(Closed) MIL from Hell

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You’re not alone. My FMIL once told me that she was happy my father wasn’t her father (he was injured and crabby from the pain), she constantly plays the guilt game, she accused us of being selfish for renovating the family cottage (we paid for everything and did the job ourselves), and a bunch of other things. Now, I’ve given back – so I guess I’m not the perfect obedient FDIL… But I had to put down my foot for my own self-respect! This fall it became so bad that she sent us an email stating that she won’t come for the wedding. Only to pretend none of that happened as soon Christmas came around…

I think we’re dealing with women that deep down are scared of losing control and holds on to their boys as hard as they can as they resent change and losing power. So no quick fix, they won’t change. The only think that works is distancing yourself from her and hope that she eventually steps over the line so much that she drives a permanent wedge between herself and her son. I know it’s not a good solution to it, but perhaps the only thing that will give the two of you piece.

Post # 4
Member
4956 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow. What a nasty person! As long as her son is happy, that’s all that should matter. What is her reasoning for not liking you?

I would have gone to the funeral anyway and wouldn’t have let that woman determine who could/couldn’t go.

I’m glad your husband is on your side. It’s going to be difficult, but as long as you two have a united front, you should be ok. I’m sorry you are having to go through this. It’s too bad that she doesn’t realize that, by being nasty to you, she’s hurting her son.

Post # 5
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@bmw2011:  

I am sorry that this person is not so nice to you. I have also had a horrible experience with my (step) FMIL. 

I have learned to put things in perspective to not let her get to me. She will never change and she may never change her opinion of you; that being said, I think it is time to let it all go. I know how you feel. I also wanted a good relationship with her and I was so eager to please. But I realized her approval is unecessary and this woman has a lot of issues with herself that she is externalizing on my relationship with her step son. 

What I did was, after our engagement, I called (or you can meet with her) and I talked to her. I basically said : ” I know we do not see eye to eye and that I did not choose you nor did you choose me. But the truth of the matter is, I am going to marry your son and I will be part of your life, for the rest of your life. I want to have a good relationship with you, let’s put everything behind us and move on.” <- that really shut her up !

 

Post # 6
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m so sorry you are dealing with something like this. I have similar issues, however my FI is still in denial. I hope everything works out for you! Best of luck!

Post # 7
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You’re not alone! my MIL is just as evil as yours.  When I started reading your post I was wondering if it was mine lol She put me through hell and back – and she really crossed the line a few weeks before our wedding when she called him and literally bitched him out for about 15 minutes about how he’s making a mistake and she kept on asking him why he can’t see he’s making a mistake and blah blah blah blah blah.

Long story short… I haven’t seen her since Christmas… after everything she put me through I told my fiance (hubby now) that after the wedding I don’t want to be around her – he said he understands and is perfectly fine with it.

So it is what it is…

Post # 8
Member
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

UGH dont even get me started!!! Yell

MIL hates me BUT the feeling is mutual and i honestly dont care Undecided

She wasnt around when SO and i started dating so i met her a month before we got engaged and off the bat i felt she didnt like me but i kept trying, she would diss me and not say hi to me, turn her back on me when i was talking, im a very bitchy person but hey i thought its HIS mom i have to be nice, so whenever i would see her i would act like nothing happened.

BUT once i got pregnant that was it, Were both mexican and light skinned everyone in our family is light skinned. MIL mentioned what if baby is born dark skinned? Yell

WHAAAT? i asked her what she was trying to say and from where in the hell would LO be dark skinned?

Even my BIL got mad and told her to shut up.

but yeah after that she left to mexico and THANK GOD i never see her so happy ending lol Sealed

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