(Closed) MIL dress…

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hm this is a tough one.  I don’t think anyone would appreciate a list of guidelines like that  … even tho I totally understand where your coming from!  Why don’t you ask her to go shopping? That way you can make a day of it.  Go to a few places, give your opinion, and hopefully the two of you can compromise on something that she likes and that you approve.  

Post # 4
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hmmmm, our dear friend Emily Post says (about MOB & MOG):

“-Try not to wear clothes that are the same as or similar to the bride’s and bridesmaid’s dresses…

-It’s preferable that the mothers wear different colors, so consult with the other mother and/or stepmothers about color…

-The length of your gown or dress is your choice, even for formal weddings. Long dresses and skirts are fine for any wedding from noon on. Mothers of the bride and groom do not have to wear the same length, though many do, feeling that the same length creates a more harmonious look, especially in wedding photos.”

 

Honestly, I’d have your mom call her and discuss what she’s wearing in order to create a game plan with your FMIL for her attire. I mean, hopefully after talking to your mom, she will follow suit and dress appropriately. If not, that’s on her. I feel like you’ll have to let it go/go with what she chooses. Cry

Post # 5
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

agreed, that’s quite restricting. I’d say colour and length is about the only say you get, and even then- it’s a suggestion.

Post # 6
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Why not offer to buy the dress for her, and take her shopping?

Post # 8
Member
5755 posts
Bee Keeper

I see no reason a grown woman should be told what she can wear and what she can’t. The wedding is a big occasion for her too, so she should look and feel her best as will your Mom. You might get lucky and she’ll let you have your way, but if she normally buys clothes on the flashy side, she won’t be comfortable in a plain jane dress.

I’d let it go.

Post # 9
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I know most people are in the camp of not telling the grown women (MOB and MOG) what they have to wear. In my culture, the bride picks the colors and the families follow suit – including cousins, siblings and aunts (aunts/cousins if they are closer with the bride and groom). Like at my wedding, the two mothers were closely coordinated with the wedding party so I’m all for the MOB and MOG being closely coordinated and being told a color. I would let her know the colors that you think would look best based on the coordination factor with your mom and then let her know that everyone else will be in short dresses and you think it would look great if she were too because of pictures. I think you should let it go about the bling though. I mean if she shows up in something embarrassing, that’s on he,r and unless she asks you to help her pick it out you don’t want to be too restricting. Like my mother in law was asked to wear black but I really had no control over what the dress itself looked like.

Post # 11
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

But you are still trying to tell her what to wear! Although I do think it’s normal for MOG to try to match the formality level of the MOB and avoid the MOB’s color, I don’t think you can really dictate what style of dress she wears.

Also, think about it in the sense that she is your FMIL, you will have to deal with her for your whole life, is it really worth causing bad blood over this? The family pictures are trivial compared to a lifetime of not getting along with MIL. The reality is, family pictures go in an album that gets pulled out a couple times a year, if that. The pictures you care about from your wedding are going to be of you and yours hubs! So I say let it go, it’s not worth the drama.

 

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