(Closed) MIL Drama ( Sorry can’t save it for my llama)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
596 posts
Busy bee

Let FI and his family handle this.  If MIL puts you on the spot about this, you just have to let her know that the grandparents mean the world to FI and he wants them there and she really needs to discuss this with him.  This is not your place to say or do much, other than support whatever your FI wants.

Good luck!

Post # 4
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Let your FIL deal with your MIL.  I would also have your fiance call his grandparents and let them know, without revealing what you already know, how excited you both are for the wedding and how much you look forward to having them there.

 Good luck!

Post # 5
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I think that:
A) Your FH should talk with your FMIL.  Always.
B) Your FMIL is acting childish, and knows it, and that’s why she’s defensive
C) If your FH wants his PGP (Paternal Grandparents) there, then they should be there.  Your FMIL needs to grow up, and be a big girl for her son’s big day.  The nerve!!
D) You should both write a special invitation or make a special phone call assuring them that they are invited, will be welcome, and that you love them. 
E) Keep them on the guest list.  If your FMIL wigs out, refer her to your FH who should tell her that they are HIS guests and WILL be in attendance.

Post # 6
2641 posts
Sugar bee

OH man.  I agree with the above posters.  I think that when your Fi talks to his omom, he should be sure to say how much he loves her and how she has a special place in his heart.  But that there is also a place for his grandparents.  No matter how she feels about them, they are a part of him.  And also hold a place in his heart.  It doesn’t mean he’s trying to disrespect her or hurt her.  For his sake, I hope everyone can behave well enough to make for a special wedding day.

Yu didn’t say, but I’m wondering if FMIL and FFIL are divorced.  If so, and are not getting along well, I wouldn’t recommend having him talk to her.  But if they have a good relationship, I think FFIL should have a talk with her too.

Post # 8
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Aww I’m so sorry!!   It totally sucks for you to be in the middle of it (I’m in the middle of some drama on my FH’s side as well).  I think you need to just come to terms with the fact that you cannot do anything ABOUT the situation.  It’s not your family/parents so you can’t and shouldn’t say anything.  Your role right now is to be there for your FH.  He’s probably stressed out even more since it’s HIS mother causing all this.  Focus your energy on him and I’m sure something will work out.  I really hope your FMIL will come to her senses and realize she’s causing her own son a lot of stress.  Hope everything gets figured out soon!!  Keep us updated about what happens!

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