MIL Drama – DD's sleep schedule not good enough for her

posted 2 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Oh man. I would tell her “too bad” about the santa thing.  Just say, well, we’re going in the morning, and if you want to join us you can.  But my FMIL is crazy, so I have a “last straw” point-of-view.

Best of luck, OP.

Post # 3
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

*hugs*

Post # 4
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

Yea, I agree, no need for drama.  The mistake here is you FI giving into him mom.  You are the parents, you set the schedule.  The End.

Post # 5
Member
1905 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

It kind of seems like a small thing to get so upset at. 

Her grandma is driving 4 hours total to take her grandchild to see Santa. You don’t even know if she will sleep past 2. I would put her down a half hour early, and tell her when she wakes up Grandma will be here to see her! 

Post # 6
Member
7265 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

It’s pretty sad that she isn’t being flexible to your DD’s schedule. I’d probably tell her yOI don’t think it will work out, and you’re going to take her to see Santa in the morning.

Post # 7
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 

cls9q: Do you have a small child?  They thrive on routines and if thrown off oh boy, all hell can break lose.  There are many hours in a day. If MIL can not respect the parents of the child in question on the child’s routine then yeah to bad so sad.

Little story to put this in prespective.  My son who is 3 still needs his afternoon nap.  If he gets woken up from his nap by someone he is soo cranky and whiny. It is just best to let him sleep.  It has taken us easily 45 min to 1 hour to just get him to calm down and to be somewhat non cranky if woken up from his nap.

Post # 8
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee

ChocolateLime:  I don’t have a baby of my own but I have a few friends that do so I know how sucky it is for them when something messes up babies sleep schedule.

Tell your mother in law too bad, if she wants to take DD to see Santa she does it in the morning when DD will be awake. I can’t believe she thinks it is an inconvenience to HER that DD’s sleep schedule doesn’t work with the fact she doesn’t want to drive over earlier. 

Post # 9
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

For the issue at hand, honestly, I would just suck it up and allow the MIL to come early. Yes, it will mean DD will be crabby and it sounds like you are the poor soul who will have to deal with the outcome. But, it is an event that the MIL is requesting specifically to spend time with her granddaughter (which you complain she doesn’t seem to do enough) and it’s Santa, which is a one-time yearly occurrence. You should also consider that perhaps from your MIL’s perspective, she’s doing you a favor by taking your daughter for a few hours so you can have a little time to yourself. 

But on the whole, I think there’s a bigger problem here, which is that you seem to think that the rest of the world should accommodate your child’s nap schedule and you’re disturbed when they don’t. The truth is, no one has to accommodate your child’s routine–even grandparents. We all have other things going on in our lives and different priorities–your MIL may not be a toddler-loving sort of person (my own MIL is not a ‘baby person’). So, you have to pick your battles. If it’s important to you that your DD has a relationship with your MIL (and I think it is), then I would acquiesce to the Santa thing, but if your MIL were to ask you out for dinner and you know based on experience that she’s not going to choose a child-friendly restaurant or a convenient time, then get babysitter or don’t go. 

Post # 10
Member
1905 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Sassygrn:  I don’t, but I did work at a preschool for 2 years for 11 hours a day. Nap time never lasts long, one kid starts crying and they all wake up. They were upset at first, but the rest of the day certainly isn’t ruined. Idk, waking your kid up before their nap ends just doesn’t seem like a huge deal to me. I see why OP is annoyed though, with all the other things her MIL has done! 

Post # 13
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 

cls9q:  Working daycare and having a child is 2 different things. I myself have worked daycare also.  So I know what you mean.  But when it is your own child and having to break their routine is different from if/and when they are awoken up at daycare.  (most likely they are used to that at daycare)

Post # 14
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

ChocolateLime:  Like I said, I think that in this instance, to me, it makes sense to do. Your DH wants her there, she wants to see DD, it’s Santa. I mean, I can see your irritation, but I can also see her perspective, which is that she made a gesture to drive 4 hours (!) to and from your house and you won’t budge on a sleep schedule? 

Post # 15
Member
7265 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

The point of seeing Santa is for your DD to have a good experience. It’s not going to be a good experience for anyone if she’s cranky. Do what’s best for you and DD.

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