Post # 1
My fiance and I are getting married soon and we are getting our rings tattooed on. The main reason for this is because we both work at jobs where we can’t wear jewelry.
So for our ceremony, we asked my MIL to borrow rings because we just needed something symbolic for the ceremony. Instead, she took it upon her self to buy us our wedding bands. I don’t want to come off as ungrateful, because it is a very generous gesture, but no one understands why this ring means absolutely nothing to me. It wasn’t picked out by my FI, he has had absolutely nothing to do with it, and so it feels like just a chunk of metal.
I asked for them to be returned, but they were already getting sized, and so now they are non-returnable.
Neither of us wanted rings, but he wouldn’t say anything to his mom about it.
Am I being ridiculous? We thought long and hard about bands and decided to do the tattoos instead.
Post # 3
I would jsut use them for the wedding and keep them as a keepsake. Maybe your kids will want them when they get married. Or if you are that against them, pawn them after the wedding. Just don’t ever tell FMIL because she will probably be very hurt.
Post # 4
My FIL wore his band for a grand total of 5 days out of their 40 year marriage (the compromise was to wear it for the honeymoon). He keeps his in a box and it will go to his grandson when he gets married. My FI is wearing the almost new wedding ring his grandfather wore once. Be grateful, don’t change your plans, and keep them for the future!
Post # 5
I agree with @Handful – they are a keepsake. They should mean more to you than the “symbolic ring” you asked to borrow because they came from your FMIL. They can be kept as a treasured family heirloom and given to your future children down the road!
Post # 6
Nope. I’d feel the same in your situation and I wouldn’t wear it any other time than for the ceremony. If i wear a tattoo persons I’d probably steal this idea
If the MIL took it upon herself to buy the bands then that’s her own choice and you can be gracious about the gift but when and where you wear it is entirely up to you.
Do you think the expectation will now be that you wear those rings when you aren’t at work?
Also do you have any pictures of what the tattos will look like? I’m intrigued 🙂
Post # 7
I would just graciously accept them. You don’t have to wear them if you don’t want (and if your MIL sees you without them just remind her that your jobs prohibit jewelry and so you can’t wear them regularly). Is she very traditional? I could see her buying them for you maybe because she doesn’t like the idea of the tattoos (I get it…if I told my mom we were tattooing our wedding bands on she would flip out and prob go out and buy us rings to try and convince us not to tattoo them). You also asked her to borrow rings so maybe she thought she was doing something sweet by gifting them to you, instead of just lending them. Whatever the reason, she’ll probably be kind of hurt if you tell her you don’t want them. Pick your battles. This one doesn’t seem worth it.
Post # 8
It sucks that she went against your wishes, but I wouldn’t get rid of them and lie to FMIL about it. Won’t she be suspicious if she never sees them? I like the idea of keeping them as a wedding keepsake. Maybe find a place in your house to display them so that FMIL knows you appreciated the gesture but you still don’t have to wear them on a daily basis.
Post # 9
BUMP! Yes, please post pictures of your actual ring tattoos or ideas you have at least! I love this idea but *can’t* do it because of my very conservative job. 🙁
Post # 10
Some people don’t understand the tattooed wedding ring idea, so I’m sure she didn’t do it to be hurtful. I would use them for the ceremony, and keep them as a keepsake, like PP’s suggested. It will probably mean a lot to her. Your tattoos will be what you two love, and that’s all that matter.
Post # 11
I love the tattoo idea! I have a friend who got tattooed rings and she gets asked about it all the time by random ppl – grocery store, etc. Some people make fun of it and mockingly ask, “is that your wedding ring?” and smirk. But she doesn’t mind the sometimes negative views.
I would keep the rings to wear sometimes or to pass on to children. I wouldn’t take offense to it. It’s a sincere and genuine gift. It doesn’t mean you have to wear them all the time or even at all. Just as with any other gift, accept it graciously and do what you want with it.
Post # 12
Thanks everyone! I just needed some different points of view.
Post # 13
i would love to see what tattoo ring ideas your thiking of
Post # 14
I would not say anything or let your FI say anything to her. Like a previous poster said, you could just keep them and maybe use them sometimes or pass them on to your children. How about getting them engraved to make them more special?
Post # 15
These sound like great ideas!! Or maybe you guys can wear them to like dinner or something when you see her 🙂 But I think it would be really cute to have some type of display of them in your home.
Post # 16
Agree with PP’s who said keep them as a keepsake.
ANother thing to consider- maybe FMIL felt weird about you guys borrowing her rings for your ceremony and by purchasing you some rings is her way of not bringing that up. I mean I have read a lot of posts by bees being upset about people asking to try on their rings let alone borrow them!