Post # 1
I just need to vent….
My future MIL is driving me crazy. Every time I think she can’t do something else rude or inconsiderate, she does.
Let’s start when my fiance and I told her we were getting married. First she was shocked. She said she did not expect it. (We had been dating for 2 years and we are both in our 30s). Then she had to excuse herself for a 1/2 hour. When she came back we had an hour long conversation on what was going to happen with my fiance’s brother, since they lived together. All that happened over a year ago.
Then trying to get a guest list from her was a nightmare. It took months, I mean several months of asking. Then 2 weeks after invitations were sent out she wanted to add more to the list.
Let’s get back to the brother. He has lived with my finace rent free for almost 2 years. I moved in 6 months ago and he did not move out unti a couple of weeks ago. But actually he just doesn’t come to the house anymore. All his stuff is still there. And he is not moving it out until the 25th. I guess that wuldn’t bother me so much if my future MIL hadn’t told us that my finace’s grandma had to stay at our house the Thursday before the wedding. Never mind that we aren’t even going to be home!! So she is staying at our home on the 30th. We are leaving on the 29th. Since the brother refuses to move out any earlier than the 25, that gives us a whopping 1 weekend day to get a room together for the grandma. Gee thanks!
Now to top it all off, I am having a stylist come to the hotel where we are staying to do hair and makeup for my bridesmaids and I and my mom. I asked my MIL is she wanted in on the service about 3 weeks ago and told her I needed to know asap because contracts needed to be signed. She said yes…ok fine. Now, 17 days before the wedding she askes if we can add her sister and mom to the service. Really? Did I tell you to ask other people to come to my room hours before the wedding to get their hair and makeup done? Does she not think that maybe I want people I know around my the hours before the wedding? Does she get that this is my day?
Oh, and as an added tidbit. She had to be told (not by me) not to wear ivory to the wedding because she was totally planning on getting an ivory dress, even though I told her my dress is ivory.
I am seriously worried about any drama she might cause on the actual wedding day. I thikn she is going to try her best to make the wedding all about her and her family.
Whew! Felt good to get all that out…
Post # 3
Lol. There is just something about MILs! They seem to be a special breed…
Just remember to breathe and it may be best if you and your fiance talk and decide on how to handle both of your parents.
We agreed that if there were problems with one of our parents we would tell each other, and the child of the parent that one of us is having a problem with would need to talk to them to fix the problem. Or in some cases tell them to not bring certain things up or tell you what you should do in your relationship.
It may be best if the two of you talk and make sure she understands that certain things need to be done by a certain time, and if she is late telling you something or forgets something, tough. Its your wedding and you shouldn’t be so stressed out.(p.s. not meaning that to come across as harsh, she just needs to understand there are boundaries)
Hope it helps and one other thing to remember…. you are not the only bride with problems with MIL
Post # 4
My FMIL does everything but wipe my FI’s a**. I feel your pain. I told him that it is time to leave the nest. He’s an encore groom and you would think the first wife would’ve stopped that. Maybe it is something about the fact that he got divorced and FMIL felt like she had to step back in. Who knows but it is annoying.
Post # 5
My FMIL is the same way – this wedding is all about her and her family coming to visit. When I made the seating chart, she said she didn’t need to sit at the table with all the parents and grandparents, she wants to be close to her brothers and sisters. When my fiancee (her son!) scheduled a golf tournament the morning of the wedding, she scheduled another event for her family (my family wasn’t invited) because she didn’t think they would want to golf. My mom invited a bunch of ladies (bridesmaids, aunts, grandmoms) to get manicures the day before the wedding, she didn’t want to come.
When there is a big party like a wedding, I think everyone wants to make it about them – maybe not consciously, but they want out of it what they want. To the bride, that sometimes seems crazy. Maybe she will go back to her normal, only semi-crazy self after the wedding!?
Post # 6
Wow…isn’t it all so much fun? My mom is the same way and it drives my man crazy! She is pretending that she has to go to a therapist because we are getting married! She also has her friends send me emails so she can see how I respond to them…last time she did this, she accused my fiance of writing back because it wasn’t my writing style. I hope your MIL gets better before the big day because she is being really unfair and disrespectful to you! I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of this!
Post # 7
Yeah, I doubt it will get better. Everyday it’s some new thing with her. She ignored the wedding plans for so long, now she is trying to make it all about her. I sat at a famil dinner the other day when people all around me talked about the wedding. About what they were wearing and other things and you would have thought I wasn’t even in the room. No one asked or talked to me about any of it. I just sat there listening. sigh
Post # 8
Ack, hugs to you all with the horrible MIL’s! My father’s mom was horrible to my mom. She’s racist, and my mom is half korean. Yes, half korean. She actually gave my mother USED sik pantyhose as a Christmas gift one year…just weird stuff! Hopefully it’s just the wedding bringing this all out!
Post # 9
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. From all of the posts I’ve read on weddingbee it seems like mil issues are pretty big with most brides. She has no idea she is being unreasonable because she only sees things from her own pov. Your fh needs to sit down with her and explain things from your (meaning you and your fh’s) pov. I don’t think she will cause scene at your wedding or reception. Once the actual day is there people have a tendency to finally "get it" and let it be the couples day.
Post # 10
Just hugs…my MIL is going to be a pain, especially when we have kids, but nothing like this or any of the stories I read here or on an etiquette board I frequent. I don’t know how you ladies handle it 🙁
Post # 11
What is up with MILs? Irishgirl I feel your pain. Mine is a pain the butt but she has gotten better. When my fiance and I first got engaged she was devastated and didn’t like it at all . I guess she’s gotten over it and has accepted me but she still has her moments. She just annoys the crap out of me and always wants attention. She really thinks the world should revolve around her.