Post # 1
So I’ve had MIL drama pretty much ever since FI and I were dating. We, MIL and I had a huge blow up about 4 years in, and then another smaller one about 1.5 years ago. After that she assured we are all good. Things were great, we chatted more than ever, and it felt sincere.
<br />Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, and FI was calmly saying we don’t want his druggy, deadbeat cousin to the wedding. He shows up drunk, steals money from the family, and swears at Grandma. So we just thought, you know? No, no invite. She FLIPPED calling him a poor excuse of a family member. And hung up. <br />Yesterday, he texted her saying are we good now? Seeing as it was 2 weeks no contact. She goes ‘No.’ He goes, all right well we need to talk. She goes something to the effect of, Well is Haruyou’s DAD going to be there? FI goes, what does that mean…? She goes, Im going to bed I have a midterm tomorrow.
<br />My mom was a single mom my whole life, and about 7 years ago got remarried. He’s great! Anywho, my biological father is NOT in the picture in the sightest. She knows that. What does she mean by that?? Like, I kind of thought, who does she think she is, you know? … Biological Father recently stepped into my step sisters life after she had a hysterectomy. Then he left again, literally, after 15 years of being gone he just up and elft again no warnings nothing.
Any suggestions on how to handle this? I thought we were all good she said so… I can’t help but think this isn’t about cousin and the wedding anymore? I’m not sure…
This topic was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by Haruyou.
Post # 2
Haruyou: I wouldn’t take it too personally, you two I am sure have a lot on your plate. The last thing you need is to over analyze your MIL’s snooty comments. She is just upset, I would let her hash it out with the FI and have him handle her since he knows her best. You interfering might just make you more upset or make her a little more crazy.
For her to bring up your past is non of her business, so ignoring her comment will just solidify that. At least I think it will. Be the better person.
Post # 3
Kendrao: I try to be the better person but sometimes it’s hard. 🙁 <br />But you don’t think it was a personal attack? I can’t help but jump to, well four years ago you did this so its back! <br />What can we do about the cousin though? We really don’t want him there, but she is hell bent on having him there…
Post # 4
Haruyou: It is possible she could be making it a personal attack, but that is why you stand your ground and don’t jump to her level. It would be pointless and only make you more upset. She is throwing a fit and trying to start drama over petty bullshit, so to me, that isn’t worth your time.
As for the cousin, if he is that innapropriate and disrespectful then I wouldn’t invite him. If your MIL is paying for the weddnig though, I would maybe just explain to her your reasoning behind it and leave it at that. If she isn’t paying for the wedding then she has no say and needs no explanation. You will always run into those issues, but bottom line, it is a day for you and your FI, not your cousin and not your MIL.
Post # 5
Haruyou: Wow, how totally rude and inconsiderate of your MIL to throw that in your face like that.
I would just ignore it and invite ( or not invite) whoever you want to the wedding. Its your day and if you and your FI are on the same page about the cousin, have your FI tell her that he is not invited, isn’t welcome and no further discussion is needed about it.
I would also keep my private details of my life from MIL after this point…she has proven she will use them to attack you. Shame on her.