Post # 1
I am really struggling with deciding on whether to use a midwife or MD. I have been reading up on it and I just cannot decide. I would consider myself a natural person and usually get frustrated with MDs and their dependency on medications.
I would love to know your expereinces and why you choose what you choose. and if you could read some important points for me and give any advise you have.
1. I want to deliver in a hospital
2. I want to have a natural birth if at all possible
3. I am plus size and want someone who will be understanding
4. I have no family nearby. I need someone who can be there for me emotionally and more on a personal level.
5. I want someone who is supportive in my beliefs in NO immunizations while pregnant
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Post # 2
trying to figure out how to add a poll now that i already did my original post. bahahaha!
Post # 3
I don’t have kids yet but it sounds like a doula would be a good choice for you.
Post # 4
It is probably more important that you have a good relationship with the person you choose and they are understanding of your wants. I had a midwife who wanted to over-medicate me and didn’t really ask what I wanted, so I switched and kept my MD. I’m now doing birthing classes with a new midwife (who is a guy actually and is fabulous). I’m very happy with both of them and trust them completely.
Post # 5
It sounds like a midwife would be your best bet for meeting all the expectations you listed. The midwife model of care is all about empowering women, not controlling their pregnancies and birthing expeirneces. HOWEVER, a good MD will also empower a woman and not try to control her. It just seems more common (at least where I live) to get those results with a midwife. You could also see a midwife that has a “backup” MD that she works with. Where I live, there are a few practices that have midwives AND doctors, and they make a great team. Those doctors are always very supportive of the midwife model of care – they have to be!
Post # 6
I am a midwife and it’s our job to provide, support and empower all of what you have listed. You will get exceptional care with either choice but knowing both sides of the coin a midwife will give you more time and will listen to what YOU want. We do our best to keep pregnancy and birth normal and refer when beyond our scope. In New Zealand where I work and Ireland where I trained the whole concept is that midwives specialise in the normal and doctors specialise in the abnormal so perhaps see where you and your baby’s health sits and let that decide. Best of luck in your pregnancy and enjoy the experience!
Post # 7
I think that FruitBasket: nails it. You can definitely get what you want with either a midwife or an MD, but it must be the right one for you, and that may take some searching.
Either way, I also recommend finding a doula to support you and be there for you during the birth. We haven’t chosen that route, but I know so many women who have and are thrilled with their decision….take a look at a lot of the birth stories on here that involve a doula and you can get a sense of the role they played and the support they provide.
Post # 8
bestbuddies: For my experience (and this is my first)… I went with and MD who oversaw a midwife practice… essentially, they work in conjunction with one another. I’ve seen my MD only 3 times and I’ll see him again when I deliver. Mostly I’ve worked with my midwife. I am someone who is open to pain management options that include medicine and my midwife has been anything but critical of it. I also wanted to deliver in a hospital (easier process should I need more intensive medical intervention) and there was not one question or criticism. They’ve also offered birthing classes, breastfeeding classes, and some classes on newborn care so that’s been a nice feature as well. It’s been a very laid back and open experience and I never felt intimidated or uncomfortable to ask questions.
Since you mention not having family close by for support, you could talk to your practitioner about any new mommy support groups out there. Some PP’s mention a doula and I have no experience with one so I would say look into that as well per their suggestion. In the end its up to you what you pick and nothing says you can’t switch during your pregnancy if you are unhappy with one practice and find another.
Post # 9
I like how someone already said that midwives specialize in the normal and MDs in the abnormal. I do think that as long as everyone is healthy, why not free up doctors for conditions that call for specialized care?
BUT! in my case everything was normal until labour started, then it all went wrong. I am sure glad I had a good medical team right there around me and the great OB which followed my pregnancy and knew me and was able to perform my emergency c-section when it was required.
At first I wanted a drug-free vaginal birth in a bathtub not in a hospital. DH talked me out of it and it was a good call. I know that at the first sign of problem the midwives would have sent me to the hospital, but the problem is that it was soooo subtle that by the time I would have been sent to the hospital, it may have been too late for the health of my beautiful son.
So… to find the perfect middle ground, I’d try to see if you can work with a midwife in a hospital setting with fast access to a medical team in case of problem. I think the best situation comes when you combine everyone’s strengths.
Post # 10
bestbuddies: Based on your list of what’s important to you, it sounds like you’d fit well with a midwife. If you choose to deliver in a hospital, you’ll still have full access to any medical resources you may need. I come from a family of MDs and I chose a midwife for my pregnancy, and I’m delivering in a hospital. The main thing that struck me about your wants is that you want someone to have a more personal relationship with you, and that is something that midwives value a bit more than MDs. They tend to spend more time with you at each appointment, and they’re with you for a good portion of your labor, whereas an MD will come in a couple times to check you (maybe, if they don’t have a nurse do it) and then to catch the baby.
Post # 11
thank you everyone so much for your responses. I was just looking through my insurance and it looks like they may not even cover midwife’s services. that seems crazy to me, so I will give them a call later to see.
FruitBasket: I agree with you 100% but it is so hard to find a good doctor. Referrals are the best way but thats hard when you need a doctor before you start telling ppl. I feel extremely confused and not sure how to even go about picking a dr or midwife, etc. I got a recommendation from my current dr, so I am hoping that works out. The problem is that I am super picky with Drs and the Dr she recommended me wont even see me until I am 9 weeks and do the ultrasound, etc. I guess I am only in the end of my 6th week so I need to be more patient 🙂
LarLa: I have never heard of this and had to google it. Wow, there are just so many options and I feel like I don’t know what would be best for me. I found a great list of Doula’s in Chicago. thanks!
Jen-bear: thank you for explaining that and taking the time to give details about what you do. Do you happen to know any great midwifes in Chicago Illinois 😀
mommytobee: great way to explain it. I am really leaning more toward a midwife, I just wish I knew someone who could recommend someone, I hately blindly finding someone online, its so difficult. I would say I am probably in the normal, I mean, I am 29 and fairly healthy.
hardtoconcentrate: yes, and having someone more personal is really important to me.
Post # 12
bestbuddies: You have time to figure this out, and to change your mind even within the first trimester. It is really standard that most doctors will nor see you before 9 weeks (knock on wood everything goes well and I wish you a healthy and easy pregnancy!). This will work out, and congrats again 🙂
Post # 13
FruitBasket: thank you so much for your support and kinda words 😀
Post # 14
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
A midwife will only deliver you if you’re low risk. I don’t know for sure, but being overweight might disqualify you because you have a higher chance of complications like pre-eclampsia. However, I highly recommend finding a doula. They can advocate your choices for you during labor so you don’t have to argue with the Dr/nurses and they’ll give you that kind of guidance and support that you’ll need to get through a natural birth. Good luck!
Post # 15
I ended up with both. My midwife had to transfer my care when I developed gestational diabetes, as it put my pregnancy as high risk. My midwife stayed on in a supportive capacity. I am plus sized, that shouldn’t classify you as high risk.
I agree with pp, it’s all about how you connect. To be honest, I liked my ob more, but really liked the extended appointment times with the midwife.