis. after that time she acossionally made cake for small activities but nothing big. i love her cakes and i think no other cake taste better that hers. in puerto rico the tradition is for the best women and best man to pay for the cake. i ask my mother to make my cake but she dont want to. i been begging every day. she put excuses like her cakes are butter cream and not pretty fundant (which i dont care) or that has been so long she dont make a cake that she is scare of messing it up... its for only 50 people and i told her i will help her.
should i keep begging or should i look for somebody else???