Post # 1
Easy question. Does the MIL get ready with the bride and all the girls? She will not be getting her hair done and she said she didn’t think she would do her make up either. She hasn’t come out and said she wants to be there but she did get ready with her other Daughter in law. She also has lead me to believe that she plans on not being with her son on the day of the wedding. I had always thought the mothers are with their kids expect for getting their hair done.
So what is the norm? I don’t want to hurt her feelings or my moms feelings for including someone she doesn’t think should be there.
Post # 3
Do you not want her there?? I gave the option of my FMIL to spend the day with us, but I assumed that she would want to be with her son. I was right. I would say its her choice, if she rather be with all the girls that day and you dont mind…
Post # 4
Mine came in and out, but she wasn’t there the whole time and didn’t get ready with us. She just liked to come in and cry and tell me how beautiful I was and take pictures =) The whole experience was just a little overwhelming for her I think. She liked being able to come and go as she pleased.
Post # 5
My FMIL is getting her hair done with us but I imagine she will stick close with the girls most of the morning. Once at the church, I’m sure she will bounce back and forth between the groom’s room and mine.
If you wanted a special moment with your mom you could always ask everyone but her to leave while you put on your dress. That way it is just the two of you and it acts as a surprise for FMIL and bridesmaids when they see you.
Post # 6
I don’t think mine will be with me. I really like her but I just want the morning of to be as calm and low-key as possible. The more people that are there, the more of an “event” it will be, ya know? I think the night before the wedding I’m going to go stay in a hotel with one of my BM and let my FI and his family have our house to get ready in. I’ll get ready at the hotel with my mom and BMs.
Post # 7
It all depends on the relationship you two have. You can always ask her to join in as you get ready and maybe even ask her to stop by an hour before (instead of being there the entire time you are getting ready). This way you have some bonding time with her before your ceremony, but spend most of the time with your own mother or bridal party.
Post # 8
I can only judge based on my FBIL’s wedding last year but my FMIL didn’t go anywhere near the brides room when she was getting ready. She didn’t even speak with her until right before their processional. I dont know if this is normal or not.
I plan to tell my FMIL that she is more than welcome to be there with us when we’re getting ready but like messybride mentioned, I am going to kick everyone out besides my mom when I am getting in my dress. I won’t really have an opportunity to spend one-on-one time with her during the day so having those few minutes will be special to us both.
Post # 9
Ask your mom if she’s ok with her being there, and if she is and you don’t mind, invite her. Even if she doesn’t want to come I’m sure she’d be happy with the invite.
I invited my mil to get her hair and makeup done, but she didn’t want to b/c she already has a place that she likes to get that done. She came while we were getting ready and just went back and forwarth from me to my hubby the whole time. For me, I loved having her there. We’re all about family and I wanted to share my whole day with my new family.
Post # 10
I am not really sure if I want her there or don’t. I love her and she is very nice but I really want my wedding dress to be a suprise to EVERYONE other then my maids and my mom. I thought I would invite her to breakfast and to get her hair and make up done with us but then she would go back to the hotel with the guys. However, she isn’t getting either of those done so I don’t know. It isn’t close enough for her to go between the two locations. I just really think the more people I have around the more stressed out I will become. Plus, I know that my over dramatic mother is going to flip because she thinks that I should only be witht he maids and her on my wedding day.
Post # 11
I don’t want anyone in the room with me but my MOH, mother and aunt. I don’t really like my FMIL and really don’t want to interact with her at all the entire time she’s in town. I’m even staying at the hotel with my MOH when she comes into town because my FMIL will be at my house. It may sound bad but seeing her would ruin my whole wedding experience. Ugg just thinking about it makes me want a drink and its only 9:30a right now! lol
Post # 12
I don’t think that’s expected, but if you have a good relationship with her and you want her there, the go for it!
Post # 13
And I just mentioned this to my FH and he flipped out on it and was like “WHY CAN’T SHE BE WITH YOU!” And yes she does want to be with me. I don’t get why though.
Post # 14
You dont need to do that but if you want her there then invite her. My MIL stopped by once I had my dress and everything on and we took a few pictures with my SILs as well. She was there for maybe 5 minutes and then I didnt see her again until right before our ceremony. I was happy to have a time that was special with just my mom there and I know my mom was happy too
Post # 15
my fmil has the option to come in and go as she pleases.. she does xcellent makeup so she might actually be helping with makeup, She is very easy going so I dont mind if she is there or not.
Post # 16
My MIL would have been glued to me like a cheap toupee if she had it her way. I really wanted it to be me, my mom, and my BMs and wasn’t super interested in more people being with us for the sake of being with us. SO I assigned my aunt (who also would have been there, so this actually got two people out of the way and made one of them feel really important to have a “special job”) the task of keeping MIL occupied. I made it clear to MIL that she was definitely more than welcome to come at lunch and then have her hair and make up done with us, but that she should really be with her son on his wedding day. It worked out really well actually. My aunt shuttled MIL around between the hotel I was at and the hotel where DH was getting ready (and where she was staying). MIL was thrilled to be with my aunt, I got some peace and quiet and had time with my mom, and everyone was happy because they got to see me getting ready at some stage of the game.