Post # 1
My Mother-In-Law and I have always had a rocky relationship, and she made it quite obvious that I was not the perfect match for her son. I was never invited to family events until recently, and she would always tell my fiance that he needed to explore the dating scene a little more. Although I’ve had my ranting sessions to my sisters, I have always been nice and calm towards her. Fast forward to this weekend. My fiance and I went to visit his family, and I asked if she had been looking for a dress. It is two months away, so I thought it was a legit question. She said she just recently bought one, and my fiance asked to see it. When she brought it out for us to see, she uncovered a WHITE LONG dress with SEQUENCE! I told her it was a pretty dress, but I did not know how to respond. I feel like we are living the Monster-in-Law movie! It does bother me that our dresses look so similar. Do I tell her? Just let it go? What do I do?
Post # 3
I would have your fiance talk to her I think (I would be upset, too, by the way, good luck!)
Post # 4
That is just a big no no… chances are, she probably knows this. I think everyone just knows that is not a good idea for a wedding. I’d have your Fiance talk to her too since it sounds like you are not confrontational… but make it clear to him that he needs to express what a big deal it is and that it won’t only be you, but your guests will also be wondering what in the world she is thinking.
Post # 5
Wow. You must have more self control than I do, cause I would have blown up if my Future Mother-In-Law pulled something like that. Good for you for keeping your cool, but you should def have the Fiance talk to her about that. I’m sure she knows that it would be totally inappropriate. She’s clearly just trying to push your buttons.
Post # 6
Have your fiance talk to her. If he still isn’t able to get through to her, then let it go since she’s only going out of her way to make herself look bad. There isn’t really anything you are able to do at this point without causing a deeper rift between you, even though none of this is your fault at all, despite what she may tell you.
Post # 7
I’d go ahead and just let her wear it. Most people know this is bad etiquette. Let her look like a jerk. Harsh, perhaps. But it’s your wedding day, no one is going to outshine you, no matter what they’re wearing.
Post # 8
I agree that BeesGees is right, she’s going to look like a major jerk in that dress and everyone is probably going to comment amongst themselves that it was in poor taste. So if she wants to embarrass herself, let her! She certainly will not outshine you, the bride. Once the guests note how dumb she looks, they will move on and forget all about her, because the focal point of the whole day is you and Fiance.
However, if you really, really want to be the only one in white at your wedding, have your Fiance talk to her, especially given the nature of the relationship between you and Future Mother-In-Law.
Post # 9
I”m with Blood and BeeGees! This makes her look like a fool, not you! Just wondering—is Future Mother-In-Law attractive?
Post # 10
Oh, I would be so pissed off! I kinda agree that if she wears it, she’s going to look like an idiot. I would still have my Fiance talk to her though. How inappropriate!
Post # 11
omg! straight out of MONSTER-IN-LAW!
i told my mother, his mother, and my grandmothers….”NO white, offwhite, ivory, champagne, eggshell, or any other shade of any of those colors”
i would tell her, or have your Fiance tell her. that’s so inappropriate.
Post # 12
I’d take the high road and let her look like an absolute idiot. I’d say to my Fiance that she probably doesn’t know that it’s in bad taste. He may say something to her but at least you didn’t start any trouble by complaining to him. She’s obviously doing it to ruffle your feathers. Don’t let it.
Post # 13
This is going to be the first in a long line of passive aggressive moves your Future Mother-In-Law will make throughout your marriage. It is up to your Fiance to set boundaries. He’s made a choice, she needs to get behind the marriage, and not intefere. You need your Fiance to stand up for you.
In this specific case, he should explain that its inappropriate for anyone but the bride to wear white, and he would like her to change it. He should also say that you had nothing to do with this request (because then you can play peacemaker and rise-above-it-all FDIL). If she doesn’t change, then yes, fine, let her look like an arse. But, if he tries, he can get practice for all the other times she’s going to be a nightmere in the future. All my sympathy and good luck!
Post # 14
I would have your fiance casually mention that it’s regarded as poor taste to wear white to a wedding (which I’m pretty sure she already knows, but I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt), and then after that just let her wear it. She’s the one who’ll look bad.
Post # 15
I agree with everyone else. Have your fiance mention the whole “no one wears white to a wedding” thing, and then let her go from there. Everyone in attendance will realize what she’s doing.
Post # 16
Thanks for all of your help! I did ask my Fiance to talk to her about it. So, we’ll see what happens from there. You bees are great inspiration!