Post # 1
Hello Hive! I’ve been quiet over here, busy with work and school. FI and I were going for a long engagement so I could finish school. Now it’s turning into the never ending engagement. FI got out of AIT in April. He began looking for a job right after that. I use the term “looking for a job” loosely. He applied for a few jobs then complained that his applications weren’t good enough. After I held his hand and basically rewrote his resume, he applied for a few other jobs. Then he sat around waiting for the phone to ring and complaining about not having a job. Then he descided to go back to school to get his associates degree and A&P liscense. Okay, good idea. Then he gets a call about his potential dream job, and he applies for that. He is now playing a waiting game to see if he got into and is going to school or if he got the job. It is now November, seven months without work, schooling, or direction. I’m worried that all he wants to do is screw around and play video games. He is supposed to be going to school in January. His plan takes 2.5 years to finish. I WANTED TO BE MARRIED BY THEN!!! Why did we even get engaged this early?!?! I’m just frustrated. I will be done school in May, and I am trying to have some kind of job by Septemeber. I understand the market is rough, but I just feel like he isn’t taking life seriosuly. Thanks for the vent.
Post # 3
@MsTireSmoke: I’m sorry that your FI is frustrating you. I can definitely understand and would totally be kicking his ass out the door everyday to go find something. Hopefully he gets a fire under his butt soon!
Post # 4
@MsTireSmoke: Wow. That is so frustrating. 7 months. I can only share what I did when my SO was like this. He went through a similar period where his Dad was giving him an allowance to go to Uni (sorry I’m an Aussie :D) but he wasn’t actually at uni and he had no job. So he would just sit at home all day doing nothing, with just enough money to buy himself food and go to the gym. He did this for between 6 months to a year, i’m not sure anymore. But I left him to it, I didn’t nag him (too much) and I even stood up for him when his Dad made fun of him because I was working full time and he had no job (his Dad thinks he should be providing for me and I shouldn’t work… what??). Eventually, he went to uni, got a part time job, decided uni was wrong for him and is now doing a full time, physically exhausting apprenticeship. Just the other day he mentioned he can’t believe he sat on his ass for so long and I should’ve kicked his butt. But he also appreciated that I always love / trust him. Then again, this is different as we were young and only just living together and 100% then and now, our money is our individual money. I worked full time so I got anything I wanted for myself and he didn’t, so he got groceries and that was it. If we went out and I paid, he “owed” me that money, I think once he started working full time he had just under $1000 owing to me. Sorry, I realise this is long and I’m not sure if it helps, but if I could have a do-over, I’d definitely kick his butt and we could be 6 months ahead of where we are now! 🙂
Post # 5
@ParisM: @WhiteWedding: Thanks ladies! I know I have to light a fire under his butt. It’s just hard when he feels like he’s doing everything right.