(Closed) MIL demands

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Why are people coming to the wedding that don’t even recognize his name? Honestly, that’s silly!

Post # 4
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@pittsteelergirl:  I feel like if you’re paying for it then you should have the final say. Especially if you believe that doing it your way will be better for everyone since your parents are getting divorced. The way you are going to word it sounds fine to me.

Post # 6
Member
5425 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

@pittsteelergirl:  well since theyre the invitations for YOUR wedding, her name is entirely optional

Post # 7
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

etiquette wise, unless she is paying for the wedding, her name does not even have to go on the invitation…..

I think “together with their parents” is a great solution for divorced families…..I have to remember that for my invites!

Post # 8
Member
3699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Traditional etiquette says that the hosts of the wedding get their name on the invite.  That means she has to PAY UP.  🙂 

We put “Me & Him along with our parents invite you…” since both of ours contributed some and helped us plan, but we paid for everything.  We also wanted to at least mention them. 

And we didn’t invited anyone we don’t know!!  That’s crazy, to me.  She can follow up her invites with a phonecall to make sure they recieved the invite to her son’s wedding if she’s that worried.

I mean, wow… I would never expect an invite to their weddings, but I know my coworkers’ kids’ names!

Post # 9
Member
2282 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I understand the FMIL’s wanting her name on the invitation – it’s traditional and probably what she always expected. But I agree with @MissOtter: if you’re inviting people to a wedding, no matter how big, who won’t recognize the name of either the bride or the groom, it might be time to rethink the guest list. 

That said, do try to accommodate her if you can manage it. There are guides for invitation wording that take into account both sets of parents being divorced – see if you can find one that might offer a compromise.

Post # 10
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I wouldn’t directly share those ideas with her until it can’t be changed. Sneaky yes but sometimes necessary!

Post # 12
Member
7463 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MissOtter:  Why are people coming to the wedding that don’t even recognize his name? Honestly, that’s silly!

Thats what I was thinking. Makes no sense. I say stick to you guns, because this will be the first of many of her objections, i’m sure.

Post # 14
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@pittsteelergirl:  Don’t listen to your FMIL. Print the invitations the way you want them, she has 0% say in the matter. Tell your FI he better have your back, too, because this isn’t up for debate. I agree with @bricon: try to respectfully keep decisions from FMIL until after they’ve been finalized if you can. It sounds like you already made a big compromise by inviting people she thinks “won’t know her [son’s] name.”!

Post # 15
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

If people dont’ even know his name why aare they invited? Ignore her let your Fi deal with her. She has no rights to make that demand.

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