(Closed) MIL bought our wedding bands

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would jsut use them for the wedding and keep them as a keepsake.  Maybe your kids will want them when they get married.  Or if you are that against them, pawn them after the wedding.  Just don’t ever tell FMIL because she will probably be very hurt.

Post # 4
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My FIL wore his band for a grand total of 5 days out of their 40 year marriage (the compromise was to wear it for the honeymoon). He keeps his in a box and it will go to his grandson when he gets married. My FI is wearing the almost new wedding ring his grandfather wore once. Be grateful, don’t change your plans, and keep them for the future!

Post # 5
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with @Handful – they are a keepsake. They should mean more to you than the “symbolic ring” you asked to borrow because they came from your FMIL. They can be kept as a treasured family heirloom and given to your future children down the road!

Post # 6
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Nope. I’d feel the same in your situation and I wouldn’t wear it any other time than for the ceremony. If i wear a tattoo persons I’d probably steal this idea

If the MIL took it upon herself to buy the bands then that’s her own choice and you can be gracious about the gift but when and where you wear it is entirely up to you.

Do you think the expectation will now be that you wear those rings when you aren’t at work? 

Also do you have any pictures of what the tattos will look like? I’m intrigued 🙂

Post # 7
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I would just graciously accept them. You don’t have to wear them if you don’t want (and if your MIL sees you without them just remind her that your jobs prohibit jewelry and so you can’t wear them regularly). Is she very traditional? I could see her buying them for you maybe because she doesn’t like the idea of the tattoos (I get it…if I told my mom we were tattooing our wedding bands on she would flip out and prob go out and buy us rings to try and convince us not to tattoo them). You also asked her to borrow rings so maybe she thought she was doing something sweet by gifting them to you, instead of just lending them. Whatever the reason, she’ll probably be kind of hurt if you tell her you don’t want them. Pick your battles. This one doesn’t seem worth it. 

Post # 8
Member
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

It sucks that she went against your wishes, but I wouldn’t get rid of them and lie to FMIL about it. Won’t she be suspicious if she never sees them? I like the idea of keeping them as a wedding keepsake. Maybe find a place in your house to display them so that FMIL knows you appreciated the gesture but you still don’t have to wear them on a daily basis.

Post # 9
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

BUMP! Yes, please post pictures of your actual ring tattoos or ideas you have at least! I love this idea but *can’t* do it because of my very conservative job. 🙁

Post # 10
Member
2032 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Some people don’t understand the tattooed wedding ring idea, so I’m sure she didn’t do it to be hurtful.  I would use them for the ceremony, and keep them as a keepsake, like PP’s suggested.  It will probably mean a lot to her.  Your tattoos will be what you two love, and that’s all that matter.  

Post # 11
Member
4662 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I love the tattoo idea! I have a friend who got tattooed rings and she gets asked about it all the time by random ppl – grocery store, etc. Some people make fun of it and mockingly ask, “is that your wedding ring?” and smirk. But she doesn’t mind the sometimes negative views.

I would keep the rings to wear sometimes or to pass on to children. I wouldn’t take offense to it. It’s a sincere and genuine gift. It doesn’t mean you have to wear them all the time or even at all. Just as with any other gift, accept it graciously and do what you want with it.

Post # 13
Member
4662 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

i would love to see what tattoo ring ideas your thiking of

Post # 14
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would not say anything or let your FI say anything to her. Like a previous poster said, you could just keep them and maybe use them sometimes or pass them on to your children. How about getting them engraved to make them more special? 

Post # 15
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Handful:  +1

@Pollywog:  +1

These sound like great ideas!! Or maybe you guys can wear them to like dinner or something when you see her 🙂 But I think it would be really cute to have some type of display of them in your home.

Post # 16
Member
8322 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Agree with PP’s who said keep them as a keepsake.

ANother thing to consider- maybe FMIL felt weird about you guys borrowing her rings for your ceremony and by purchasing you some rings is her way of not bringing that up. I mean I have read a lot of posts by bees being upset about people asking to try on their rings let alone borrow them!

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