(Closed) MIA Bridesmaid

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Tswife4ever: Oh that’s terrible. I actually had drama with my MOH. I literally had to demote her. But I am also having more than to BM’s so there are ample people to pick up the slack.

I hate this for you, I really do. Especially since your sister feels so alone in the planning of things, and that you are having to BEG your “friend” to even have a lunch with you. She doesn’t sound very relieable, IMO. And what about her showing up for all the big things she needs to take part in?

I would try to make contact with her, tell her that you need to speak with her immediately and that it is very important that she get back to you ASAP. Try to sit her down, let her know how you and sister are feeling about her lack of enthusiasm, or even thought about being a BM. T ell her you aren’t expecting her to drop her life for your wedding, but just being there occasionally would be nice. And tell her how much your feelings have been hurt. See if you can work things out. If all else fails, ask her to step down. Sell the dress, or ask another friend to be in your wedding and take her dress.

If she doesn’t respond to you repeatedly trying to get together with her. Send her an email. You have to converse with her somehow…. she’s being totally disrespectful.

Post # 5
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Tswife4ever: Wow, I didn’t realize how close! I hope she gets back to you. You deserve that much as a friend. Period.

So sorry again.

Hugs to you!

Post # 9
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Alright, you may not want to hear this but perhaps your expectations of her are too high. Many people think the only obligation is to buy the dress and show up at the rehearsal/wedding.

Did she offer to help plan a shower? Or did your MOH ask her to help plan the shower? There’s a big difference. If she told your sister she’s help plan and backed out then that’s very inconsiderate. If your sister expected her to help plan the shower without giving the BM A choice then I think your sister is in the wrong.

No one is going to be as excited about your big day as you are. It can be tedious and somewhat annoying to constantly have to discuss the wedding. I think a lot brides dont’ realize how suddenly all they do is talk wedding and your friends may not necessarily want to have their entire friendship revolve around your planning process. Have you hung out with your BM and not done wedding related stuff?

Before I give you any real advice I’d really like to know if she 1. offered to do all sorts of things and then backed out or 2. she’s just not enthusiastic or offering to help in the first place!

Be careful judging what’s going on with her. If you haven’t talked to her in a month how do you know what’s going on in her life?

I’m just very curious because what you can/should say to her depends on how she’s been acting all along, not just this most recent MIA.

Did she buy the dress on time? Did she help pick it? Did you ask her to help pick it?

Post # 11
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Tswife4ever: I’m sorry to hear that she backed out. Thanks for answering my questions, its just that many ladies post on the bee about being disappointed that their BM’s aren’t excited in general. In my opinion how you deal is very different so I think its important to figure out it she never got excited vs. backed out after being excited to help!

I’m not sure what you can do other than give her a call yourself and say “what’s up? My sister has been trying to reach you and you seem MIA. Is there anything wrong?”

Give her the benefit of the doubt and make sure something hasn’t come up in her life. There’s always the chance something did happen and she doesn’t want to burden you with it so close to the wedding. If she says nothing is new/wrong then tell her that you’re disappointed that she seemed so eager to help and then has backed off with no real explanation.

If she’s been a friend for a long time I hope that it can be resolved with a pleasant coversation… just try not to be too confrontational at first or it won’t get anywhere.

It seems like you’ve been an easy to deal with bride. Its really strange that she’s just dropped off the planet. Definitely call her and see what’s up. I’ll keep my fingers crossed there’s a good reason and that she didn’t just up and decide to stop being your friend! It definitely sucks and I’m sorry you have to deal with it. 

But, I would definitely call her before you write her. Words can be misinterpretted. If she doesn’t return your call after a few days THEN write her!

Post # 12
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

same dilemma with one of my bm. she is the only one that hasn’t helped out in any way. she is a flake!! and it’s annoyed me so much. i wouldn’t even care if she doesn’t show up for the wedding at this point.

i’ve come to the conclussion that if i were to have this wedding again… i would only have a MOH. BM are so much drama.

The topic ‘MIA Bridesmaid’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors